


Rumor Has It

by ColourfulUnicorn38, xrioterx



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), Game of Thrones RPF
Genre: Affairs, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Friendship, Romance, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2018-12-22 18:24:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 90,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11973084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColourfulUnicorn38/pseuds/ColourfulUnicorn38, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xrioterx/pseuds/xrioterx
Summary: "I think they both know it's wrong. I think they both know it's going to cause problems. But it's that thing, when you suddenly feel that deeply about someone, and you go through those events together, it's like a runaway train. You can't stop it from happening."Emilia is left rattled after her name appears in the tabloids alongside her co-star Kit and his girlfriend Rose. Kit realizes that something is up and begins probing and questioning his bestfriend. Will she confess her feelings to him? Or will he figure it out on his own?A tale of forbidden love and attraction.





	1. Chapter 1

Emilia had never been one to pay attention to what was being said in the media. Yes, she saw the articles. Yes, she knew what some of them were saying about her love life but she always tried to rise above the gossip and rumors. She tried to not let it affect her or determine how she interacted with the people around her.

This one was different though. This one was pricking at her very thick skin in a way she couldn't shake. The most recent rumors were hitting the nail directly on the proverbial head so to speak. _GoT actress hurt over co-stars recent reconciliation. Game of Thrones Daenerys jealous over Jon Snow & Ygritte reunion?_ They had no evidence to support these claims. There was no substance to any of this. Just hollow, empty words to stir drama in the celeb world for a measly buck. She was livid. She was anxious. She was sad.

She stared at the computer screen, deciphering every word of these articles. Feeling the heavy thumping of her heart against the walls of her chest. Her eyes burned and her palms grew moist and clammy with each scroll and click of her touchpad. Why was she so bothered by these articles? Yes, she might have some feelings for her co-star but these people knew nothing of her. They knew nothing about her life or who she was. She let out a slow but audible exhale and closed her eyes against the brightness of her laptop screen.

"You shouldn't read those you know?" A booming voice came from behind her.

She quickly closed her laptop and spun around on her stool to see Kit closing her trailer door and making his way towards her.

"I know." She sighed, lowering her gaze to the floor.

"And yet here you are. What are they saying now?" He asked quizzically as he plopped himself onto the couch next to her stool. One denim clad leg stretched comfortably on the edge of the couch, much like his arm that lay on the back of it.

She met his gaze then. His brown eyes searching her blue green ones. "Nothing worth talking about."

"Come on Em, it's clearly bothering you."

"Let it go, Kit." She said finally before getting up and walking past him to the far end of the room. She began folding a few items of clothing that had been loosely flung around the trailer as a means of distracting herself when she noticed Kit making a dash for her laptop.

Before she could get to it, he already had the laptop lifted in the air and reading the article that popped up once the screen came alive. With both arms raised, she tried to grab it from him but he was taller than her and so her efforts were futile.

"Bloody hell Harington, give it here." She strained as she tried to retrieve the device from his out of reach hands.

"In a minute." He said distractedly as he quickly scanned the headline and the article on the screen.

A few moments had past with her trying to take back her laptop and him ignoring her feeble attempts as he looked at the article. He lowered his gaze to hers when he was satisfied. She was right next to him and breathing heavily from trying to wrestle him to retrieve her computer. His arms slowly came down to her level as he studied her face. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He noticed her eyes were wide with fear at being caught. She grabbed the computer then and angrily stalked across the singular room to the other side of the trailer.

"I don't understand."

She almost slammed the laptop on the marble counter of her mini kitchen. "I really wish you had listened to me, Kit. Why must you be such a damn wanker?"

Kit laughed at that. He slowly made his way over to where she stood. Her back was to him. Her arms spread wide and gripping the edge of the counter. Her knuckles tense and white.

He gently laid his hands on her rigid shoulders and slowly spun her around. "Come here."

She allowed him to hold her then. His chin resting on the top of her head and his arms securely wrapped around her. She enjoyed these moments. She enjoyed the feel of him more than she should. More than she should allow herself. Her eyes began to burn at the thought. So she shut them so tightly against the tears and inhaled him as he playfully rocked her from side to side. He smelled of a light musky cologne with a hint of tobacco from his smoke break. She hated that he smoked as much as he did but very much enjoyed the intoxicating way the smoke lingered on him.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. He was the first to break away from the hug. He held her by the shoulders and locked eyes with her. "No more." He stated with a slight demand to his tone.

She understood him. She knew what he meant and she smiled at him. A dopey, watery smile that barely reached her eyes. 

"No more." She agreed.

"Good." he said as he released her and walked back to the couch as he spoke. "They don't know you like I do, Em. They'll publish anything for a story. There's no truth there, only nonsense and horse shit."

Emilia continued to fold then. She barely acknowledged what he had said in that moment.

He watched her carefully as she distracted herself with the simple task. Studied her. Noticed the rigidity that gripped her body the moment he spoke of the falsehood of the articles. There was something she wasn't telling him. There was more to the story.


	2. Chapter 2

It was after filming and the day had ended on such an exhausting note. Everyone returned to their respective hotel rooms except for a few who sat in the shared living room area of their royal suite. Gatherings of this nature only took place when something had happened on set or when they were making plans to go out together.

Emilia was curled up on a comfy chaise sofa by the balcony entrance. She sat perfectly clad in her pajama bottoms and an oversized white cashmere sweater with her legs tucked neatly under her. Her glasses resting on the bridge of her nose and her nose buried in her phone. Spain was a beautiful country and the Alfonso XIII hotel was quite spectacular but she honestly had no intention of leaving her room tonight. She took note of everyone nearby. The way they chattered and laughed. They hardly ever saw each other, much less shoot scenes together and it was quite nice. It was _very_ nice.

Liam was on the balcony smoking. Lena, Nikolaj and Gwendoline sat in the love seats a few feet in front of her, discussing their nightly plans while Nathalie was in the kitchen, her back against the counter on a phone call. She sat observing them in the solace of her own thoughts, in her own little corner. A small smile crept across her lips. One she didn't even notice but Kit surely did.

"Must be _some_ text." He said, nodding to her phone. He had a playful smirk plastered across his face as he made his way to the balcony to join Liam.

"Shut up!" she shot back and made an attempt to slap his leg as he walked by. She hadn't even seen him enter the room. Of course he'd go straight for a smoke before actually socializing. She peered at him from her seat, mostly blocked by the wall and the flowing sheer curtains at the balcony entrance. She watched him as he spoke to Liam, pausing every now and then to take a drag from his cigarette. He wore a plain black v-neck t-shirt with his blue washed denim pants. His curly hair had been done in a plain bun at the back of his head and his face was perfectly framed by his glasses. She liked it when he wore them, not that she would ever admit that to him. She adjusted her own, sliding the frame up her nose with a finger and returned her gaze to the phone that sat idly on her lap.

 

Several minutes had gone by and the group still hadn't decided on a place to go. "Guys, honestly, why's this taking such a longtime? It's the club or the hotel bar. Someone choose one now or I'm going to bed." Gwendoline insisted in her thick British accent.

"I say we take a vote. Whichever gets the most, that's where we'll go. Personally, it does not matter to me. As long as there's rum, I'll be happy." Nikolaj replied with a coy smile.

Gwendoline laughed and gently pushed his shoulder. "You don't drink."

"Well, tonight I do." He added.

Emilia isn't paying much attention to anyone when Kit takes a seat on the chaise next to her.

"So, who's the lucky guy?" He asks playfully.

"None of your business." She says without looking up from her phone screen. He smells of smoke and gin, she notes to herself.

"Fine. Well, he's not getting my stamp of approval."

At this, she did look up. She's met with a pair of mischievous eyes and a seemingly nonchalant smile. "You're so full of yourself. Who says I need your bloody approval for anything? Anyone I date, you'd just have to accept," she said through fits of small giggles as she tried to control her mirth.

"We'll just see about that now won't we?" He bites back. His phone vibrates and he takes a quick look with a smile lightly ghosting his lips. Without looking up from his device, he says, "Rose says hi."

A shaky smile graces Emilia's face. Her heart drops just a bit. Her gaze falls back to her own phone. Kit doesn't notice. "Send her my love."

He's typing rapidly and slowly looking away from his phone when he says, "So , what's the plan for tonight?"

She looks up at him and wiggles the phone in her hand. Indicating to him that she had no intention of going anywhere with the others.

"You can't be serious?" And before Kit could asks why, Lena chimes in.

"For fucks sake Liam, we are not doing that. Emilia darling, what say you?"

Emilia is caught off guard. Her mouth hanging open for a second before she could find her words. "I..I don't think.."

"We're both feeling the club." Kit interjects before she could have a chance to decline.

Emilia is stunned. "Kit..."

He rests a hand on her knee and looks up at her with reassuring eyes in an attempt to soothe any argument that might be coming. His eyes are screaming _trust me_ and she did.

Lena begins to slow clap, "Well, there we go! These two are the only decisive ones here, so I say let's go clubbing shall we?"

 

_____________________

 

It's well after midnight. The club is packed. The music is booming. Kaleidoscope lights cutting through the heavy, vibrating atmosphere. The air thick with smoke and nauseating liquor. 

They're cozied up on the floor above everyone, overlooking the regular patrons. The VIP lounge of one of the best night clubs in Seville, Spain. The DJ got word of their presence shortly after their arrival and made sure to give them a shout out, which took them all by surprise. _So much for laying low_ , Emilia thought to herself.

Nikolaj ordered rounds and rounds of shots for the group. "Come on guys, load up on the happy juice. Let's get some love in ya bones!"

Gwendoline laughed. "Are you sure you're alright? Rough day?"

"A piss of a day actually." Nikolaj replied.

Gwendoline and Kit stood smoking next to Emilia who was simply taking in the scene in front of her. She'd had a few shots and didn't trust herself to stand or do anything more than what she was doing right now. 

"What is this vile concoction you keep feeding us?" Lena asked after downing her fourth shot.

"It burns like a fucking bitch." Liam added in his thick Irish accent.

"It's just a little Sambuca. You'll be fine. Kit, none for you, my good man?"

"You can have this round." Kit shouted above the blaring music before sliding next to Emilia in the leathery booth. "You're not letting up. This is what? Your third? Fourth?" he inquired as he leaned in close to her ear.

She could feel his breath on her neck. As he spoke, the air around her filled with tobacco and the smell of him. She fought against a shiver that wanted to make its way up her spine. "You wanted me to come here right? Well, here I am."

He shifted a bit so he could face her. Studying her for a moment before leaning in again. "Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?"

Her body became tense. Her heart quickened. She was hoping he didn't notice. "What are you talking about, Kit?"

"Earlier in the trailer, when you were completely unnerved about that crap you saw online? What's going on, Em?"

She sighed. Lightly shaking her head. "Here? Now? Can you just drop it already? I mean honestly, there's nothing to worry about. I'm fine." Her eyes were pleading with him and he knew this wasn't the best place for a conversation. He'd let it go. He'd drop it like she asked. For now.

"Why's no one dancing?" Gwendoline asked loudly between sips of a margarita.

"Emilia can't dance." Kit added playfully to relieve some of the tension between them. He was rewarded with a punch from his best friend. "Oww!" Rubbing his shoulder, he looked over at her in a fit of laughter. "For such a small person, you pack a mean bloody punch."

"There's nothing wrong with my dancing!" 

"You are THE most awkward thing I've ever seen, hands down." Kit added before sliding away and out of her reach.

She glared at him while the others watched and giggled at the playful pair. "You're one to talk." She added with a roll of her eyes.

Just then another round of shots appeared and Nikolaj began doing a little happy jig. "More drinks to go around!"

He began handing out each shot to everyone and Emilia did not waste any time in downing hers in one burning gulp.

Three shots later and she was standing at the railing looking down at the patrons below. Her body felt alive. On the edge of something euphoric. Her legs were wobbly and her head light and swimming. All inhibitions lost. She gripped the railing in front of her and closed her eyes against the bone jerking bass that filled the air. The sounds of Disclosure’s _Latch_ was thumping in her ears. She hummed to herself. Feeling the way the song flowed through her. Smiling and entranced by the experience. Totally oblivious to her onlookers.

_I feel we're close enough.  
I wanna lock in your love._

Kit watched from his seat in the booth where she left him. She worried him. Something was clearly on her mind but she refused to open up to him about it. Between joining in on the conversation around him and sipping on his beer, he noticed she began to sway. For a split second, he thought she was losing her balance and falling over the railing but then he realized she was swaying to the thumping beat of the music. The sight before him left him speechless. Surprised. Stunned. There was no awkwardness in the way she swayed. Not this time and it caught him off guard. Her back was to him. Her movements provocative. She slowly turned to face him and that's when he noticed that her eyes were closed and her hands were trailing sensually across her body. She's moving in her own little drunken world and he's fascinated by it. Confused but completely enthralled by her magic.

_I think we're close enough.  
Could I lock in your love, baby?_

He began to notice the way her brunette hair cascaded around her shoulders. The way her red, sleeveless dress hugged delicate curves and how shapely and taut her legs were. His eyes were roaming and wandering from head to toe and when they got back to her face, brown orbs met blue green ones.

She was staring right back at him. 

In all the blaring chaos, smoke and chatter. 

She's still dancing. She's still moving.

Never breaking eye contact.

Holding his gaze through ever movement of her hips.

_How do you do it, you got me losing every breath.  
What did you give me to make my heart beat out my chest?_

In the darkness of the club, her eyes are searching his, and his are searching hers. He can't look away. The mood quickly shifts from one of admiration and appreciation for the woman before him and becomes one of passion. Less friendly. Less platonic. Raw. Erotic. Lustful. His pulse quickens. His heart is doing weird things inside his chest and his head is swimming with a million thoughts. She is his best friend. She's been his best friend for years. This confuses him. Frightens him. He knew he should look away. He knew he needed to break the contact. He knew but he couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wanted to take a moment to say thank you for all the feedback, kudos and lovely comments! Your support and love is truly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to give my story a read. I'm grateful and overwhelmed by your response xoxo
> 
> Thanks to my co-creator for her advice, her nods of approval and making sure my work is up to par with the standard I want to achieve. Much love to you sis @xrioterx ♥
> 
> I just started a new job so my updates may be a little further apart. My goal is to have a chapter or two uploaded for you at least once per week. If I can do more, I'll surely do it. Thanks again. Much love and light ♥


	3. Chapter 3

The piercing sound of her alarm was what woke Emilia later that day. Her eyes flew open expecting a sudden bashing from the sun's rays but nothing came. She was instead surrounded by a gentle darkness. She blinked once. Twice. Three times before realizing she had been engulfed in a mountain of pillows that had been neatly arranged at the head of her bed the previous night. She didn't move immediately. She moaned at the blaring shrills of her alarm and the ache she felt in her bones from simply being conscious. Sliding her hand under the pile, she began feeling around on the bed for the culprit in question. After a few seconds of unsuccessful searching, her hand finally came upon the device. She swiped blindly along the phone screen, refusing to budge an inch until the blaring finally ceased.

She sighed loudly to herself before attempting to sit up. She knew all too well what was coming next and she took no pleasure in it. Using one hand to support her weight, she pushed her upper body off the bed and slowly opened her eyes. A wave of sickness hit her so hard, she nearly fell back into the pillows beneath her. Her stomach turned and knotted on instinct. Her head pounding and unstable. Her eyes dry and prickly. _What happened last night?_ She still had her makeup on. Traces of lipstick still visible on her white comforter and her eyeliner and mascara formed dark half circles under her eyes. She laid a palm against her clammy forehead and felt just how disheveled her hair was. She was a complete mess at 5:39 in the morning.

Emilia didn't recall much of what happened at the club. She doesn't even remember getting back to the hotel or how she got in bed. She tried to think back to a few hours ago and her inability to recall the events caused her to panic and a nauseating ache to settle in the pit of her stomach. She's left with nothing but jumbled memories and more questions. She can't deal with this right now, she needed to start getting ready for work. Slowly observing the space around her, she realized that she still wore her red dress and shoes. She carefully slid the red pumps from her heel and it fell to the floor with a loud clatter, causing her to wince at the noise.

Swinging her legs from the bed, she allowed them to dangle and fall to the cold tiles, the contact sending chills through her body. Resting her hands on the edge of the bed for support, she pushed herself up. Immediately, her head began spinning and her weight sent her right back to taking a seat on the bed. Second time's the charm but the dizziness is still gripping at her. Using the furniture in her room for support, she made her way to the bathroom. Closing the door behind her as she let a loud, tiring groan fall from her lips.

 

Emilia sat in the solitude of her trailer, nestled in the corner of her couch. All blinds drawn. Her sunglasses were still on and her script in hand. She stared at the pages, willing herself to concentrate as she sipped on a bottle of spring water to alleviate the horrid taste in her mouth. Her legs comfortably tucked beside her and her neck pillow keeping her from collapsing into herself. _She just needed to get through the day_ , she reminded herself.

Just then a knock came from her trailer door and before she could decide on whether or not she was in the mood for visitors, the door flew open. Kit's head poked inside and he immediately let himself in once he realized she was there. He closed the door behind him and turned to face her. He stopped dead in his tracks. Staring wordlessly. Speechlessly. A thundering laugh erupting from his chest, one Emilia had never heard before. She must look quite the sight in all her hangover gears. As beautiful as his laughter was, it did nothing for the splitting headache she was currently suffering from. She tried not to cringe but he must have seen it and attempted to stifle his laughter as he approached her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered before taking a seat next to her on the beige couch. "What happened to you?"

"I should be asking you,” she replied.

He laughed again, before he responded, "Nothing you need to worry about."

Panic began swelling inside her chest. Her eyes became wide with worry. She was terrified at what she might have done or said while she was inebriated. "Kit.." she said warningly. "What did I do?"

"I promise you, nothing detrimental." He replied, a small laugh slipping out at the end.

He hadn't been lying. She hadn't done anything damaging. She had danced. He had enjoyed it. More than he should have. Even though she clearly hadn't remembered any of it, he surely did. He remembered the way she fell breathlessly next to him in the leather booth afterwards. He remembered both of them being sandwiched between Gwendoline and Liam in the cab ride back to the hotel. The way her head rested on his shoulder as she slept. The way her chest rose and fell with each silent breath she took. A smile had tugged at the corner of his lips as he watched her eyelids flutter in dreamland. He even remembered the way she collapsed almost immediately on to her bed the moment he escorted her to her room. He laughed to himself then and slowly, soundlessly closed the door behind him with a shake of his head.

"Kit!" a more forceful warning came from her then. "Tell me," she stressed.

He couldn't control the bountiful tumbling laugh that escaped him. She was clearly very worried and he found it simply hilarious. "Okay. Fine," he paused before continuing. "You did a little _dancing_ ," he admitted with a lopsided grin on his face.

"What?!" she shouted. The severity of the situation and the embarrassing and horrifying truth slowly sank in. "Oh no. Oh my god. Kit, why didn't you stop me? You know I can't..."

"No actually, this one wasn't bad. It was actually quite... sexy."

She looked surprised. Taken aback by his honesty. She didn't know what to say. She searched his eyes for any clue that he might be pulling her leg and when she found none, she was gobsmacked. A crimson blush rose from her neck, slowly making its way to her cheeks. She's grinning and trying to act nonchalant about it.

"Seriously Em, if I were single and you had been just another girl in the club and I saw you dancing like _that_ , I'd definitely be... intrigued."

She laughed at that. "Shut up."

"What? I'm not kidding."

"Don't let Rose hear you say that. She'd kill you... then me... then you again."

"I said _if_ I were single," he laughed.

"I don't care how sexy it was, as my best friend it's your moral obligation to stop me from doing nonsense like this? It could have gone horribly wrong."

"But it didn't and speaking of best friend duties, when are we going to have a chat about yesterday?" he asked finally.

She was becoming increasingly exasperated with his constant probing. "Why do you keep bringing that up?" 

"I'm sorry Em but something's not right. You're going through a hard time and you're keeping it from me. Honestly, as your best friend, I don't know if I should be offended or not."

She doesn't know what to say to that. She could read the hurt on his face. He tried to conceal it but it was there and the guilt she felt over having him feel that way almost made her want to bare her soul to him. Tell him everything she's been fighting for so long. Give in to everything she's been running from all this time. He almost had her. Almost.

"It's not an issue Kit, believe me. It's not. Can you trust me when I say it doesn't matter? That it wouldn't change anything between us? Trust that I'm okay?" she finished pleadingly.

"But you're not _okay_."

"I am!" she insisted.

"Em.." he started.

"Kit, please. Just. Stop." she released a heavy, shaky breath. "Drop it okay?"

It's hard to see her eyes beyond the deep brown tint of her sunglasses but he knows she isn't looking at him anymore. Her gaze no longer directed at him. She's staring straight ahead at nothing. There's a long tense pause between them.

He sighs heavily. "Em, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pressed."

He's trying to catch her gaze. Ducking his head to grab her attention. She turns to look at him then. He's searching her eyes beneath the glasses. He's not sure what she's feeling. He needs to see her and that's when he reaches between them and slides the frames from behind her ears. She doesn't protest. She's surprised at his action but she doesn't react.

He can see her now. See that her eyes are wide and watery. Sees the defiance and determination. Sees the sadness and the struggle. His eyebrows are knitted as his eyes search hers for answers. He wants to help her. He wants to make things easier for her but how can he when she won't let him in. "You know you can talk to me about anything right?"

She smiles at that. "Yes, I know and I appreciate it. More than you'll ever understand." She's fighting back tears that threaten to betray her. Threaten to weaken her.

"I won't push anymore. Whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'll be here and I promise to listen and be as understanding as you need me to be. I'm always here for you Emilia. I hope you know that."

She's smiling up at him, warm and wet with emotion. She's trying to find the words to say to him to thank him for always being there, to help him understand how much he means to her but the lump in her throat makes it damn near impossible. She swallows against it, pushing back the intensity of her feelings so she could speak but he beats her to it.

"Plus someone needs to look after your drunken ass when you decide to go Madonna on us again."

She laughs at that, using her hands to cover her face when she remembers what he told her about the events at the club. "Oh my god!" she replies. She's feigning mortification but she's really hiding her flushed cheeks.

He's watching this adorable display of shyness and trying everything for it not to tug at his heartstrings. He's failing. Quite miserably, he admits to himself. They're all smiles and giggles now. The intense and awkward conversation almost forgotten. He reaches for her hands, gently pulling them from her face. "Come on , Em. It wasn't that bad," he manages through a small chuckle.

She's finally looking directly at him. Her eyes disappearing behind squints as she smiles. A flush etched on her face that she's trying so hard to hide. She then realizes they've gotten much closer on the couch, their bodies now facing each other. Her giggle slowly dying down when she lowers her gaze to their still joined hands. His thumbs in her palms and his palms on the back of her hand. She could feel her skin slowly getting clammy from the contact. She hesitantly lifts her gaze to look at his face and he's staring right back at her. A smile still visible on his lips, his chocolate eyes locking onto hers. 

She's smiling still. A small, sweet smile that he adores. He notices the way she's eyeing their hands and he's wondering why he still hasn't let her go. The energy between them building up fast, becoming charged with an intense myriad of unsaid things. The smile slowly fades from his face as he recalls the night before. The way tension had built walls around them as she danced and now here they were, sitting just inches apart, his hands lightly gripping hers. No one makes a move to break the contact this time. No one seems to want to. Their breathing becoming heavy and labored in the stillness of the trailer.

Her gaze falls down to his lips as his tongue quickly darts out to wet them and her stomach flips when he does. The excitement and tension of the moment making it hard to breathe and she wonders if he'll do it. She wonders if he'll kiss her. She wants him to. _God_ , she wants him to but Rose. Rose is her best friend too. She'd never forgive her. She'd never forgive him. Her thoughts are muddled, wrestling with her desires but all is lost when his gaze drops to her own lips. She parts them almost instinctively, waiting for him to close the gap between them. Waiting for him to lean in and taste her but then there's a knock on her trailer door.

The trance like state they've been in, vanishes. She quickly pulls her hands from him and he pushes himself from the couch in one swift movement. He's standing in the middle of the trailer now, clearing his throat when she voices a shaky, "Come in."

Her door flies open, letting light inside, shedding and tearing at the heaviness in the atmosphere. She's needed in the hair and makeup trailer so she springs to her feet as Kit quickly makes his way to the door ahead of her. He turns to face her before leaving all together. His eyebrows knitted. He's perplexed. He's confused. He's not sure what to say and neither is she, as she returns his gaze.

"I'll see you on set," he manages quickly. Awkwardly.

She swallows hard before nodding a quick 'yes' and he spins around and stalks off down the grassy walk way between the other trailers. She steps outside and into the sunlight. She sees the back of him, making his way to his own quarters. She's finding it hard to still her mind. Finding it even harder to steady her heart. _What was that?_

Kit stood inside his trailer. His back pressed against the door. His eyes shut tight. He's trying to control his breathing and wondering pretty much the same. _What was that?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading and supporting my story still. It means so much to me! I wanted to post this chapter over the weekend but I got sick so I'm just getting a chance to do that now.
> 
> It's a really long chapter but I hope you enjoy! Love and light <3

"I'm pretty sure this counts as harassment," Emilia strained from her crouched position.

"Just take the bloody picture already!" Liam insisted.

They're in the hotel's restaurant. Everyone gathered at one end of the rectangular table, trying to get as closely together as possible for Peter's picture. Kit sat in the midst of them. He hadn't gotten up from his seat and they had all just gravitated to his side to stand and crouch around him for some reason.

Nathalie is sandwiched between Liam and Pilou as they bent awkwardly behind Kit's chair. Emilia on the other hand, lowered herself next to him, eagerly waiting for the snap or flash of Peter's phone camera. Her bones and joints beginning to ache and shake from holding the uncomfortable position.

"Having a little trouble over there?" Kit asked, a bit of humor in his voice.

"I may not be the most tech savvy person but I do know how to navigate a camera, thank you very much," Peter bit back.

Kit laughed at the man's witty response.

"Ready?" Peter asked.

"YES!" everyone shouted back.

"For god sake, take the 'fooking' picture!" Liam voiced over the rest.

The camera clicked and everyone released a collective sigh of relief before slowly moving from their positions.

"Thank god," Emilia exhaled as she tried to straighten and flex her sore joints.

"Don't move just yet. I need one with myself in it." Peter added.

"Come on." Nathalie moaned as she leaned against Emilia's back, resting her weight on the brunette and wrapping her arms around her shoulders. Her body tired and tender from crouching to Kit's seated level.

Peter gestured for a waiter, before handing him the phone and joining the huddled group. They were all back in their positions with addition to Peter who stood on the other side of Kit's chair.

The waiter paused before motioning wordlessly that they needed to be closer together so he could capture everyone in one shot.

"Maybe Peter needs to sit on Kit's lap," Pilou joked.

"Ha! Ha! Fuck off Pilou! Not happening. Emilia dear, would you mind?" Peter asked.

Emilia didn't know what to say. She didn't mind but she wasn't sure it was the best idea based on how their last encounter had gone. She stared opened mouthed at Peter, not being able to find a reason as to why this wasn't okay. She looked over at Kit, who did not seem concerned in the least. He seemed totally fine with the suggestion. If Kit had no problems with this, then why should she? She's sat on his lap before, on more than one occasion. There's no reason this should be awkward. 

As she stood, he uncrossed his legs and opened his arms welcomingly, allowing her to seat herself comfortably across his lap. She tilted forward, crossing both hands on the table in front of her as she smiled, awaiting the click of the camera. Kit brought his hand to rest on her knee; it wasn't as awkward as she thought it would have been. He's smiling and shows no sign of being uncomfortable. That is until the waiter begins having trouble taking the picture and Peter has to go assist him. What should have taken a few seconds is stretching into more time. The longer she spends on his lap, the more self-conscious she begins to feel. She's trying not to move, refusing to turn and look at him but she can feel his eyes on her. Burning holes in the back of her head.

He noticed the way she stiffened after a few moments. The way she avoided his eyes. Every turn of her head had brought on a new whiff of her vanilla shampoo and her subtle Le Labo perfume. It was dizzying, intoxicating even. It was beginning to drive him crazy. It made him want to reach out and touch her. Lean in and take a deep breath of her. He shook his head against the thought and that's when she noticed and slightly turned to look at him, their eyes meeting momentarily before Peter shouted, "Ready!"

They directed their attention back to the waiter. Smiling widely. There was a click and another exhale of held breaths before everyone began to disperse, making their way back to their respective seats. Emilia sat across from Kit, at the other end of the table, directly facing him. Nathalie, Liam, Peter and Pilou all sat along its length, glasses of wine in front of them.

Kit stared at Emilia from across the wooden surface. Noticing the way she had become flustered earlier. He wanted to make sure she was okay. He could tell sometimes, just by looking at her but she wouldn't meet his gaze. She kept her head lowered, before reaching for her glass of wine and taking a few quick sips.

Before long, they're making jokes about things that happened on set and telling stories about childhood memories. They're sipping wine and experimenting with different Spanish cuisine, the day's work completely forgotten. It's nice to see everyone so happy. So content. The booming sound of endless laughter. The banging of palms against table. The rattling of silverware. It was quite the scene for anyone who knew who they were.

Kit glanced over at Emilia again. She was attentively listening to one of Liam's tales. A huge grin on her lips. Her eyes squinted. Her cheeks flushed from laughing so hard. Her hair done in a loose bun with two tresses framing her face. She wore little makeup tonight but she looked radiant all the same. Relaxed and happy. He liked her like this. She was laughing again, a loud bellowing laugh and that made him smile just by looking at her.

She must have felt his eyes because she hesitantly looked up at him, meeting his gaze. He stared back at her. His eyes wide and frightened after being caught. He doesn't look away though and neither does she. For a quick second, it's just them at the table, sharing this moment. She smiles back at him. A reassuring, sweet thing and he smiles back at her. She looks away, focusing her attention back to the other members of their group. So he tries his best to do the same. His efforts are futile. His gaze keeps coming back to her with every laughter, with every word spoken and every sip of her wine. 

 

"You were telling me about that parlor with the vegan section," Nathalie said.

"Ah, yes! They're still open if you want to go check them out," Peter replied.

"That sounds like a plan. Anyone else in the mood for ice cream?" Nathalie directed at the group.

"I'll come along." Pilou stated, pushing his seat back so he could stand.

______________________

Emilia was left with Liam and Kit. They spoke briefly before Kit excused himself to visit the loo, leaving Emilia and Liam to chat. On his way back, he was stopped by a staff member who asked how the service was so far. He commended them and told the older man they were having a good time. He could hear Liam and Emilia having a conversation at their table just beyond the partition where he stood.

"I don't know who you're fooling, you love that man," Liam said in a hushed tone.

Emilia sighed, "Have you ever loved someone so much that you settled for being friends just to keep them in your life?"

There was silence before Liam said, "I think you should tell the lad. He deserves to have all the information before he makes any decisions."

There's another brief pause.

"He already made his decision. He has Rose and they're happy. That's all that matters."

It was Liam's turn to sigh, "I can't say I agree with your choice but I understand. It's a difficult situation to be in."

There was more silence before Emilia spoke again, "How did you..?"

"I noticed the way you look at him. I know that look." Liam finished.

Kit stood in silence. He was paralyzed. Finding it hard to wrap his head around the information he just overheard. He stood staring off into nothing. His heart thumping erratically against his chest bone. He needed to move. He willed himself to move. Just then, they continued to speak but he couldn't listen to anymore. He speedily rounded the corner and was faced head on with Emilia's eyes. She allowed the conversation with Liam to die immediately the moment she noticed him approaching them. He walked over to the table, taking his seat across from her.

"Are you okay, lad?" Liam asked.

"Yeah, you don't look so good. You look awfully pale," Emilia added.

He's staring right at her, unable to speak. Unable to hear anything beyond their conversation. The words replaying in his head.

"Kit? You're scaring me now. What's wrong?" Emilia asked anxiously, making a move to get up.

"No, I'm fine. Honestly. I think I just had a little too much wine."

Emilia is looking at him strangely. She's not convinced that that's the reason for his odd behavior. She's studying him from across the table. Her eyebrows knitted as she observes him. She knew something was wrong. He's not looking up at her and before she could probe further, Peter interrupts the moment, "We're back," he announces.

"And we brought treats. Emilia you need to taste this?" Nathalie rushes to her side. An ice cream cone in hand and a huge dopey smile on her face.

They've taken their seats again, sharing the pastries and ice cream they just bought. Speaking enthusiastically of the different flavors and goodies they've discovered but Kit and Emilia aren't paying much attention. Kit is still reeling from his discovery and Emilia is busy trying to figure out what had her best friend so shaken all of a sudden.

___________________

They all exit the elevator together. Wrapped up in conversation. Laughing and talking loudly. Kit and Emilia are falling behind. Both silently waiting for a moment alone to speak privately. Liam opens the suite door he shares with the two women and Nathalie enters immediately. Both Peter and Pilou say their goodbyes and make their way down the carpeted corridor to their own suite. Liam is holding the door open as Emilia and Kit slowly make their way inside.

"Party's not over?" Liam asks, a knowing smile on his face as he notices Kit isn't leaving just yet.

"I'm escorting this lovely lady to her room," Kit replies.

"I'm fine. You really don't need to."

"I'd say otherwise. You're high off wine and ice cream. Who knows what kind of trouble you'll get into," he teases.

"I'm not a child," she bites back.

"I'm off. G'night everyone." Nathalie says before vanishing behind her door.

Liam heads straight for the balcony, unlit cigarette in hand. "If anyone needs me, I'll be out on the terrace," he says before stepping onto the balcony and closing the glass door behind him.

Emilia heads for her room door, Kit following closely behind her. She opens the door and turns to face him. "Well, here I am, safe and sound. Thank you for escorting me, though it was not necessary."

He laughs at that. "I'm glad. Now I can sleep peacefully knowing you're alright."

"I hope I can sleep peacefully myself but honestly, I could use another glass of wine and maybe…"

"Do you love me?" It's rushed. It's sudden. It's beyond his lips before he could catch it.

Emilia is caught off guard. She freezes mid-sentence. "W-what?" she stammers.

"Do you love me?" He insisted.

"Of course, I love you. You're my best friend."

"No, Em. Do you _love_ me?"

She doesn't know what to say. Her head is swimming. Her tongue is heavy. Her breath completely taken from her lungs. "I-I don't know what...?"

"I heard you and Liam talking before I got back to the table. I heard you tell him that you had all these feelings for me," he paused to study her face. "Is this why you were so bothered by those articles? Is this why you wouldn't talk to me about it?"

"So you're eavesdropping now?" she blurts out.

"Emilia," he said sternly.

"Kit, please."

"I wasn't eavesdropping and you need to be more careful where you have those types of conversations but I heard what I heard and I can't ‘unhear’ it. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what Kit? There was nothing to tell. You were with Rose. You were with my best friend. I couldn't.." she paused. Shaking her head, staring down at her feet. "I'm fine. You love her and she loves you and you're happy and that makes me happy. That's all that matters." There's desperation in her tone. She's trying to convince him that this is no big deal.

"Emilia.."

"No, Kit. No. Not this time. I'm not going to come between you and Rose. I'm truly happy for you. Honestly, I am." Her eyes began welling up with tears. She fought against it. Blinked against them. Willed them away but still they came. "This is how it has to be. There's no use in getting ourselves worked up about this, breathing more life into this _thing_. You might have heard it but you _do_ need to ‘unhear’ it, okay?"

He looked down at her. Saw the way she trembled as she spoke. Saw the tears that threatened to spill over. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to hold her. He wanted so badly for her to be okay. He lifted a hand to wipe away a single tear that fell but his hand lingered and he stroked her cheek. Using his thumb to lightly brush at soft skin. His eyes focused on her face, when he whispered, "Em, I don't think I can."

There's a quick flash of anger in her eyes. Her expression shifting to a colder, distant one. She's pulling away from him. Taking a step back. "Well, I can't help you with that," she bites out bitterly before turning and slamming the door in his face.

Kit is left standing in the entrance, facing the closed door. He's shocked. He's confused. He shakes his head before turning and walking through the living room area and out the door of the suite. He's standing in the hollow empty corridor, not a living thing in sight. He releases a long drawn out breath against tightly closed eyes before making his way to his own shared suite just three doors away.


	5. Chapter 5

It's been days since they last spoke. She's been avoiding him, that much he knows. They've worked on set together. They've even had scenes together and after each she would stalk away to the other side of the set or found someone to engage in conversation with. He tried speaking to her but every time he'd approach her, she'd given him the cold shoulder. It had gotten to the point where she hardly ever left her room once she got back to the hotel. Running into her during night outs with the other cast members seemed impossible to hope for. So he decided he would give her space. Allow her the time to come around, whenever that may be.

He prayed it would be soon though. He missed her dearly. Sitting in the hotel bar or even outside in the streets of Spain as he sipped his wine, didn't feel just as glorious and enjoyable as it should. He'd miss her laughter in those moments. Miss the way she'd make any simple event feel wondrous and magical. He wished she'd talk to him. Shout at him. Anything at this point. These had been the longest five days he's ever spent and he was starting to run out of patience. He needed his best friend back. He needed her.

_____________________ 

Emilia stood on the other side of the door. She knew she needed to go in. She knew there was a lot to be said but still, the feeling at the pit of her stomach gnawed at her. It made her nervous and nauseous. She lifted her fist and tapped quickly, waiting for a response. Maybe he wasn't inside. Maybe he was and he didn't want to see her. She would have surely deserved it, the way she's been shutting him out these few days. She exhaled slowly. She was starting to think of excuses to turn around and walk away but then she heard a low 'come in' from the inside.

She opened the door and peered to the left of the trailer. There he was, sitting in his couch, tablet in hand speaking to Rose.

"Who is it?" she heard a little voice say from the device.

Kit looked over his shoulder at her, his back pressed against the arm of his dark green love seat. "See for yourself." He lifted the tablet and spun the screen to face where Emilia stood.

"Emilia!" the voice squealed. "Oh my god! How are you?"

Emilia is shocked. She was not expecting any of this. She wasn't prepared for it. She closed the door behind her and looked over at Kit who had a bit of amusement in his eyes. "I'm okay, a little tired. How have you been?"

"You know, same ole. We haven't spoken in so long. I was just telling Kit, I can't wait for you guys to come back to London so we can all go for lunch or something," she says in her deep Scottish accent.

"I can't wait to come home either. I miss London. Mom's coming to visit and there's so much I need to do, I might not have the time but we’ll see." Emilia added. She wasn't sure if having lunch with them was such a good idea right now, not after what happened a few nights ago.

"Emilia, I'm not taking no for an answer. You must have lunch with us. I've missed you so much." 

Emilia stared at the red haired beauty on the screen. Looked at the way Kit stared back at this wonderful woman. He loved. He was smitten with her. She had no place in any of this. 

"I'll see what I can do. I promise." Emilia said, smiling sweetly.

"Good." Rose replied. "Kit, I have to go. I'm going to run to the shop before they close."

"Okay, love. Please be careful out there," he said.

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too." Kit replied, a bit hesitantly. 

"Okay. Later guys and Em, call me sometimes for god sake," Rose said finally.

They both laughed at that, and then the FaceTime call ended. Kit placed the tablet next to him before slowly turning to face Emilia. She was smiling at him but he could tell she was nervous.

"You're a lucky man," she began. "She loves you."

"I know." Kit replied.

She looked down at the floor awkwardly, before lifting her gaze once again to meet his. He stood up and took a seat on the arm of the couch, facing her fully. His arms crossed over his chest. His legs spread as he observed her closely.

"I've missed you," he admitted.

"I've missed you too." She's staring back at him. Calculating what to say next. She swallows hard before continuing. "I'm sorry about how we left things the other night. I was angry and afraid of how things would change between us and I lashed out at you. I shouldn't have done that."

"No, you shouldn't have." He's smiling at her. "But I understand."

"I-I just didn't know how you'd react to knowing... _that_. I don't want to complicate things between us, Kit. I don't want it to be weird. This friendship means too much to me, more than you'll ever know and I can't... I can't lose that."

"You won't," he pauses to study her before continuing. "I was shocked but I'm not going anywhere and it won't be weird, unless you make it weird. This past couples of days without you have been hell. I need my best friend, Em."

She tearing up again and it causes her to roll her eyes at how easily and often this happens around him.

He stands and opens his arms. She hesitates at first but then she's walking towards him. Taking those few steps into that place that she loves so much. He's holding her. His arms wrapped so tightly around her and his chin on her head. Her arms are around him as well, and she's sobbing a little and he allows her. He kisses the top of her hair and squeezes tighter, reminding her that he's not going anywhere.

"If ever you're feeling uncomfortable around me or just need some space, please let me know. I'll understand," he whispers against her hair.

She nods. Unable to speak past her tears.

"So, I have my best friend back?" he asked quietly.

"You never lost me."

_________________ 

They've been spending a lot more time together. Trying to make up for what they've lost or so she tells herself. He brings her lunch in her trailer and she joins him for his smoke breaks when she's available. She doesn't smoke though but he offers every time. She's become very attached to him, even more than before and he can't seem to stop gravitating towards her no matter where she is. Their friendship has never been this way. It has never been this easy going. This relaxed. This warm.

She thinks about this as they exit the ice cream parlor together. Strolling through the streets of Seville. Eating ice cream. They've been stopped by a few fans for a picture or two. Others just point and stare and carry on with their evening. Tonight those are her favorite, mainly because their ice cream is melting and Kit's complaining about it.

"I told you to get the cup."

"I wanted the waffle cone," he said as he licks dripping vanilla ice cream from his hand.

She's watching and laughing as she scoops a spoonful of pistachio ice cream with much more ease. "It's going to stain your sweater," she announces.

“Bollocks!” He pauses his licking to look over at her, “If you're quite done with your laughing, can I have a little help, please?"

“Okay. Okay. Stop being a petulant child,” she teases.

She's laughing as she hands him her cup and carefully begins rolling each sleeve to his elbows. He's looking down at her as she focuses on her task and he can't help but smile at how natural this feels. He's glad to have all this time with her again. He's glad to have her back in his life.

He gives the ice cream back to her when she's done and they continue on their stroll. Just them, in the almost empty streets of Seville, Spain. They’re surrounded by nothing but the night sky, the cool night air and beautiful buildings. They're slowly making their way back to the hotel, having conversations about nothing in particular and Emilia is trying to stifle her laughter so it doesn't echo in the emptiness. _These were magical moments he missed so much_ , he thought to himself.

____________________ 

They're standing on the balcony of her shared royal suite. It’s well after one in the morning but Kit has to have a smoke before they depart and Emilia has to join him while he does. They're standing next to each other, leaning against the balcony railing, looking out at the empty streets below and the breathtaking night sky above them.

"Why do you smoke so much?" she asks him.

He laughs before answering, “I don't know. I like it. Plus I look extremely cool with a cigarette in my hand.”

She chuckles at that before leaning in and nudging him with her shoulder. "Does Rose allow you to smoke this much at home or is it just a work thing?"

"I smoke just as much at home. Believe it or not, we actually smoke together all the time."

"Even in the house?"

"Even in the house."

There's a pause as she looks over at him. She shakes her head before saying, "I couldn't have you smoking in my house. You'd have to go outside or on the balcony. You'd ruin everything with that god awful smell."

"You don't like that I smoke?"

"No, I don't."

He turns and eyes her peculiarly. Watching her as she stares off into the night. "I smoke anywhere I want when I'm at home, even in bed."

Emilia looks over at him again. She was surprised at his confession. She tried not to think about him in bed but he knew she was. She's staring over at him when he adds, "Would _you_ allow me to smoke in bed?"

She's pushing herself away from the railing to face him. Swallowing hard at his question. _Was he actually expecting an answer?_ She's speechless. So much has happened. So many things have been said. This was dangerous territory for them. These types of conversations should be avoided.

"W-what?" she asks hesitantly.

He notices how flustered she's getting. How flushed her cheeks look even in the darkness. Even with nothing but street lights and moonlight around them. He crushes his cigarette and pushes himself off the railing. She's watching him. Waiting expectantly for what he'll say next. He turns to face her. "Would you allow me to smoke in bed?" he asks again.

She's not sure how to answer that. She's not sure she wants to. She's nervous and anxious about where this question is leading and he can see it. He's surprised he actually enjoys seeing her like this.

She swallows hard once more. Her blue green eyes wide with wonder and swimming with several emotions. He's making her nervous. Making her palms sweat and her pulse quicken. "I-I don't know. I know it's a custom for some people to smoke after sex but I don't know if I would allow you to," she says in a nervous, almost shy tone.

He laughs at her. Laughs at the shakiness in her voice. He takes a step towards her and she doesn't move. "Are you sure?" he asks. His voice thick and husky. Laced with more than mirth. It sounds lustful and dangerous. Her stomach is doing flips. Her head feeling light. He's taking another step and she can smell him now. Feel his breath on her face as he's looking down at her and she's shaking. Trembling. Quivering under his gaze. It's all too much and she looks down.

His hand finds her face, cupping her cheek. Trailing along the side slowly, sensually to her chin. Leaving nothing but warmth in its place. He gently lifts her head. Her eyes are closed, he’s waiting for her to open them and when she does, he's searching them. He's scanning every inch of her and taking in her beauty. Her wide eyes. Her olive skin. Her full lips. His breath coming in shallow and heavy. Looking for a sign that she doesn't want this as much as he does. He finds none and then his gaze falls to her lips again. He's staring hungrily and she parts them, waiting for him to lean in. He uses his thumb to trace along her bottom lip. Feeling its plumpness. Taking in its softness and she trembles beneath his touch. He sees the way her breath hitches. Closing her eyes against the feel of his finger on her lip.

A moan catches in her throat and she gasps at his slow, torturous contact.

He's leaning in and she can feel the heat of him all over. "Kit..." she whispers. It sounds like she’s begging him to kiss her or begging him to come to his senses before they do something they’ll both regret.

"Shhh," he whispers, his face just inches away.

"We shouldn't," she manages shakily.

"No, we shouldn't," he whispers against her lips. He lingers there. Making her wait for it. Their breath mixing. She can almost taste him and it's driving her crazy. Then his mouth is on hers. 

It's just a meeting of lips at first. Slow and soft. His hand is still cupping her chin, gently pulling her up to him. Closing whatever space was left between them. His mouth warm, the feel of his lips softer than she could have imagined. The stubbles of his mustache and beard, hard and rough against her face. Her hands come up to rest against his stomach, feeling the strength of his core. She's holding her breath as he kisses her, her legs unstable. Of all the ways she imagined this night going, this was not one of them. She hadn't thought it possible, yet here she was at 1:30 in the morning, pressed against this man.

His other hand comes to rest on the small of her back, as the hand on her chin moves to cup her cheek again. He's pulling her closer. Drawing her into him. Her feet shuffling against the floor as she finds a comfortable footing. Their bodies pressed together together. His lips are moving now. Slow open mouth kisses so he can taste her. His insistent mouth parting her trembling ones, sending wild tremors along her nerves. Evoking from her fiery sensations she's never felt before. She hesitates at first but then her lips are moving with his.  
She tastes sweet from the ice cream they've shared, just the way he knew she would and he groans low in his throat. Never had he thought he would be doing this with his best friend. Never had he thought he'd be doing this with Emilia. _His_ Emilia.

The groan sends a swift heat deep inside her stomach and pools a wetness between her legs. He's kissing her gently, carefully, but it wasn’t gentleness she wanted, not now, not after all this time. It's taking her everything not to grab at his neck and pull him further into her. That groan has set her body ablaze. It's the groan of a man that wants her. The groan of a man who is savoring her and it belongs to him. Her best friend. 

She pulls away suddenly. Leaving his mouth to follow her. Searching for that lost contact. She's looking up at him. His eyes wild and intense. Their breaths labored and hot against each other's face. He's still holding her and she notices her hands had made their way to his chest. Her senses slowly swimming back to her and her face becomes one of utter terror and dread.

"What are we doing?" she whispers.

He swallows hard at her question. His mouth falling open with soundless words that won't come. "I-I.." he begins but doesn't finish.

"Kit, we can't do this. We can't hurt Rose," she manages through shallow breaths.

At the mention of her name, Kit's hands falls away from her body. He's taking a step back. Two. Three. Looking at her with such shocked eyes. He can't believe he just did that. His hand goes up to cover his mouth before he's running it pensively through his brunette curls. "Em, Fuck! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

He's looking at her. Eyes filled with remorse and panic. They stand in silence, staring at each other. Replaying the last few minutes in their heads. Unconsciously, her fingers come up to her lips. They still tingle from the feel of him. She can still taste his tobacco, sweet breath on her. She wets them and takes a full breath, without meeting his gaze, she says, "I think I should go to bed."

He's nodding first. Wordlessly. "Yup," he finally says, followed by another. It sounds awkward and strained but his head is elsewhere, trying to figure out what just happened.

She looks over at him, their eyes meeting before she's walking through the balcony doors and heading straight for her room without another word. He's left out in the cold. He turns to face the darkness of the early morning. _He's really done it this time_ , he thought. “Fuck,” he mutters to himself.


	6. Chapter 6

Sleep evaded Kit that night. He somehow found himself back at his own suite having glasses of whiskey with Peter and Pilou. He hadn't planned on drinking as much as he did but as the memories of what happened with Emilia resurfaced, so too did his urge to numb the feelings of panic that came with it. The sounds of bellowing laughter and loud joking broke through the silence of the early morning. They had completely forgotten that they had work in a few hours. After one glass, Kit was encouraged by his friends to have another. And another. Two glasses had him swimming in remorse and guilt. Five glasses made him want to go back to Emilia's room to fix whatever damage had been done to their friendship. Eight glasses had him picking up his phone to call Rose and tell her everything. He almost did it. On the ninth glass he fell back in the couch, unconscious and damn near comatose, but all the while thinking of _her_.

 

He woke up three hours later, feeling the effects of his careless shenanigans. A splitting headache and stomach churning bitterness gripping at him. _What was he thinking?_ He wasn't. That was the problem. He wasn't thinking and these mistakes were to be his undoing. He got dressed as best as he could; throwing on a plain navy blue t-shirt with denim pants and setting his glasses on his face to help his hazy vision. There was no sign of Peter and Pilou anywhere, which simply meant he was late. He flung his tanned leather bag over one shoulder and hastily made his way downstairs, praying he'd make it to the bus on time.

 

The elevator doors opened to the lavishly decorated lobby area. Pieces of gold and white trimmed everything; from the painted ceilings to the large ceramic ancient looking vases that stood on different surfaces. The lobby was relatively empty this morning with the exception of a few people. He scanned the area for familiar faces and his heart nearly stopped when his eyes fell on Emilia speaking with Lena at one corner of the room. She wore a burgundy sweater with baggy jeans. Her hair had been loose and dangling around her shoulder. They hadn't noticed him at all, and before he could decide on whether to approach them or not, they began a leisurely stroll towards the cast bus that was parked in the hotel's driveway. He followed soon after, his footsteps echoing on the marble floor as he crossed the vast expanse of the beautiful room. He made his way up the steps of the white coach and nodded his greetings to the driver.

"Good morning everyone," he announced as he turned to face the passenger seats. Chorus' of 'good mornings' and 'hellos' came at him as he made his way between the rows of seats.

"You look like hell, Harrington," Peter shouted from the front of the bus.

"Thanks for leaving me," Kit responded.

A knowing laugh came from the back that belonged to none other than Pilou.

He was examining the seats as he walked down the aisle, when his eyes met with wide frighten ones. She held his gaze as he made his way down the rows and closer to where she sat. He wasn't sure if he should sit next to her. They'd almost always sit next to each other but now things felt different. So much had changed between them and he wasn't sure how to deal with it just yet.

He stopped at the empty seat next to her. Her eyes glued to his still. "May I?" he asked.

She nodded at him wordlessly, her eyes never breaking contact. He sat down and she turned her head away from him, staring at the flat screen that was hoisted at the front of the bus. Kit placed his bag in his lap and made himself comfortable. From the corner of his eyes, he could see her sneaking side glances at him, being very careful not to cross any more lines.

Ten minutes had passed without a word between them. The tension swelling and becoming unbearable. Once the bus pulled away from the hotel driveway, Kit looked over at her, noticing the way she stiffened as he did.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

"Why wouldn't I be?" her eyes hadn't left the focus of the screen she was watching.

"Em, look at me," he pleaded softly.

She slowly turned her head to him. Her eyes were filled with dejection. A look that he could match; a look he knew all too well. In that moment they shared in the sadness, the guilt, the deep unsettling regret before they both began apologizing at the same time.

"I'm sorry." They blurted and at that, their apologies turned to small chuckles. It lightened the mood a bit but slowly died down, leaving them with nothing but more awkward silence to fill the air.

Kit sighed, "About earlier…"

"We can't have this conversation here. Not now," she nodded in the direction of those around them.

He turned to observe the others; Lena was in front, an empty row separating them. Liam was to his left and seemed to be fast asleep. Everyone else had been scattered much farther away but he knew she was right. He knew this was no place to have a conversation of this nature. "Later then?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, later," she said finally before turning to face the window next to her.

He knew this was all he'd get from her until that time came. So he removed his glasses, leaned his head against headrest of his seat and closed his eyes.

 

_________________________

 

 

They had managed to slip away from the chaos, finding a section of the 'Dragonpit' to speak privately. They stood in a secluded, intimate corner of the vast arena looking space. They faced each other, sandwiched between two rough, broken walls, mere inches separating them.

She's looking up at him with big, bright eyes. Blonde hair framing her face. Her back pressed against the rough stony exterior behind her. "You were right from the beginning, if I trusted you everything would be different," she whispered.

He looked back at her, seeing the realization in her eyes. Seeing the regret and the pain that swam there. "So what now?" he asked quietly.

She looked away, deeply absorbed in her own thoughts. "I can't forget what I saw north of the wall and I can't pretend that Cersei won't take back half the country the moment I march North."

He turned his head, flashing a quick glance to where the others gathered just a few feet away, "Well it appears Tyrion's assessment was correct."

She's a little confused. Her brows slightly knitted as she tries to decipher his line of thinking.

He returned her gaze once again. "We're fucked," he said finally.

She smiles at that and he relishes in it. He's never seen her smile before. He never knew he needed it so much. He wishes he could do more of that for her. Wishes he could stay here like this, in this moment for as long as possible. Wishes they could forget everything and live in long, lazy mornings full of sweet smiles and soft eyes. He wanted that for her. He wanted that _with_ her. He returned the smile. Both of them forgetting the world existed beyond them. Both enthralled by the untouched tenderness they felt.

They're falling deeper into the magic when something pulls them from their perfect bubble and tosses them back into reality. They're looking beyond the bend of the corner, where they see Tyrion approaching. They step away from their positions, stalking across the vast area of the 'Dragonpit' to where the others are gathered.

"Cut!" the director shouts. "Good job guys! We'll pick up here in a moment. Everyone take five. Kit, Emilia, nice work."

They stood together in silence, not quite where the others are but close enough. Kit is looking down at his boots, lightly kicking the dirt. Distracting himself from the stillness that rest between them. A minute goes by with nothing being said.

"There's something on you," Emilia announces suddenly, breaking the quiet, tense build up around them.

Kit is surprised at the fact that she's the first to shatter the silence. "What?" he asked, not quite catching what she said.

"There's something on you," she repeats before lifting her hand to remove a small twig from the fur on his Northern coat. He watches her hand. The slight tremble in her fingers. She's just as nervous as he is.

"Thanks," he says with a small smile and she returns it before another fit of awkward silence engulfs them.

She turns her head to look at him. "Do you think it'll every stop being weird between us?"

Kit laughs at that. "I really hope so."

She laughs too but it's not a joyous laughter. It's crooked and wry, filled with tragedy and nerves. "That can never happen again, do you understand?"

"I know."

"We can't hurt Rose."

"I know. I'm sorry. I should never have kissed you."

"You don't need to apologize. I didn't exactly stop you. As I recall, I did kiss you back."

"Yes, you did." And then his gaze flickered to her lips. His words are heavy. Laden with so much weight behind them. How could he tell her? How could he express to her his true desires? How could he explain to her his hunger to kiss her again? That once the alcoholic fog had lifted, he could not stop thinking about her. It was wrong. He knew it. He fought against it, but it was there. Mocking him. Taunting him. A longing that still burned deep within him.

Emilia's breath hitched beneath the intensity of his stare, beneath the bluntness of his statement. A rich scarlet flush rose high in her pale cheeks. The way her breathing had changed to shallow intakes was evidence enough that her mind had wandered back to that moment as well. The moment he held her so closely. The moment his mouth had claimed hers so earnestly. It was hard not to relive it with him. She had fallen asleep thinking about it. Drifted off with his breath on her lips.

Emilia gaped at him for a moment. There was something in the way he stared back at her. Something that frightened her. Something that made her insides tremble and quiver. "Why did you?" she asked shakily.

He shifted his footing to face her. The heavy material of his overcoat gently swirling around him and sweeping over his boots. "Do you want the truth?"

She knows she'll probably regret it. The words stuck in her throat. She searched his chocolate eyes for the answers she needed. Without saying anything further, she gave a slight nod, all the while never taking her gaze away from his.

He quickly surveyed the area, checking to see the whereabouts of everyone before proceeding. "I'm not sure why I did it, honestly. We've never actually had all this time together. You're always off in another country somewhere and I'm usually stuck in Ireland and when we do see each other it's at events or hanging out with Rose or someone else. So having all this alone time with you these past couple of weeks, I don't know, it's just been very hard to keep myself from..."

"Kit, don't! Don't say it," she hissed.

"I love Rose. I do but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the urge to kiss you these past few weeks."

She didn't know what to say to that. His words were thumping loudly in her ears. They were creating waves within her, stirring up feelings she'd been fighting for so very long. This isn't supposed to be happening.

"Kit, this isn't right. You shouldn't want these things."

"I know, believe me, I know. I don't ever want to hurt Rose but..."

"No buts. We need to get a hold of this, Kit. We need to stop this before it spirals out of control."

"I think you're right."

"All this time we've been spending together, it's only making it worse. You know how I feel about you, but I'm not ready to lose my two best friends because of it. You both mean too much to me. We need - we need to put some space between us," she choked out. Her heart shattering as she said the words.

His eyebrows shot up. His face went from tense and creased to relaxed in a few seconds. He knew she was right. It had to be done. He'd grown accustomed to having her around but this was something they needed to do. He nodded stiffly. Swallowing hard against a lump at the back of his throat. "You're right. We shouldn't spend so much time together."

"Good," she said finally. "I'm glad you agree."

"Good," he repeated.

He didn't move. She didn't move either. They stood facing each other. Their eyes locked and loaded with heavy, unsaid things. 

"Okay everyone, we're picking up from where we left off. Places." the director yelled.

 

_________________________

 

It had been a slow, exhausting day.

Emilia sat in the living room area, her script in one hand and a cup of chamomile tea in the other. She's been on edge since her last conversation with Kit two days ago and she could really use something to relax her already fiery nerves. She sipped on the hot liquid, feeling the way it warmed her throat and chest and made her insides fuzzy. She skipped through the pages, searching for her lines, memorizing them as she read. Busying herself with work was the next best distraction for her. She needed something to keep her mind off him and this seemed to be doing the trick.

She skipped through her lines for her Dragonstone scene and then flipped to her final appearance of the season. Her sunflower mug nearly fell from her grip the moment she saw the details of the scene. She remembered joking about it with Kit when they first received the script but that was _before_. Now it felt like a trap. Now it felt like a nightmare. Something she couldn't bear to think about. Panic swelled in her chest. The room around her feeling smaller and conversations around her coming from Liam and Nikolaj sounding louder and louder, creating thundering chaos in her suddenly sensitive ears.

She pushed the mug onto the coffee table in front of her and headed straight for the door. Before long she was marching down the empty halls heading to the room three doors down. She knocked quickly, waiting for a response. The door flew open and Pilou greeted her.

"Is Kit here?" she asked hastily.

"Yeah I think he is," he called for him but no one answered. "He must be in his room. He's the one on the left," he said, gesturing for her to come inside.

She stepped inside the almost identical royal suite and headed straight for the closed door on the left. She tapped quickly.

"Yeah?" a voice came from inside.

"It's Emilia." There was a pause and then a faint, 'come in'. She turned the knob and opened the door, the sight before her made her knees slightly buckle. There he stood curls loose and untamed, grey sweatpants riding low, and sweat coating his completely shirtless body. She pretended to be unbothered by him, sticking to her reason for her impromptu visit. She closed the door behind her and stepped further into his room.

"Have you forgotten about this?" she said, wiggling the script in the air. 

"Forgotten about what?" his face twisting into a frown.

"The love scene, Kit! The scene where we have sex."

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all you have to say? Oh?"

"You're clearly not freaking out," he says with a dry sarcastic laugh as he removed the earphones still lodged in his ears.

"And you're not? What are we going to do?"

"There's nothing to do, Em. We have to shoot the scene. Best thing for us to do is to just close our eyes and wait for it all to be over," he laughed coldly.

"I'm not in the mood for your bloody jokes, Harrington! Things are already strange between us; do you really think this is the best time to be making jokes?"

"What do you want me to do Emilia? Tell me! We've already established that we'd be spending less time together and that's what we're doing right? This is a written script. This is our job. So what would you have me do?" He's almost shouting now. Raising his voice to levels that she's never experienced firsthand. Her mouth falls open for a quick second before a searing white rage rises up in her own bones.

"I don't know! That's what I came here to figure out but that was clearly a mistake," she spat out. She turns to leave, but just as quickly, Kit closes his fingers around her wrist and pulls her towards him. She isn't pressed against him but she's close enough to feel the heat radiating from his naked upper half. She flinched at his touch as though his hand had lit her skin ablaze. Her gaze meeting his. She's beginning to feel warm all over.

"What’s your problem?" he asked, grinding out the syllables.

She's looking down at the way he's still holding onto her wrist. The longer he has her, the more aware she becomes of his proximity and the fact that he's shirtless.

She looks up into burning eyes. "I don't want you to do anything. We'll do like you said and we'll go back to being what we are now..." She pauses, challenging him with her fierce stare, "Nothing." She pulls away from him, wheeling around and storming off. She flings his door open and makes her way to her own suite.

She could not have knocked the breath out of him more acutely than if she'd punched him in the gut. He stood there, unmoving. Simply staring at nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update this week. I had to get some work done before posting but finally here we are with Chapter 6. I really hope you like it. Thanks for still sticking with us. Thanks for all the comments and all the love. It's truly appreciated. Much love and light my little sunflowers <3
> 
> P.S. I'm hoping to get Chapter 7 to you by Friday *fingers crossed* xoxo


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm a day late but as usual I was having problems balancing work and writing. I hope you enjoy this chapter, though it's a bit long and I look forward to your feedback and comments! Thank you for taking the time to read. You all mean so much to us. Much love and light <3
> 
> P.S. I heard the news about Kit and Rose. I'm truly happy for them but I will never stop shipping him with Emilia lol For those who shared concerns about the future of the story, I will continue writing it as long as I have breath in my body and life in my bones. I will stick to the course I started so you need not worry xoxo

Spain had been good to them and depending on whom you asked, they would say it was better than good. Seeing most of the cast in one place hadn't happened since filming season one and it had been a very pleasant experience but now that time was over. They'd soon have to say their goodbyes again. They'd soon have to pack up and leave all this behind. It was bittersweet. An aching feeling that had them trapped between missing each other and relieved that the season was coming to a close. After all, they'd get to go home soon. Get to be with their families and friends again until another season would tear them from their blissful reunions and toss them seas away. 

That day, they had finally wrapped filming in Spain. Two days from now, they'd be on flights heading to different corners of the globe to shoot their final scene of the season. For the first time ever, that did not include Kit and Emilia. They would be filming together for at least two more weeks, alongside Peter, Liam, Alfie and a few others. On any other occasion this would have been exciting news for them but this was not the case. This time it meant more awkward encounters and prolonged suffering.

The night before they were due to depart the beautiful city, was a night the group made sure would be unforgettable. It was a night of celebration. A night to make one final set of fond memories together before the big split. They wanted to leave their marks on the town and stain their hearts with whatever good times they could muster up. There was no work the next day. No set to be on. No lines to recall. No cameras to face. A well-deserved break for the hardworking cast. This one had to count and they decided quite quickly that going to the club was what the night needed. Drinks. Music. Dancing. What better way to close off their time together.

 

_________________________

 

Five cabs pulled up in front of the venue called _La Luna_. They made their way past the waiting persons, forming somewhat of a line as they were led through the entrance by bodyguards the club had provided. The heaviness of the bass vibrating in the cold air, made them excited and giddy. Inside, the DJ had the crowd frenzied. Bodies jumping and rhythmically grinding against each other. Colored lights slicing the air and casting spells over drunken patrons. The group stood on a slightly elevated stage-like platform to the right of the club, guarded by low railings, rope barriers and two burly men. The night had started out quite promising. The club was pumped. The dance floor was crowded. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, everyone except Kit and Emilia.

"What's the matter?" Alfie yelled above the booming speakers. They stood at the back of the VIP section, beer in hand, as they observed the party scene unfolding in front of them. 

Kit turned to look over at his friend, a surprised look on his face, "Nothing's the matter. Why'd you ask?" he chuckled nervously.

Alfie doesn't pull his eyes away from a group of girls he spotted on the dance floor. "I don't know. You seem a little...distracted," he said bobbing lightly to the music. 

Kit stole a quick glance at the brunette in a white skin-tight dress on the other side of the VIP stage. She was animatedly wrapped up in her conversation with Jacob, Nathalie and Pilou. Laughing with her head thrown back and her hand on Nathalie's shoulder to steady herself. She was radiant and even more stunning with all the lights bouncing off her glowing skin. He took a thoughtful swig of his beer as he eyed her. "Things are a little complicated right now but nothing to worry about," he said finally. He managed a smile, an empty smile, a flat, sad thing that did not reach his eyes. He promptly pulled a cigarette from his breast pocket and turned away briefly to light it up.

 

"Are you serious?" Emilia laughed. "When did this happen?"

"The other night when we went for a drink in the bar, a man just walked right up to me and said 'Hey Euron! Go back to where you came from, you fucker!' I was genuinely stunned," Pilou managed through fits of laughter.

"What did you do?" Jacob asked.

"I raised my mug and said 'Aye'. What else was I going to do?" Pilou added.

"That's dreadful." Nathalie expressed as she suppressed a giggle.

Kit walked past the amused group. He approached the mini-bar, ordered another beer and made his way back to where Alfie stood. Emilia's eyes followed him unconsciously. They hadn't spoken a word to each other in days. _When did this become a normal thing for them?_ It was unsettling to say the least. Her feelings had complicated everything, making their friendship a complete and utter mess.

Nathalie watched Emilia as Kit sauntered by. She noticed the way her good friend had stopped laughing almost immediately once he began moving about. "What's going on with you and Kit? You seem a bit weird around each other these days," Nathalie asked, sipping on her martini.

Emilia was thrown by the sudden change in topic. Panic swelled inside her chest. Her eyes grew wide and frightened and her brows twitched higher up on her forehead. At this point, both Pilou and Jacob had stopped laughing to look at her curiously. There was a growing silence between them before Pilou cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I... I just noticed that you guys had been acting strangely around each other. Is everything alright?" Nathalie added timidly. She had seen the dread that marred her friends face and almost instantly regretted her question. 

Emilia released a subtle sigh, trying to calm herself and still her rapidly beating heart. "It's fine. We just had a bit of a disagreement. Nothing to worry about really."

"You can't let that stop you from having a good time tonight okay? It's your last night in Spain for god's sake. You need to enjoy yourself. Let loose. Have some fun," Jacob stated cheerfully, nudging her lightly with his shoulder.

"I know and you're right. I just — things are just tense right now."

"And that's exactly why you need to unwind," Pilou added.

"They're right, Em. You need to have some fun. I'm sure whatever is happening with you and Kit will blow over soon enough and you guys will be all chummy again but you can't let tonight be tainted by that. No more distractions okay?"

Her lips were tightly pressed together. She gave them a half smile and a reassuring nod. They were making a lot of sense. She knew it but she did miss him. She missed him terribly.

Peter had ordered a bottle of champagne and gestured for everyone to come closer. The leather sofas that had been positioned around all four corners of the table, were now filled with huddled bodies. He pulled his sleeves up to his elbows in preparation to gently ease the cork from the mouth of the bottle. There was a discreet popping sound followed by a crackling fizz when the champagne escaped. To commemorate their final outing together, a few toasts were made. Wet laughs and heavy shouting stirred with the blaring music as the champagne flowed through them. They leaned against each other drunkenly, resting heads on shoulders when the laughing pulled too much from their weary bodies.

"To the end of another season!" Nikolaj said, raising his glass in the air. "May we meet again as we have tonight. May our characters live on and be remembered for many years to come."

"Here! Here!" Liam shouted.

Everyone raised their glasses with him. Echoing shouts of 'ayes' and 'hooray' accompanied sounds of clinking and snickers. Emilia rested her head against Nathalie's shoulder as she laughed, golden liquid nearly spilling from her lips as another round of toasts were ushered in.

"To keeping our heads and making it to the end of season 7 alive and well!" Lena added, her glass raised high.

"Here! Here!" shouted Gwendoline.

There was another meeting of glasses and laughter. Kit was positioned almost in front of Emilia on the other side of the glass table. His drunken eyes bore into her as he took a sip of his champagne. She could feel his eyes on her and it made her absolutely nervous. She tried not to look up. She tried to avoid his fixed gaze but her own eyes betrayed her as they slowly drifted up to meet his. They stared at each other. Exchanging looks over the rim of their glasses.

"I love this song!" Gwendoline chimed in, unintentionally breaking the moment between them. She closed her eyes against the beat, swaying lightly with her hand clutching her chest. She stood up unexpectedly, making her way to the open space at the front of the VIP area. She pulled Nikolaj along with little resistance, "Dance with me," she insisted.

_I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose._

_Fire away, fire away._

Nikolaj had no fight left in him. He wrapped his arms around her waist as they rocked comically from side to side. There's a rush of adrenaline between them or maybe it was just the buzz of the alcohol. It was hard to tell which but they reveled in it. Simmered and delved into the music together.

_Ricochet, you take your aim._

_Fire away, fire away._

Soon after, Lena was dragging Jacob in the same direction. Two pairs of bodies moving and stirring in a drunken haze. They were completely unaware of scene they were creating. It was safe to say that they did not care either way.

_You shoot me down but I won't fall._

_I am titanium!_

Kit and the others are watching in amusement. A wide goofy grin plastered on his bearded face. He takes a few quick sips from his glass as he enjoys the scene in front of him. The grin quickly fades as from the corner of his eyes, he sees Pilou pulling Emilia to the dance area. She's resisting at first, struggling to sit back in the leather couch across from him but soon gives in and allows herself to be led into the open space. He notices that Nathalie is clapping and laughing, encouraging her to go with him.

Pilou is staring down at her, smiling broadly at his victory. There's a shy look on her face as she looks up at the much taller man. _What's happening here?_ They're simply swaying together at first before Pilou's hands make contact with her hips, holding her. Feeling her rhythm. He pulls her a little closer to him, the beat carrying them away. He leans in to whisper something next to her ear and she laughs. Pilou holds her hand and spins her around, her back now to him as they continue to move. He says something against her hair and she giggles again, clearly coaxing him on.

Kit feels something rising up in him. His throat bitter with bile. His chest tight with anger. There's a flicker of pain and disappointment in his eyes that he tries to blink away. He finally tears his gaze away from them unable to take the sight anymore. With one quick gulp he downs the remainder of his champagne before standing and making a beeline for the bar to order something a bit stronger.

 

Close to an hour had past when Emilia slumped in the couch next to Nathalie. Her feet ached and fatigue was starting to settle in her bones. They were right. Having fun and letting loose was the perfect distraction. She wiped at her damp forehead before running her fingers through her hair in one quick motion.

"Well you had fun," Nathalie said, a knowing smile ghosting over her lips.

"Wasn't this what you wanted?"

"No. This is what _you_ needed."

The brunette wrapped her arms around her friends shoulder, leaning in and allowing her weight to rest on her. "I'm so beat I can't even..." the words dying on her lips as she glimpsed Kit sprawled in a leather couch to the back of the VIP area.

She pushed herself away from Nathalie, supporting her weight with one hand on the plush seat as she continued to stare quizzically over her friend's shoulder.

"Go," Nathalie said firmly.

"What?"

"Go."

Emilia looked at her and she knew exactly what she meant. She stood and walked over to where he was resting. His black denim clad leg and suede boot flung over the arm of the leather love seat. His light blue long sleeved shirt out of place, exposing his well-toned stomach. She lowered herself next to the couch, kneeling on the hard, painful floor next to him. A hand found his hair, brushing back curls from his face when his eyes flew open. He pulled away from her touch, averting his gaze to stare at the ceiling.

"What was that?" he spat out angrily.

"What was what?"

"You and Pilou," he said pointedly. "You love him now?" his tone sharp and hostile.

She sighed heavily, her furrowed gaze fixed on his face. "Kit, you're drunk."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not," she said grinding out the words. She lowered her head; too ashamed to meet his eyes as the tears burned fiercely, " _I'm not_ ," she whispered, barely audible for even him to hear. She finally lifted her head, the wetness of her eyes all blinked away.

He studied her face, searching her eyes without a word. He opened his mouth, but any words of comfort were lodged painfully in his throat.

She didn't wait for him to find his tongue. "Don't move. Get some rest. I'll call a cab in a few minutes," she stood up and made her way back to Nathalie, leaving him to drift off into a drunken groggy sleep.

 

_________________________

 

They hadn't spoken since the night at the club. Emilia was almost sure he didn't remember what he'd said to her. He had gotten jealous, drank himself into a stupor and accused her of loving another man. _What gave him the right? They weren't even together._ Sure Pilou had distracted her enough for her to have fun but to love him, was an absurd thought all together. 

They had packed up and said goodbye to Spain the following night. Their paths never crossing until they were waiting in the lobby for the bus to take them to the airport; and still nothing was said between them. When they arrived in Belfast, they were checked into individual rooms at the Fitzwilliam Hotel. She was relieved to have her own space. She needed time to think, to pace and sob without the curious looks and questions from others. Each night she would return to the sweet solitude of her single quarters and unleash whatever frustrations had taunted her. It felt good to be on familiar grounds again. They had done plenty of work in Belfast. She completed her Dragonstone scene at the Titanic Studio with Kit, Liam and Peter which meant only one scene was left. 

 

_________________________

 

Finally the day they dreaded was here. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits and excited about the final converging of these two characters. The pressure would be high. The expectations even higher but Kit's main concern had rested with his best friend and how strange the scene might be for them. He entered the chamber set, wearing grey sweat pants with his 'modesty sock underneath. They had just shot the scene leading up to this point. He had knocked on the door, she had opened it and his breath had caught in his throat. He didn't know if it was the mood of the scene or the dimly lit room but she looked even more breathtaking than he was expecting. He entered her chambers and that's when they had cut the scene; he hadn't seen her since.

"Are you nervous?" Pamela asked absently as she applied his makeup.

He laughed uneasily, without confirming or denying anything.

"Don't worry. You'll do fine," she said, her voice dripping with soft, comforting undertones.

He heard movements nearby and a familiar voice. He couldn't actually move to see who it was, though he had his suspicions. He held his head as still as possible but all the while he expected to see her; his gaze occasionally drifting to his right so he could get a glimpse. 

It wasn't until they had finished with his makeup and hair that he saw her. Pamela shifted to reveal the beautiful brunette in her entirety. She wore a white silk robe; her hair still hidden by the blonde braided wig. He glanced over in her direction as her own makeup artist worked on her. He wanted to catch her eyes, reassure her with his gaze but she was otherwise occupied.

The director gestured that he needed to position himself on the chamber bed. He removed his sweat pants. His back turned to where Emilia sat. She watched him from across the room as he slid the grey material down his legs, exposing his well-toned bum and muscular back. He laid himself along the length of the bed, listening attentively to the director’s instructions before he saw her approaching. She made her way over to him, trying her best to avoid the eyes of the man who watched her.

She untied the silk belt around her waist and allowed the sleek material to slide from her shoulders. He noticed the blush that threatened her cheeks. Saw the way she made a point of looking away from him. There she stood in her immaculate form; his eyes involuntarily drinking in her bare state. She was stunning. Her perk breasts. The expanse of smooth, beautiful olive skin. Her full curved hips. He wanted to reach out and touch her and he soon got to, as she lowered herself on the bunk next to him. Her naked shoulder gliding over his arm. _How could he be unaffected by this?_ She was magnificent to the touch. 

"We want a really simple scene. We'll be focusing on your eyes and what's happening. We need you both to allow the characters to move through you. Nothing prurient. Nothing too lustful. There's an understanding between you that even though you know in some part of yourself that you shouldn’t really be doing this, you cannot not do it. I know it might be a little awkward because you guys are such good friends but just try to focus on the characters. Simple. Passionate. Easy. Okay?"

They both laughed nervously, nodding to the director that they understood what he needed of them. He gave very brief instructions on how he wanted them to be positioned initially and before long, the cameras lights were on and the production crew was in place. Kit lay beneath her; her upper body almost covering his. He saw her swallow hard and that's when she finally made eye contact with him. He could see the worry in them. The nerves that threatened to spill over.

"You okay?" he whispered with a reassuring smile.

She gave him a slight nod and a little giggle; her eyes wide and burning into his own.

"Action!" the director shouted.

Then she was on him, her mouth hot and open. Her body pressed into him. His hand automatically went to wrap around her neck and then up to cradle the side of her face. She was soft wherever he touched her; his hands slowly making its way into her blonde hair, holding her in place so his mouth could ravish her. She tasted warm and sweet, just the way she had the night he kissed her. It filled his senses, causing him to want to pour everything into her. He could feel her warm hands on his side; light and feathery. It tingled, bringing on sensations that he better not feel in these moments. She trailed her fingers lightly at the side of him, before gently gripping at his skin.

He rose to meet her eager mouth but she pulled back, forcing him to return to the soft pillows below. He wanted to taste her, wanted to explore her sweetness but didn't want to cross those lines. Not now. Not after everything.

Emilia allowed his lips to trail after her as she breathed open mouthed just inches away from his own waiting lips. She wanted to return to him, give into what they were both fighting but this was not the place. He rose a second time, desperate to mesh their mouths together but she only allowed him a slight feel; a light brush and then she was teasing him again. Breathing openly into his waiting mouth, even though her lips were eager to taste him.

And that's when he did it. He flipped her onto her back, allowing his weight to rest on her; her hands coming up to grip desperately at his sides. He used his thighs to nestle and settle between her soft legs, forcing them apart.

He was breathing into her open mouth, just as she had done, their foreheads pressed together. He allowed her to taste his breath, and then he licked her. His tongue quickly swiping through her waiting mouth and over smooth, perfect teeth. He held back the groan that threatened to slip from his throat. He needed more of her. Gently he gripped her back with one hand and pulled her up, bringing her higher on the pillows below her. His lower half now completely pressing against her core. He felt a undeniable heat there. A heat that was impossible to ignore and he kissed her, deeply.

She brought a hand to his face. Lightly touching the rough stubble at the side and it brought a low moan from her throat that filled his mouth. Then he withdrew, leaving her to stare at him; their heavy breathing mixed in the silence of the room. He looked down at her, eyes wide. Pupils dilated and she saw something. Something that was not of his character. Something that was beyond the script and the lines. Her eyebrows became furrowed, creased with worry and fear.

He reassuringly stroked the side of her face with his thumb as he looked deeply into blue green eyes. She was beautiful, so breathtaking. How could he feel these things now? Now as he kissed her in front of all these cameras? Now that he was pretending to make love to her? 

He captured her lips once again. The kiss more passionate and forceful than before. He poured into her. His tongue lightly brushing and teasing her lips but never entering her warm, welcoming mouth. Her hand came up to lightly drape around his neck, her fingers brushing against the skin of his back. They trailed delicately to his cheek again; cupping it lightly. 

The cameras were fading into nothing. The labored breaths and low pants were becoming harder to ignore. It evoked something in her. Evoked things that made her wish this was real. She wondered if it had the same effect on him. She wondered if he felt anything in these moments. If he stirred and yearned the way she had and then she got her answer. It was unmistakable. Indisputable and very define. He was hard; hard and pressed right against her naked core.

 

That night, they had dinner together. Peter called in the reservations at the hotel bar and they all made their way downstairs to dine and have a few drinks. Emilia and Nathalie walked hand in hand as they entered the restaurant, followed by Kit, Peter, Jacob and Liam. 

"Wasn't it weird?" Nathalie asked when they were seated.

Emilia laughed at that. She looked over at Kit who didn't say anything. He seemed to be waiting to hear what her response would be. "It was weird; very weird and truly awkward. I was cringing the entire time," Emilia said through fits of giggles.

"You were?" Kit asked flatly. The table went silent, looking between the two curiously.

Emilia's gaze shot to him. She was surprised at his sudden challenge. One eyebrow perfectly arched and a light tint of blush settling on her face, she pushed back, "Yes. I was." He didn't look away from her. His eyes locked onto hers, unsmiling and unwavering. It wasn't like him to push in this way. It was attractive, definitely; attractive and dangerous. It caused a light flipping of her stomach and a familiar heat to sweep over her core. Her clit twitched at the darkness that swam in his eyes and she squeezed her thighs together involuntarily; reining in her body’s betrayal.

"Oh-kay," Peter said awkwardly, sensing the tension between the pair.

"Yeah, I'm about ready to order," Liam laughed nervously as he picked up his menu.

The rest of dinner had been spent eating and sharing conversations over glasses of wine. Bickering and teasing each other about their own love scene and the strangeness of it all. Kit and Emilia and had managed to remain amicable, not creating anymore tense moments for the others to bear.

 

When Emilia got back to her room, a wave of relief washed over her. She was happy to be away from prying eyes. She wanted to relax. She wanted to unwind. She wasted no time in shedding her clothes and wrapping herself in the soft warmth of her complimentary robe and slippers. She entered the marble tiled bathroom and drew herself a well needed bath. Already anticipating the supple water that would soothe her mind and massage her aching joints. She was just about to step into the tub when there was a knock on her door.

She exited the bathroom, trying her best to mask the irritated look for whoever was outside. There was another rushed rap at the door before she got to it. "I'm coming," she said impatiently. She turned the golden knob and pulled. It opened to a near breathless Kit standing in the entrance.

She drew in her breath sharply at the sight of him. "Kit," she said a little confused.

Before she could ask what had brought him here, he was stepping through the entrance, stalking hungrily towards her. She was unable to move; unable to protest before he was nudging the door shut with his foot and grabbing her at the waist. He pulled her to him, cupping her cheek as he planted his lips on hers. Her soft, plump mouth pressed against his firmly. 

At first, her brain slowed, unable to register what was happening. Her hands in the air, completely surprised as his lips moved against hers languidly. Her lagging mind somehow managing to form the coherent thought that perhaps this was a bad idea. The feel of him against her and the need for him to be close was what caused her to abandon those thoughts and this time she didn't stop him. This time she gripped at his shoulders, gathering his shirt and pulling him flush against her.

His tongue was begging for entrance. He slowly brushed the tip against her lips and she wasted no time in parting them and letting him in. He swiped inside slowly. Tasting her. Savoring her and then she moaned, wrapping her arms around his neck, leaving no space for anything.

Both his hands went to her hips, gripping gently at first through the soft material of her bathrobe and then squeezing harder, pulling her in. She pushed against him in return, feeling his hardened cock through the layers between them. There was no time for gentleness. No time for pleasantries. There was only want; desperate and hasty want. 

He pushed her further into the room, never breaking the kiss. They moved across the carpeted floor, gripping at each other, clutching at clothing when her ass hit the side of her couch. Kit reached around to grab at the flesh, squeezing both cheeks in his hands roughly. He broke the kiss momentarily to place wet open kisses along the side of her neck.

She gasped and moaned loudly, her throat raw and open, full of lust and pleasure. He bit down hard on the sensitive skin, then licked and soothed the flesh beneath. "Fuck," she muttered huskily as she clung to the side of his shirt, throwing her head back, giving him more access to work.

His hands came up to the belt of her robe, loosening it as his lips slowly made its way back to her open, panting mouth. He captured them in another kiss just as one hand slid in through the parted flaps, stroking the sensitive, bare flesh of her stomach and side. She moaned into his mouth. Moaned so loudly and erratically, he wrestled with the urge to throw her on the couch and pound her into tomorrow. 

He broke the kiss once more and she whimpered at the loss of contact. "Shhh!" he whispered against the shell of her ear, before he gently raked his teeth over the soft earlobe.

She bit down on her bottom lip; willing herself to keep quiet, swallowing the moans clawing at her throat. She shut her eyes tightly against the sensation of his hand on her bare skin, moving tortuously slow up to her breast and the feel of his hot breath against her ear. She released a small cry before her voice quivered with a low, raspy, "I… I can't."

"You have to," he whispered against her neck as he peppered small kisses at the reddening bite mark he left. His hand met her breast and he squeezed gently. Massaging his rough palm against her hard, sensitive nipple. She squirmed against him. Arching her back into his touch. His pants were uncomfortably tight now. The swell of his cock, painfully rubbing against his zipper. He took her hand away from clutching at his shirt and guided it to the button of his pants, urging her to release him.

She gripped at the waist of his jeans, allowing her fingers to brush over the bare flesh of his stomach. He stopped the ministration of kisses to watch her hand. They were both glancing between their bodies, their sweaty foreheads pressed together. She ran a single finger over the bulge in his jeans and his cock twitched. She did it a few times before his breathing had become heavy and erratic. Her finger replaced her palm as she earnestly rubbed it against him. He released a low, painful groan. "Em," he whispered hoarsely.

She looked up into his darkened, lust filled eyes and gripped at his cock through the denim of his pants. 

"I want to fuck you so badly," he said shakily, his breath hot and heavy against her face and she gasped at his words.

"Please," she moaned out.

He gripped at her leg. His thumb squeezing her inner thigh as he gently pushed her onto the arm of the couch. He was spreading her wide and positioning himself between her legs when his fingers brushed against damp curls. _She wasn't wearing any underwear. _He could smell her. Smell the heady, tangy scent of her juices and his mouth watered at the thought of being able to taste her but not now. Right now, he needed to be in her. He needed to be buried so deep inside her slick heat that they would not be able to tell where he ended and she began.__

____

__She was working at his jeans, unfastening his belt when his mouth latched onto hers again. He kissed her harder, nipping at her swollen lips with his teeth, sweeping his tongue deep into her mouth. The kiss became passionate and unyielding. Tongues gliding over each other, exploring and dancing together. She was fighting with the button on his pants when there was a faint knock at the door._ _

The kissing ceased. Their hands and movements stopped. They waited to see if they were mistaken in what they heard until there was a low call from outside. They sprung apart. Kit closing his belt and running his hands through his hair. Emilia readjusting her robe and checking the reflection of her flushed face. She looked back at him worriedly as she made her way to the door.

"Who is it?" she asked, before opening it.

__"It's me Emilia. It's Nathalie."_ _

__"Oh," she reached for the knob, still confused as to why she'd be here at this hour._ _

__Once the door opened, the younger woman walked in. "I'm sorry to bother you this late. I tried calling but you weren't answering. Devon called and he wants to get back together, we had a huge argument and..." she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Kit sitting on the couch._ _

__"Kit, I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything," Nathalie said, looking between Kit and the brunette, who was still standing at the open door._ _

__"No, you're not interrupting anything. I'll leave you girls to it," he said as he pushed himself from the couch and made his way to the door where Emilia still stood._ _

__"Kit," Emilia began but was silenced by a quick kiss that he placed on the top of her head. She closed her eyes, enjoying the brief contact._ _

__"It's okay love, we'll talk later," he whispered as he took the door from her hand and waved over at Nathalie who was now sitting on the couch. She waved back at him, a small smile on her lips._ _

__He closed the door gently, leaving the two women to talk. Emilia exhaled heavily, steadying herself before turning to look at Nathalie._ _

"I'm _so_ sorry," a look of deep regret etched on her face.

__She laughed. "It's okay. Don't apologize. We were just...talking," she said as she settled on the couch next to her friend. "Now tell me what happened with Devon."_ _


	8. Chapter 8

Emilia hadn't gotten much sleep that night. Her comforter damp with perspiration from the anxiety and troubled dilemma she wrestled with. She tossed and turned well into the early morning thinking about him; thinking about what had nearly come to pass. Her sleep had evaded her since she came to bed. No matter how hard she tried, no matter the remedy of counting sheep or warm milk; it was simply not to be. Her mind was a whirlwind; chaotic and unstable. Her thoughts plaguing her, threatening to consume her whole. _What were they thinking? How could they even think for a minute that that was okay?_

Feeling disgruntled and uneasy, she sat up to flip her sweat stained pillow on the other side; releasing a heavy puff of air as she flung her head back against its softness. She wasn't going to be getting any rest soon and the burning between her legs only seemed to be getting worse with each agonizing moment. She lowered a trembling hand to examine the state of her underwear, knowing full well what she'd find. She gasped immediately at the contact, her hardened nub swollen and sensitive against her touch. She slowly trailed a finger against the material, down to her opening; her breath hitching at the ministration. Just as she expected; her hand came away moist and slick, her undies sopping wet.

She had been that way since he left her. Concentrating during her talk with Nathalie last night had been an exercise in futility. She found her mind drifting to him and on quite a few occasions she had caught her fists clenching the cushions of the couch or squirming against it uncomfortably. Even though she had her bath when Nathalie left, her body still sought a release. The tension building in the pit of her stomach and her core, leaving her warm and needy.

She rolled her hips unconsciously, seeking friction against the dense air. She pushed the thoughts of him away. She could take care of herself. He wasn't a necessity to her release; trying to convince herself of what little she knew. She turned on her side, facing the nightstand and the digital clock screaming 1:03 AM in bright neon colours. She shut her eyes tightly against the sensations that ran through her, bringing her knees a bit closer to her chest and squeezing her legs together; she focused on controlling her breathing. With every deep inhale, she took in another whiff of her essence. It was beginning to fill the room and becoming harder to ignore. _Damn that Kit Harrington for doing this to her._ She exhaled loudly, feeling irritated and defeated as she came to terms with what she needed to do. The upside was she could possibly get some sleep once she was through.

Shaky fingers trailed over silk material as she hiked up her nightgown to her hips. Her fingers brushed over her soft thighs, slowly making their way to where she ached the most.

_She wouldn't think of him. She wouldn't think of him._

She said those words to herself repeatedly as her hand made contact with her clit through the thin material of her cotton panties. She drew in a sharp breath, never expecting the jolting sensation that coursed through her. She applied a gentle pressure there, releasing a low guttural moan at the sweet pleasure. She repeated the action a few more times, allowing her body to grow accustomed to the feel. Her hand drifted lower, cupping her entire sex against her palm; she was incredibly wet and incredibly turned on. Her nipples rising to painful attention in the cool air of the night.

_She wouldn't think of him. She wouldn't think of him._

Her hips began a slow, painful roll. Her palm pressing harder against her cunt, giving her the beautiful friction she needed. She shut her eyes against the feeling of the pressure that was building in her core. Her teeth capturing her bottom lip, threatening to draw blood at the force she bit down with. Her hand left her core then, needing more than what her palm could give. Determined fingers slid beneath the band of her underwear, exposing her to the truth of her wetness. _He did that to her. He was the cause of that._ A new rush of arousal took her over at the thought; her core seeping additional liquid.

_She wouldn't think of him. She wouldn't think of him._

Her middle finger toyed with her flooded entrance, making bashful, shameful wet noises as she let less than an inch enter and exit her repeatedly. She was gasping now, releasing the clutched sheets with her other hand and finding the breast he had so skillfully massaged earlier. A flood of memories hit her all at once. The feel of his hard, heavy member pressed against her core that day on set. The aggressive way he had claimed her when he visited her room last night. The consuming heat of his kisses against her neck. It was all coming back to her and she needed more. Her fingers left her opening and found her sensitive clit. She rubbed it erratically, needing her release desperately while the memories and sensation of him were still fresh. She turned her face into her pillow, creating muffled whimpers and moans as her fingers made clumsy circles around her knob. Clutching and pinching at her nipple as she approached sweet release. She was grinding into her fingers now, hips slightly lifted from the bed; finding more friction, applying more pressure. And when her imagination took her to that place where he was entering her, pounding madly into her swollen, aching cunt; she fell into the blackness.

_She wouldn't think of him. She wouldn't think of him._

"Kit!" she screamed against her pillows. The pleasure was blinding; her body tensed and then erupted in shivers and jolts; her breathing loud and heavy as she slowly came down from her euphoric peak. She lay in bed, sweat coating her skin, breath labored and limbs sprawled. She shook her head as the memories of him faded and she came back to herself. _What was this madness?_ she thought, before the spent sleep took her over.

────────────────

The following day, Emilia woke up feeling groggy and tired from her late night but notably relaxed and loose. She wasn't needed on set until later that afternoon and thought she might head to the restaurant dining area to enjoy their complimentary breakfast buffet. Ordering room service would have just allowed her more alone time with her thoughts and she wasn't in the mood to deal with them right now. She needed to get out and embrace the outside world, take in some fresh air; maybe even go for a walk before heading to work. She showered and got dressed, throwing on a pair of sunglasses to mask her identity a bit, an over-sized blue sweater and a pair of blue jeans.

She arrived at the dining area when it had started to clear out; most persons heading off to enjoy the day's activities. She was happy about that, happy that she wouldn't have much of an audience while she ate. She grabbed an empty plate from the stack and surveyed the assortment of food laid out on the table before her. She took up a bagel, three strips of bacon and was about to reach for a cup of blueberry yogurt when she was interrupted.

"I hear their strawberry muffins are to die for," the voice said.

Emilia looked to her left and saw a smiling Kit clutching a muffin in one hand and his breakfast plate in the other. She shook her head slightly as she continued to reach for her yogurt, a faint smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She turned to lock eyes with him and hesitantly took the muffin from his outstretched hand, "Is that what they're saying?" her eyebrow rose in an arch, a smirk playing on her lips.

"Well, that and that we've taken over their hotel yet again but who're they kidding? They love us," he said jokingly.

She laughed, not quite returning his gaze anymore.

She was nervous and it was evident in the way her eyes avoided his and the way her smile and hands slightly trembled. 

"Have breakfast with me?" he asked timidly. He knew there was a huge chance she would decline but he asked any way.

Her eyes went wide and filled with panic, "Kit, I don't think that's a good idea."

"It's just breakfast. I promise I won't attack you again," he reassured her.

She tried to fight a smile that threatened to betray her steely façade. She stared at her plate for a moment, considering his invitation carefully, "Okay," she said finally and allowed him to lead her to a table at the back of the room. They took their seats and he watched as she removed her glasses and got settled.

She looked up at him as she peeled away the cover of her yogurt; he was smiling at her; a loving smile with twinkly eyes. Her brows slowly knitted together in confusion at his sudden display of affection, "What is it?" she asked warily.

"Nothing," he said quickly, picking up his own muffin to take a bite.

"You're being weird," she said quizzically, still staring over at him.

"Am I?"

"Kit."

"Okay, fine. It's just nice to see you."

Emilia was suspicious; suspicious and nervous of what all of this meant for them; of how normal and domestic things felt, especially after last night.

"Well, it's nice to see you too," she said, smiling gingerly.

They ate in silence for a while, occasionally sneaking glances when the other wasn't looking; never admitting outwardly that they missed being around each other after all this time apart. That felt like too much to add to the swell of tension between them and they rather not take that chance.

She picked up her bagel, spreading a small amount of cream cheese evenly across the surface.

"How was the muffin?" he asked, peering at her curiously from across the table.

Emilia took a bite of her bagel before replying, "It was really good. I see why you recommended it," she didn't meet his eyes but instead pretended to examine the bagel in her hand.

"I knew you'd like it, I tried it the last time we were here and I was..."

"What are we doing, Kit?" she asked hastily, as she chewed on her bagel; her eyes suddenly meeting his.

"We're enjoying this delicious breakfast together," he said, cutting into his sausage without making eye contact.

"Kit," she said pleadingly. 

He ceased the cutting, carefully placing his knife and fork at either sides of his plate before looking at her across the table.

"Last night...," she began.

"What about it?"

"What do you mean what about it? Have you forgotten?" she asked with a hint of irritation.

Kit sighed, "Believe me Em, I couldn't if I tried. It's all I've been able to think about since it happened."

Emilia didn't say anything to that. She swallowed hard, lowering her gaze to the table; her stomach doing little flips at his confession. "That was crazy," she whispered, more to herself than to the man sitting across from her.

"Definitely," he agreed.

"We were out of control."

"Completely," he added stiffly, barely blinking.

“It was totally inappropriate.”

She noticed that he hadn't responded to that. He resumed eating as if her words had not reached his ears, as if what she said had not been in accordance with his own beliefs; that made her worry. This was a dangerous game they were playing; a game of desire, a game of lust. Kit was all those things for her and so much more but she was his prisoner, chained and locked by forbidden glances and stolen kisses.

After breakfast she had mentioned that she wanted to take a walk and he had asked if he could join her. She should have said no, for the mere fact that not 10 hours ago they had been on the brink of making the biggest mistake of their lives. She had eventually said yes and he had gone back to his room to get his camera, returning with the goofiest smile she had ever seen on him. It made her insides swell at the thought that spending time with her would do that to him.

They strolled casually on grey brick roads, through a valley of tall trees; magnificent and grand. There was no need for much conversation now, just them enjoying and appreciating the scenes before them. He had made several stops along the walk to take quick shots of whatever had caught his attention and she watched him as he did. This was something he loved doing, something he was good at. She had seen some of his work; seen the life he captured in all of them and it made her love him even more. 

Of course, it was just like her to fall in love with someone she could not have; someone who would never be hers. It ached her. It sickened her. She tried not to think about it. Tried to push her thoughts away with the images of the things they past but they mocked her all the same.

She walked ahead now, so consumed by her internal battle and her bantering thoughts; she didn't realize Kit had fallen behind. He’s capturing pictures of a chapel structure, before he turned back to where she strolled. He noticed that she'd been lost in thought, engrossed in her own little world and he couldn't help but think about how awe-inspiring she looked against the chapel and the bare trees behind her. He lifted the camera and snapped a few shots and was left gobsmacked at how amazing they looked. She was still slowly strolling away and he lifted the camera again to capture another one when she turned to face him. He stilled at being caught but managed to take the shot anyway. 

“Kit, what are you doing?” she asked nervously.

“What does it look like I’m doing? Don’t move,” he said.

“Kit! Stop!”

“Can you relax?” he added, camera still raised to his face.

She’s blushing furiously, her cheeks flushing a dark shade of pink against smooth olive skin. Her face felt especially warm and she suddenly felt awkward and demure; she even went as far as to hide her rosy features behind her slim fingers.

Kit is laughing at her behind the camera; looking at her cringe and fidget under his watchful eyes. “Just relax, Em,” he said a little softer this time.

She removed her shaky hands from her face and watched him from a distance. She was feeling uncomfortable and shy. Her gaze dropping occasionally to the brick beneath her feet; she couldn't bring herself to look back up at him.

“Okay Miss Wallflower, I’m done now,” he said jokingly as he started strolling over to her. His eyes glued to his camera.

“Shut up,” she said bashfully.

He handed her the camera without a word and she looked down. Her breath catching in her throat and her eyes grew slightly teary as she caught a glimpse of a photo of herself.

“That’s my favorite,” he whispered next to her.

He’s so close; she can feel the heat of his breath against her cheek. “Oh, Kit. It’s beautiful,” she said; her voice filled with watery emotions.

He came up closer behind her, his front almost pressed into her back as he navigated through the camera still in her hand; showing her the ones he loved and laughing with her at the ones that looked weird.

For a moment they forgot they were standing in the middle of Belfast, surrounded by pedestrians. For a moment, it was just them in their own space filled with gentle smiles and soft laughter; hands touching and breath mixing. The door shut on everything and everyone that was not them; the silly boy and the naïve girl.

────────────────

They arrived on set together that afternoon. There was no filming to be done today. They had a final meeting, before departure information was given for their flights back home. They’d have three more days in Belfast; three more days to enjoy the hotel and its surroundings then they would be sent back to their families and friends.

“We have goody bags on your left with some things I know some of you will love – I’m talking to you Emilia," the producer said with a big grin on his bearded face, "and refreshments on your right."

Emilia clapped excitedly at that, “That means there’s wine!” her voice higher than usual.

Everyone laughed. She had been sitting in Kit’s lap for a few minutes now. He had dragged her unto it during one of their more playful fights and she hadn’t bothered to move. They settled into a kind of comfortable state. Her weight mostly resting on his left leg, and his hand sprawled close to the hem of her fitted skirt.

“I want to thank everyone for all the work you’ve put in these past few months; without your blood, sweat and tears none of this would be possible. Thanks for letting us lead you into creating the vision we saw. Thanks for trusting us with your abilities and your gifts. It’s been a great pleasure working alongside all of you for another amazing season and I can’t wait to see where this takes us,” the producer added as rounds of cheers and whistles chimed in. “So hang with us a bit; Have some drinks; Share some laughs; and we’ll see you in few months for season 8,” he ended with his hand raised above his head in a little clap.

“Are you staying?” Kit whispered against the back of her head.

She spun around at the feel of his breath. “Why?” she asked, her brows coming together slowly.

His gaze dropped to her lap before he released a small chuckle with the shake of his head. “So I'm not allowed to ask you questions now? I really just wanted to know,” his eyes sparkled with mischief; one corner of his mouth sliding upwards.

“Stop that; and yes I am,” she said, quickly turning her head away from him.

A moment of quiet heaviness had passed between them before he engaged her again, “I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not,” her gaze still averted from his face, as she stared at the people a few feet away.

“No, I’m not.”

She turned her head once again, her eyes meeting his defiant ones. He held it, allowing her to see the truth that rattled her; that seared deep into her soul; leaving its deadly mark.

His phone rang then, breaking the intense energy between them. He dipped into his pocket, retrieving the device. He looked at the screen and looked back at Emilia. He said nothing. He did nothing. She didn't need to ask, she knew who it was. It was written all over his panic stricken face.

"Answer," she said flatly, raising up from his lap and walking away to the other side of the room where the others had gathered, having cups of drinks and laughs.

He watched her. The rigidity in her shoulders, the urgency in her steps as she drifted further and further away; leaving him spinning, the phone becoming louder and louder in his ears. He tapped on the screen and spun around in the other direction, exiting the room as he answered.

"Hey sweetie, what's up?" he said into the phone.

 

It had been almost half an hour before she spotted him again. When he returned, she was speaking with Alfie and the others. He sauntered over to the group, his face not as cheerful as it had been a few moments ago. She noticed the way he quietly blended into the mass of them without making his presence known. She sneaked glances in his direction every now and then but he never seemed to notice. After everything that had taken place with them recently, she knew something was wrong; this was not like him. He stood not 5 feet from her but made no attempt to approach her in any way. He wouldn't even meet her eyes and this time it wasn't intentional; this time he felt miles away. His mind completely muddled with whatever his phone call had been about.

"Two days from now, we'll all be back home. Can you believe it? The time went by so fast," Alfie said to the group, red cup in hand.

"I know what you mean, but god I can't wait to see my daughter. The time's going and I'm missing out on all her special little moments," Peter added.

"Well soon enough you'll be back with her; I'll be able to go home to my beloved and Kit will be with Rose, the rest of you will go back to cuddling with your cats and dogs for comfort," Alfie said finally, a laugh ringing out at the end.

There was a pang in Emilia's chest at the joke. She knew Alfie wasn't trying to be mean and though the others laughed, she couldn't help but feel jealous at the thought that she would no longer have Kit all to herself. He'd go back to Rose and she'd indeed head back to her empty home, alone. She smiled amidst the chuckling mass, her gaze falling every now and then to hide the hurt in her eyes. It wasn't until she lifted her head from one of her moments did she realize Kit was staring at her. He must have seen that what Alfie had said affected her.

His eyes bore holes into her; scanning her face for any sign that something was wrong. She forced a smile in his direction but he never smiled back, he just looked at her; almost never blinking. That's when she realized what else was swimming there. She stared back at him, searching his eyes for what she felt was hidden and she found it. It was desire; dark and deep.

Their gaze had been colliding into each other and she wondered how everyone hadn't seen them staring so lustfully. It was wrong on so many levels but deep down she didn't care; deep down, there existed something selfish and raw about what she felt for him; something that was slowly making its way to the surface as he looked at her.

His penetrating chocolaty gaze held hers. He knew. He knew what she was thinking. He knew that she would much rather have him fucking her senseless than standing here in the midst of everyone trying to make small talk, pretending his mere presence wasn't driving her to her wits' end. Feeling overwhelmed by this sudden rush of arousal, heat began creeping up her neck into her cheeks; her stomach doing somersaults; her pulse racing; her heart pounding against her ribcage so hard.

Awareness and heat crackling between them; his eyes holding hers with such frightening intensity, she thought he could devour her with one smoldering touch.

"Actually I think I'm going to head out now," Liam announced, his voice tearing at the heated moment between them; snapping them from their passionate gaze.

"Yeah, I think Em and I are going to call it an evening as well," Kit quickly added.

"Come on guys, it's not even 7 yet?" Alfie pleaded.

"They're exhausted Alfie. Let them go," Nathalie said.

Emilia was surprised at Kit's announcement but said nothing of it. _What was he planning?_

────────────────

They had left with Liam and Peter soon after. The four of them catching a cab together and heading back to the hotel. They exited the elevator onto the sixth floor; Kit walking Emilia to her room slowly, anxiously. They hadn't said anything to each other since they left the studio and she was beginning to catch nerves.

She opened her room door and stepped in with Kit just behind her in the doorway. He didn't follow. They stood in silence, not quite knowing that to say to each other; the density in the air building up around them.

Kit stood in the entrance nervously. He leaned against the frame, his forehead pressed into it slightly before he pushed himself away.

"What now?" Emilia asked.

"Now we say goodnight," Kit added softly, a small grin tugging at his lips.

"Goodnight," she echoed, her hands gripping the door handle.

"Goodnight," he replied, not quite moving. There's a second of pensive silence before he says seriously, "I can't do this anymore. I can't allow this to happen. You understand that right?" Kit said earnestly.

"I know," Emilia nodded quickly.

"And last night, last night can never happen again. We were crazy to think it could," he added, a little rushed.

"I know," she repeated.

He paused his declarations, staring at her before exhaling a heavy breath, "I love her you know?" he said flatly, a bit of sadness hanging on to every word.

"I know, I do too," she added.

In one swift movement he was throwing his goody bag at her door on the carpeted floor and they were flying towards each other; pulled together magnetically. She flung the door closed in the same breath, allowing him to grab her and cup her cheeks with both hands, meshing their mouths instantly.

They moaned upon contact, open mouths meeting, hot and rushed; teeth and lips battling with each other, unable to get enough. His tongue gliding between her waiting lips so easily, taking him in; allowing him to delve deeper and deeper into her sweetness. She grabbed at the sides of his shirt, when his tongue met hers; tasting each other, taking turns sucking each other into their hungry mouths. 

The sounds of needy gasps and moans could be heard bouncing off the walls. He grabbed at her shirt, pulling it apart; buttons flying everywhere. He sunk his teeth into her shoulder the instant he pushed the smooth fabric down her arms and she nearly screamed at the intensity of it; instead she sunk her nails into his side through the material of his shirt, releasing a high pitched squeal; trying so hard to control herself.

His mouth began trailing upwards, sucking and kissing at the skin of her neck, leaving her breathless and gasping. His greedy hands found their way around her back, undoing her bra and pulling it off her.

Two perfect breasts spilled from its cups, pink nipples alive and erect. He paused to stare at them hungrily and she watched him as he did, waiting impatiently for him to claim them. The ache between her legs throbbing at the growing need to have his mouth on her; she began subtly moving her hips, grinding against nothing.

"Please," she begged wantonly.

His eyes flew up to hers and he leaned in and sucked a nipple into his mouth. She moaned loudly; unable to stop the raw, erotic sound from making its way past gasping lips.

He sucked ravenously at the hardened peak; unable to stop the need that was erupting from him; making her pleasure limbo between that rough, painful but sweet place she loved. She grabbed at his silky curls, cradling his head in her hands, holding him in place. She could cum from this alone. She could cum from just having his mouth on her breasts. She hoped she didn't. There was so much more to do, so much more pleasure to be felt and explored.

He pulled away from the nipple, releasing it with a pop before grabbing the other with hungry lips.

"Kit," she gasped out uncontrollably.

His hands went for the skirt she wore, hiking it up to her hips as he continued to ravish the nipple with his mouth; his tongue curling around it, shooting a dazzle of sensation through her. She continued holding him, her hands almost forcing him against her sensitive, aching nipple. His teeth raked against it and her knees buckled. He stood from his bent position, reclaiming her mouth with his; swollen needy lips being sucked eagerly into his mouth, tongue sliding and tangling with hers. His arms circled her waist, pulling her flush against him; her sopping core pressed against his jeans covered cock.

She's leading them blindly into her bedroom; walking backward, still kissing, and unable to break the contact. They didn’t make it to the bed, her back colliding with the wall next to it; shaking the bedside table and the lamp on top. She reached for the belt of his pants, undoing it hastily and unbuttoning his tight denim with ease. Her hand sliding into his jeans before it reached what she needed. 

Shaky fingers gently gripped pulsating, hot flesh. He released a deep groan at the contact of her cold hand on his member, pulling his mouth away from hers to look at the way she gingerly removed him from his denim prison. He's hanging over the parted opening of his zipper, when her hand comes up to her mouth to lick at her palm.

He watched her lustfully as her fingers closed around him, encircling his cock. She began pumping him; his hips moving on its own accord, slowly moving in and out of her slick fist. His head flew back, as a husky moan escaped his lips.

"I'll cum if you keep doing that," he said dryly.

She didn't say anything, but met his eyes with dark, raw lust. She caught the corner of her swollen lips between her teeth, looking down at his cock hungrily and he nearly lost it.

With one final pump, he pulled himself from her before falling to knees; his hands reaching up to pull at her silk underwear, allowing them to glide down her legs slowly; his eyes never leaving hers. She stepped out of the delicate fabric and that's when he realized she still wore her heels. His hands gripped at her calves, gently urging them apart and she gasped above him.

Her scent began filling the room; his eyes making contact with low wet curls and a pink dripping cunt. He's staring at it before his index finger goes up to test her wetness. He slowly swiped it through her fleshy folds, eliciting a loud gutty moan and a buck of her hips. His finger came to finally make contact with a hard nub and he held it there against the bundle of nerve.

"You're so fucking wet," he said hoarsely.

His finger doing a low, steady jerk against her clit. She gasped louder, her hips gently grinding against the intrusive finger.

"You've been thinking about me fucking you all day haven't you?"

"Mhmm," she replied, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she continued to buck against the finger on her clit.

"I know. This says it all," his other hand went for the discarded underwear next to him, clutching it in his fist and bringing it to his nostrils for a full sniff. "You smell so tasty. I could eat you whole," he said shamelessly.

A bright tint of pink rose to her cheeks as she watched him. Her face and body feeling warmer and warmer. He was driving her crazy and he knew it; making her wait for it, making her want it more than she could imagine. "Kit, I need..." she began to whisper.

"Did you touch yourself last night?" he asked suddenly, cutting off her request.

Her eyes went wide, as if she wasn't embarrassed enough; embarrassed that she wanted him this badly; embarrassed that she couldn't wait anymore. "Kit," she whispered again.

"I love it when you say my name like that," he said as his finger left her clit and slowly slid through her wetness to her opening. "I know you did, you know why? Cause I couldn't help myself either. You left me with a raging hard on. I had to take care of it," his finger slowly making its way back up to her clit, collecting her slick wetness as he did. 

His removed his finger then and she whimpered at the loss of contact, her legs buckling. He lifted his finger to his face, observing the liquid that stained it before taking the single digit between his lips. She watched him from beneath hooded eyes as his hungry mouth, licked and sucked at his finger; tasting her. Her hips slowly, rolling against the air.

"Fuck," she moaned, low in her throat.

"Mmm! Fuck indeed. You are exquisite," he said, his eyes shut against the flavor of her on his tongue. "May I have a taste?" he asked, his eyes opened to lock with hers.

"Yes!" she screamed as his tongue never bothered to wait for a response but dipped in between her folds instantly; his rough hands holding her thighs apart, giving him better access. 

He licked her slowly from opening to clit, once; twice; three times and just as she grabbed at his head so she could fuck his mouth properly, he stood up. He hastily pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed at her thighs; his hands going to her ass, gripping it and squeezing as he lifted her from the ground, urging her to wrap her legs around his waist. "I need you now," he said gruffly.

She gasped at the quickness of it, her arms wrapping around his neck for support, as she was hoisted in the air; her back pressed into the wall next to her perfectly available bed.

One hand went to secure her waist, holding her against him; while the other held his cock, positioning himself at her opening. He rubbed the head against her; coating it in her wetness, teasing her; making her push down against it and then he pushed into her simultaneously. Slow and deep; so intense he couldn't move once he was fully sheathed. They both gasped at the feeling of intense pleasure that took them over; their eyes tightly shut, their foreheads pressed together.

His free hand went to push his jeans further below his well-toned ass. He probably should have taken them off all together but there was no time for that. There was no time for anything but this.

He pulled his head away to look up at her, her eyes were still closed. "Look at me," he whispered. 

Their gaze met when she did; eyes filled with so many emotions. He licked at her bottom lip before his hips began moving; in and out; Long; Slow; Deep.

"Oh god," she whimpered against his opened lips; his tongue tasting her trembling breath. Nothing prepared her for the feeling she was experiencing now. _Nothing_. It was all so much and still she needed more. She needed all of him and she needed it now.

Her head fell to the side, her forehead resting on her arm next to his ear. "Fuck me," she moaned.

And that he did, his thrust went from deep and slow to deep and fast within seconds; the speed of his hips, pushing her higher above him. Her hard nipples rubbing into his chest; their bodies lightly coated with sweat. The bun she had done, falling apart, allowing her hair to hang loosely around her shoulders.

The lamp from the bedside table wobbled and fell from its place and they didn't even notice it. They didn’t even care to notice.

"Fuck me," she repeated with every thrust, her words filling the room becoming hoarse shouts and screams and then turning to strings of incomprehensible gibberish as his speed went to shallow and fast. Her head flew back against the wall; her eyes shut tight, her throat raw from all her screaming. Her legs wrapped tighter around his waist, her heels pressed into the small of his back; pulling him further into her wetness.

The air became nothing but their bodies slapping together, his grunts and her high pitched sounds.

His mouth went to bite at the salty skin at her neck and that only caused her to become louder. 

His free hand went to lace their fingers together, pressing it into the wall above her head as he lost himself in her. There were squishing, wet sounds coming from below him and then he felt it.

"Fuck," he gasped. "Em, you're dripping down my thigh."

His hand left hers to grip at her hips, impaling her roughly on him. The slapping from their bodies meeting and the thudding sounds of her back against wall becoming louder with every hard thrust.

Her eyes flew up open at the erratic nature of his speed, the tension in her lower abdomen boiling to unbearable points as he hits that sweet spot inside her that made her go crazy. She clutched at his shoulders, her nails digging into moist flesh as she felt her release approaching fast. Her thighs squeezed tighter, her heels digging into his buttocks. "Kit," she whispered shakily. "I'm going to..." 

His fingers dug into the bones of her hips at her words, her walls tightening around him; their eyes locked onto each other.

"Fuck, I can feel it," he whispered back.

He's pulling her down to him, faster, harder; chasing the release that had built up for so long.

"Oh...God...Kit...Cumming!" she screamed as she was consumed by her pleasure.

She shook violently in his arms as she hit her peak head on. His name falling from her opened lips over and over as he continued to thrust into her, pulling every ounce of her tumbling, earthshattering wave from her as he came upon his own release.

With a loud grunt, he found it; spilling into her; sinking his teeth into that pulsing spot of her neck that made her scream. He continued to pound into her until they had both come down from their highs; his thrust becoming a slow roll of his hips. Her screams turning into soft moans against his neck.

He laid gentle kisses on the love bite he left as he carried her sweaty, limp, shaking body to the bed; climbing in next to her and wrapping her in his arms.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy Guys! This chapter is coming to you much later than I wanted it to. I'm having some issues with my laptop so I'm currently sharing with my mom. I had to write at work when I got the time because my mom is currently using the one we share.
> 
> Again, I'm really sorry for the late update but I'm working on sorting that issue out so I can get the chapters to you at least every Sunday as I've done previously.
> 
> We're forever grateful for all your love and support. All the comments and kudos you've left, we've seen every one and it has brought us so many laughs and smiles! Much love and light my little sunflowers xo
> 
> Hope you enjoy! ❤️

Sunlight streamed in through the curtains of the thinly veiled windows and when it hit her, she stirred stiffly; her face contorting at the feel of such bright rays upon her skin. It wasn’t until she tried rolling away from the tortuous beams did she realize she was trapped by something or someone. She noticed there was a warm breath on her neck and a weight across her torso, preventing her from moving. Her eyes flew open against the onslaught of sunlight and as she looked over at the windows she realized she hadn’t closed her blinds from the night before. She lowered her gaze and saw that Kit was still in her bed; unbothered and pressed up against her side. His arm had been flung carelessly over her stomach and his face nestled into the crook of her neck; his breath soundlessly brushing up against the sensitive skin there.

It was all quite a lovely scene. The two of them wrapped up in each other so snugly, only the plush material of the comforter between their naked bodies. She still hadn’t gotten over what happened the previous night. It felt surreal; it felt strange. It was something she had thought about several times but never with the hopes of it actually happening. After he had carried her to bed, he held her; held her so tightly, so securely, so lovingly. He’d kissed her too, so gently; so fully that her soul quivered at the feel of him.

He made love to her after. The two of them, pressed against the other; hips nestled in between her thighs as he rode her to ecstasy and back. They hadn’t stopped until the wee hours of the morning; when the world was sleeping and the darkness was still. He had begged her to be quiet but that had proven difficult for his desire for her could not be controlled or tamed. Something had surfaced from him; the thirst for which he wanted her. His hand had made a fist in the plush leather headboard above her and his other gripped the softness of her hips as he pummeled into her; barely allowing her to catch her breath with every gasp and mewl that escaped. She was sure he had bruised her and when he instructed her to cum for him, she had done just that and they had tunneled into the darkness together; grasping at each other; lips open and wet. She gripped him as she fell; her nails digging into his back and surely drawing fine lines and blood.

Now here they were, cuddled together basking in the early morning sunlight like some married couple that they weren't. They weren’t even dating. He belonged to another. He belonged to her best friend; her best friend whom she loved dearly; her best friend who loved her and trusted her. And here she was betraying her; stabbing her thoughtlessly in the back.

Anxiety was beginning to set in; her thoughts racing around in her head. She needed to move. She needed to get out of bed but she didn’t want to wake him; she was not quite ready to talk to him or deal with all of this. It took a lot of effort but she slowly and carefully slid from beneath him, allowing him to fall into the soft pillows with a quiet mumble from his lips.

She stepped lightly through the room; opening her suitcase, blindly feeling around for an item of clothing. She eventually found an over sized t-shirt; pulling it over her head and exiting the room quietly.

 

When Kit woke a few hours later, he realized the space next to him was empty. He swung his legs off the bed, slouched down, resting his head in his hands and running them through his hair. He pushed himself from the comforter and threw on the denim pants he wore the night before; wondering where she had gone.

He found her cleaning vigorously in the open kitchen area. Her back turned to him, her shoulders rigid and her hands working madly at the mini-counter.

“You know they have people who come in and do that right?” he said jokingly.

She continued to clean, showing no sign that she had heard him.

“Em?” he said with more concern in his voice; and still nothing. “Emilia?” he said a little more forcefully.

Her hands ceased its movement but she did not turn around. She released a heavy breath before replying, “Kit, not now,” she grinded out.

He stood staring at her back, eyebrow arched and arms crossed over his chest. He was partly expecting this and he was even more determined to prove to her he wasn’t going anywhere.

She sensed that he hadn’t moved and spun around to meet his eyes; the words she wanted to say dying on her lips at the sight of him being shirtless. Her breath hitched. “Can you please put some bloody clothes on,” she said, trying to avert her eyes.

He chuckled and took a step closer. “I am wearing clothes.”

“I mean, more clothes,” she said, gesturing towards his upper half.

“I don’t understand, this morning you had your tongue…”

“Kit!”

A bellowing laugh erupted from him then. “I know. I’m sorry.” 

His laughter faded; leaving a contemplative look on his face. He allowed a sigh to escape from his lips, as he turned to perch on the arm of her couch, watching her from a distance. “We fucked up didn’t we?” he said worriedly.

Her arms went to cross protectively over her own chest, “Yes, we did.”

"I can’t believe we did _that_. I have to tell her. I can’t keep this from her,” he said sadly.

Her eyes began to water at the possibility of losing her best friend, “She’s going to hate me so much.”

“You won’t be the only one.”

“Oh god Kit, what have we done?” she asked, her words heavy with emotions. Her hand flying up to cover her mouth as a sob escaped the tightness of her chest.

Kit stood from his position on the sofa arm to approach her; to comfort; to soothe her tears.

“Don’t!” she said abruptly; removing her hand and wiping at her eyes. “I’m fine but you have to fix this. You have to tell her the truth and fix this. She loves you too much.”

“And so do you,” he said suddenly.

She’s taken aback by what he said; his acknowledgement of her love for him landing heavily on her ears and her heart. Her eyes watering again. “It doesn’t matter,” she said; there’s a pleading tone in her voice; as if begging for him to forget it; to forget her love and everything she has said.

“It does, Em. Stop pretending as if it doesn’t. It’s what brought us to this place,” he said vigorously.

“I’m not talking about this anymore,” she spat out, a bit of irritation in her tone.

“Then when? When are we actually going to have a conversation about this?”

She stopped; staring over at him; her eyes wide with fear and a mixture of anger. “What did she say?”

“What? What did who say?” his eyebrows coming together in confusion.

“Rose. When she called yesterday and you came back with that weird look on your face. What did she say?” she asked blankly.

He’s completely surprised at this sudden change of subject. He’s hesitant to answer; hesitant to say the truth he knows will hurt her more than he already has. “She said yes.”

“Yes to what?”

“To moving in with me…”

There’s a long sullen silence that engulfs them; a moment of intense stares and regretful eyes before he continued.

“You know I bought a place the other day right? Well before we started filming I asked her to move in with me. She wasn’t sure it was the right time so I told her to think about it; that she could give me an answer once we were done filming. Yesterday was our last day - I had totally forgotten and when she called and said ‘yes’, I was bloody confused but then I remembered and I…I didn’t…”

She swallowed hard against the intense feelings in her throat; the jealousy and anger that gripped at her lungs, making it hard to control her breathing. “I’m happy for you. I really am. You both deserve this,” she rushed, totally cutting him off from the incoming patronizing words she sensed.

He watched her; observed the way she pretended to be unaffected by what he just said. He doesn’t like hurting her like this but he also doesn’t want to lie to her either. He wants to comfort her. He wants to do so much more than just stand and stare sympathetically at her; but he knows she won’t let him; not when she's like this. Not when she’s feeling so vulnerable and low. She'll only push him further and he won’t risk that.

“Emilia, I’m so sorry. I keep hurting you and it’s the last thing I ever want to do. Things just keep getting tangled and confusing and I don’t know what to do anymore,” he said desolately.

“I’ll tell you what you should do; move in with her,” she turned her back to him again; scrubbing at the already clean counter top. “Move in with her and be happy. Be faithful. Be loyal,” she’s emphasizing each word with a dramatic scrub; putting more effort than necessary in the task.

She’s back to ignoring him; pretending he isn’t even in the room; allowing herself to get wrapped up in cleaning. She can tell he’s still there and she can hear light footsteps approaching; that’s when she felt strong hands on her shoulders and a warm body pressed against her back. His face inches from the back of her head; taking in the smell of her hair and the feel of her body flushed against him.

Her breath hitched and her hand comes to fist the sponge she’s holding.

“Kit,” she warned.

“Stop pushing me away,” he whispered against her hair.

She closed her eyes against the feel of his breath so close to her before she spun around to look up at him. His hands go to grip the counter on either side of her; trapping her in front of him.

“This is so wrong,” she whispered; looking from his eyes down to his lips.

“I know,” his eyes shut instinctively against the warm air that caressed his face; his head ducking slightly; inching closer to her lips. “I can’t help myself.”

“I know,” she replied, her breath and voice trembling a bit.

Her eyes close impulsively; her lips part expectantly until a particular memory comes back to her and her hands fly up to rest against his bare chest, lightly pushing him away.

“Kit!” she said, her voice filled with alarm and panic.

“Mmm?” his eyes still closed, not completely pulled out of the spell he was under.

“Look at me,” she insisted.

His eyes meet her panicked gaze before he released his hold on the counter; backing away slightly; giving her space to move.

“I need something,” she said timidly.

“Anything,” he reassured.

“We didn’t use any protection and well...”

His eyes went wide; he sensed where she was going and it suddenly dawned on him, the severity of their actions. 

 

Emilia called her agent immediately after speaking to Kit. A box of Plan B One-Step had shown up at her door in less than an hour, masked perfectly in a brown paper bag. She didn’t want to go in person, it was too much of a risk to have the paparazzi or even the store personnel recognize her and leak the juicy details to an eager tabloid.

She had downed the single tablet with a glass of water and retired to the couch in her hotel living room to watch a little television; hoping it would provide the distraction to keep her mind off things. She was scrolling mindlessly through the channels before she heard a knock.

She lazily got up and made her way over to the door, flinging it open to reveal an all too excited Nathalie.

“You would never guess what happened,” she said as she entered the room.

“Please, come in,” Emilia said sarcastically.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t wait another minute to tell you,” Nathalie replied.

“This isn’t a good time Nat, I’m not feeling too well,” Emilia insisted.

“Oh no! What’s wrong?” she said; her voice dripping with concern.

“I think I picked up a stomach virus so maybe this could wait… until later perhaps,” Emilia said, almost pleading with her.

“Poor baby, I promise I will only take a second. You’re _going_ to want to hear this.”

Nathalie headed straight for the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and pouring herself a glass of water before offering a glass to Emilia.

“I’m good. Make it quick Nat,” she said tensely.

“Okay. So I’m strolling down to the market to get some nectarines – you know how much I love my nectarines, when I bump into someone. He goes, ‘I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t see you there’ and when I looked up, Seth was staring right back at me.”

“Seth?”

“Yes, your ex-boyfriend Seth,” Nathalie exclaimed, she’s strolling over to where her friend still stood by the door when her eye caught something on the small table in the mini kitchen.

“We don’t even talk anymore. I haven’t seen him in so long,” Emilia said distractedly, looking out into nothing.

“Or have you?” Nathalie asked; a bit of mischief in her voice.

Emilia looked up at her friend to see a smirk plastered on her face and a box of emergency contraceptive pills in her hand. She’s wiggling it around, a knowing smile gracing her lips, her eyes gleaming at her friend.

Emilia is shocked; she’s panicking; she’s horrified.

“It’s not what you think,” the brunette said nervously.

“Isn’t it?” Nathalie asked with an odd look on her face.

“Hey Em! I borrowed some of your conditioner, I hope that’s alright,” Kit shouted as her entered the living room; a towel wrapped around his waist and another fisting at his damn curls. He stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Nathalie holding Emilia’s pills and the nightmarish look on Emilia’s face.

Nathalie’s eyes went wide; her mouth falling open reflexively and the hand she had in the air, slowly falling to her side. There’s an awkward silence filling the room. She’s looking between Emilia and Kit apprehensively before she finds her voice again, “Kit, I wasn’t expecting to see _you_ here.”

Kit looked over at Emilia, his eyes catching her gaze before he responded, “I wasn’t expecting to be here,” he said uneasily.

“He spilled something on himself and I told him it was okay to use my shower,” Emilia said nervously.

“Oh. I see. You need to be more careful there Kit,” Nathalie joked.

Kit nodded before turning and leaving the living room all together.

Nathalie gingerly placed the box back on the table while Emilia slowly but awkwardly made her way over to the couch. She took a seat, praying there would be no questions from her friend. She looked up, making eye contact and smiled calmly over at her; doing what she can to mask the weirdness of the moment. She hoped she bought the story she had quickly fabricated but telling from her friend’s tone; she knew better than to hope for such things.

“He said to tell you hi,” Nathalie said unexpectedly.

“Who?” Emilia asked, snapping out of her wandering thoughts.

“Seth. He was really happy to see me actually. He was there with a young thing but he did bring you up. Asked how you were doing, wanted me to tell you he said hi.”

“Oh. I should give him a call,” Emilia replied, her breath slowly filling her lungs again.

“Do you think that’s such a good idea?” 

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

Just then, Kit rounded the corner. He was fully dressed; finally, collective and looking more relaxed.

“Well ladies, I’m going to leave you two,” he said casually. “It was good seeing you Nathalie. And Em, thanks again for the shower. I’ll talk to you later.”

His eyes met hers from across the room as he made his way towards the door. Emilia nodded stiffly, her lips pressed together in a thin line. She tore her gaze from his and focused her attention on the woman still in the kitchen; the woman looked at them peculiarly.  
Tension and worry rocked Emilia in these odd moments. She heard the closing of the door and knew Kit was gone; her body on edge at what was coming next.

“I was saying, it might not be such a good idea – seeing as though he has a girlfriend now and you’re both in the same town. It might cause… problems," she said she as she took a seat next to the brunette.

“You’re probably right. I’ll wait until I get back to London. Give it some time to breathe.”

“I think that would be best,” she said, a giggle escaping her lips.

It was a giggle that made Emilia relax a little; a giggle that removed some of the awkwardness and tension circling them. She could feel her chest relaxing and it was becoming easier to breathe again.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Emilia asked, leaning into the corner of the couch.

“I don’t know. I’m already packed. I might just stay in and get some rest. How ‘bout you? How are you feeling now?”

“Still a little queasy. I might go for a walk; get some fresh air.”

“That should do you some good," she paused momentarily. " So when?”

“Maybe later today, I’ll see how I feel.”

“No, when did you and Kit start… you know?”

Emilia sat completely motionless. It was as If the impact of Nathalie’s question had knocked every wisp of air from her lungs; she sat there, struggling to find the words; completely baffled; totally stunned.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she struggled.

“C’mon Em, I know. I think I’ve known for a while now. You can tell me.”

Emilia didn’t say anything to that. She stared at her, her eyes wide and slightly wet with emotion and panic.

“I mean, he left here in the same clothes he wore to the party last evening and the other evening when I came over, you were both so flushed and you had that really huge love mark on your neck.”

“We… we didn’t…” Emilia stuttered.

"Em, you don't need to hide these things from me. I'm just worried about you. What's going on?"

"I honestly don't know," she replied with a shake of her head; a sob escaping her lips and her body beginning to shake with trapped feelings that wrestled from her. The tears flowed; her hands coming up to cover her mouth against the cries that threatened.

"Shhh," Nathalie whispered as she took her friends head into her lap. "It's okay."

One hand on her back and the other brushing at brown tresses, she spoke to her softly, "I've got you," the curly haired woman reassured as she stroked and soothed her.

 

They stayed like that for what felt like hours, Nathalie comforting her as she wept; speaking gentle words of encouragement and support above her trembling head.

After her tears had ceased, she pushed herself from her friend's lap; wiping at her face and gathering herself.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, keeping her eyes averted; embarrassed and ashamed that she allowed herself to break just now.

"You don't need to apologize," Nathalie whispered, tucking strands of hair behind the woman's ear. "What's going on?"

Emilia shook her head in disbelief and disgust at the confession about to come from her; her stomach twisting in knots. "It only happened once but there were incidents leading up to that moment."

She paused as she thought back to all those conversations, secret glances and that time they came so close. She released a heavy breath before continuing.

"That night you came here, it would have happened if you hadn't walked in on us," Emilia finished, curling her legs under her body and pulling her oversized t-shirt over her knees.

"Wow. I see and what about Rose?"

"She has no idea," Emilia said distantly; biting on the corner of her bottom lip.

Nathalie stared at the woman before her; taking in the nervous and scared tendencies. She sighed heavily before replying, "You know I love you right and I’m not here to bash or judge you."

Emilia nodded.

"But this can't keep happening. We all know Rose, we all love her and this isn't fair to her... or to you," Nathalie said gently.

"What should I do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I love him and I know this is wrong but it's so hard to stay away from him; and Rose, she's my best friend... and I've betrayed her in the worst way possible, how can she ever forgive me?"

Nathalie's hand goes to cover her friend's trembling one. "First of all, your feelings for him aren't wrong. You love him and that's a bloody beautiful thing. You both just need to figure things out before more damage is done. Talk to him; tell him how you feel. I mean, it's obvious you can't stay away from each other; you just need to decide on what you both want."

"I don't want to come between them."

"Oh sweet girl, I think you already have. Kit's now smack dab between the two women he loves," she said with a wry smile.

"He doesn't love me."

"Did he say that?"

"No but..."

"Well, believe me, he does."

She went silent; thinking about what her friend had just said. "Rose deserves to be happy."

"And you don't? Emilia, I've seen you play matchmaker with so many people; putting others before yourself and forgetting about your happiness. No one deserves good things more than you do. I love Rose, she's a great girl but I’ve seen you and Kit together; there's definitely something there. Talk to him," Nathalie urged.

She's smiling sweetly at Emilia and Emilia is doing her best to smile back but everything she just heard is weighing heavily on her. Parts of their conversation replaying in her head; creating scenarios from nothing.Thinking about the different ways this could all go.

They spent the next half hour talking; Emilia cries a few more times and Nathalie comforts her. They've sometimes fallen into comfortable silence, where Emilia goes off into her head; completely tuning out everything around her and Nathalie just watches and rubs the back of her hand supportively.

When the curly haired beauty left, Emilia retreated to the bathroom, drawing herself a warm bath and submerging herself in its soothing feels. She allowed her body to relax; allowed the hot water to wash over her. This was exactly what she needed right now. When she got out, she felt much better than before; her anxiety subsiding and her body feeling less tense.

A walk was her minds' next step. She needed to get her thoughts to slow down. She decided to take that stroll she mentioned to Nathalie; the day was perfect for it. It was cool and windy; so she grabbed a quick snack from her mini-fridge and headed out to a nearby park.

 

She spent nearly two hours sitting; watching people pass by; observing small creatures from a hidden bench just beyond a bushel. The blue sky stretched above her; moving clouds and dancing trees surrounded her. She took in the afternoon glare of the sun and the cool air fluttering strands of hair around her face.

Her thoughts flowed freer now; no longer suffocating her; no longer threatening to push her into dark, hollow spaces. She allowed them room to breathe, analyzing them with more clarity; welcoming them with open arms. Whatever happens, will happen and she will be fine. Her decision was no easier; a decision that was no more clearer than it had been a few hours ago but now she could breathe again; now she knew she needed to at least speak with him; to make clear whatever had existed between them.

She pulled out her phone, ready to call him when she saw he had already sent her a message.

_K: What's going on? Is everything ok?_

She stared at the message before lifting her gaze to study her surroundings. She wondered if she should reply right now; she wondered if she should continue to enjoy what had been unfolding in front of her; beautiful scenes and beautiful people. She could continue to bask in this peaceful space but time was of the essence. They were moving in together; they were starting a life together; and though she never wanted to come between them, the deeds had been done and their story had been set in motion. It was time they faced the music and addressed the swelling issue.

She spent another hour sitting on the park bench, waving to the those cheerful pedestrians who saw her and watching the day roll by. She'd return to her room soon enough but first she'd relearn how to stop and breathe.

 

She opened the door to her hotel room, already missing the world beyond the walls. She settled in bed; immediately flipping on the flat screen mounted on the wall and scrolled through the channels. She allowed an afternoon talk show to play while she reached for her cell phone again. Staring at the device, she exhaled consciously; steadying her breath for a few minutes before actually replying.

_E: Everything's fine. Just got in from a stroll._

Not even a minute had passed before she saw him typing his response.

_K: You should have told me, I would have gone with you…_

_E: That would have defeated the purpose. I was sort of avoiding you_

There's a pause; a slight delay and then he's typing again.

_K: So you tell me you love me and now you don’t even want to be around me???_

She released a soft sigh, staring up at the television before she typed her reply.

_E: Kit, I needed some time alone. I need to think about us and what all this means._

_K: I know. I’m sorry. I’m just on edge from earlier. Did she say anything to you after I left?_

_E: She knows_

_K: WHAT??_

_E: She kinda put two and two together_

_E: And you keep marking me_

_K: Ohhhh! :$_

_E: Yeah. Not cool Harington_

_K: I wish I could say sorry and mean it but I won’t so…_

_E: Hahahaha of course not. Wouldn’t want you to lie_

She doesn’t realize but she’s smiling at her phone; a ridiculous grin that meets her eyes. It’s always been like this between them. They’ve never been able to stay angry with each other or maintain a serious conversation for too long without him doing or saying something silly and getting her to loosen up a bit.

_E: We need to talk… can I come over?_

_K: Of course you can ;)_

She’s laughing outwardly and sliding off her bed; her eyes instinctively rolling at his continuous unruly tendencies. She should be upset but she isn’t; surprisingly. She heads for the door, sliding on her sandals and made her way to his hotel room.

She knocked once and the door swung open. He’s wearing his glasses with his hair pulled back in his famous 'man bun'. He wore a simple navy blue t-shirt and a denim jeans but her heart skipped a beat regardless; especially as his lips slid upward into a wide grin when he saw her.

“You’re eager,” she teased.

“It sounded important and I’m not one for patience,” he bit back.

He stepped to the side, allowing her to enter the room.

She slowly looked around, noticing how neat and clean his space was; not much different from her own.

He closed the door behind them, watching her slowly making her way inside; observing the space around her.

“Surprised?”

“Impressed,” she corrected.

“I tidied up right before you came.”

She spun around to look at him; a laugh falling from her lips; a laugh he hadn’t heard in a very longtime; a laugh she herself hadn’t recognized. It ringed in his ears, causing his own smile to widen.

Their eyes locked across the room; smiles intact; hearts chirping; a light and giddy energy filling the air around them. The orange evening sun was streaming in through the white sheer curtains; casting a beautiful glow on them both.

“I know we’re here to talk about serious matters but god help me… I really want to kiss you right now,” he said fearfully.

Her breath caught in her throat; her chest rising and falling rapid and heavy, swiftly changing the atmosphere. Her eyes closed slowly; light lashes brushing her cheeks as she reopened them to reveal an intense, hooded gaze.

“So what’s stopping you?” she asked in a soft silky tone that left her surprised once it passed her own lips. He crossed the room in three quick strides; stalking towards her; hastily closing the gap. He grabbed her face between strong hands, pulling her towards him; delicately ghosting his lips over hers and it made her let out a light laugh; her lips eventually coming to part in a wide grin. He licked her bottom lip and she hummed low in her throat; a happy gleeful sound that made him quickly duck his head to claim her.

They moaned into the kiss; lips instantly opening to the other; giving full unashamed access. His tongue dipped into her mouth and she gripped at his shoulders; allowing her own tongue to meet his in a gliding fervent dance. He pulled away to look at her; her dazed blue green eyes looking up into his; heated gaze locking and searing together.

His lips met hers again; her scent flooding his senses, making it harder to control himself. He showed some restraint though, as he kissed her slowly, softly; pouring into her. It was comforting in ways she could not begin to express. His hands rested on her neck, his thumbs lightly caressing her cheeks; their breaths hot and mingling.

He pulled back just enough to brush their lips together and her mouth trailed after him; already missing the warm contact. He smiled into the kiss and she tasted it; tasted the way he wanted her; the way he might have loved her and her eyes opened to look at him.

“Are you okay?” he whispered just inches from her lips.

The words would not come; her tongue tied and heavy; she nodded meekly at him and he laughed, gently releasing her from his possessive hold.  
“Good,” he said before stepping away from her; putting just enough space between them so they could focus on their reason for being there.

She folded her lips; cleared her throat and adjusted her clothes. “Right, so back to other matters,” she said shakily.

“Right,” he said mockingly, studying her with an eyebrow raised.

She gave him a serious glare before exhaling heavily and leaning against the living room wall. 

“Okay, when I told you I had feelings for you, I didn’t intend for any of this to happen but it did and now we have to deal with it,” she paused to look at him. “Rose is my main concern, over everything else – even over myself. She has no idea this is happening and I feel so guilty for doing this to her, and I know you do too.”

“You know she called me last night, while we were… _you know_ and when I saw it after I got in this morning, I actually threw up,” he released a hollow laugh. “I was so upset and sad that I actually threw up,” he finished staring out into nothing, his eyes averted. “She doesn’t deserve this, any of this. I love her and I can’t believe I’m doing this to her,” his head dipped with a little shake.

Her hand went up to rest on his shoulder; it was never like this; it was always her who needed the comfort. He looked up at her; eyes meeting but filled with sadness and despair. She can see that he’s trying to be strong; his eyes are wet with unshed tears; his smile quivering with built up emotions.

She doesn’t know what to do; she wants to hold him; she does and he allows her to. His chin resting on her shoulder and his arms wrapped around her. 

Her hand went to cup the back of his head and the other making light strokes on his back; they’re swaying from side to side; unable to let go of each other.

“I’m going to breakup with her. I have to. I’m going to tell her everything and break up with her. I need to figure this out but I won’t do this to her anymore which means we have to stop this until I do, until I know what’s happening,” he whispered over her shoulder.

Her heart sunk at his words but she understood; better than anyone, she understood. This was important. This was necessary and so she continued to hold him.

They stayed like that until she left; neither of them prolonging the conversation; both trying hard to keep things as platonic as possible.

She entered her room feeling better about the situation; dreading the inevitable conversation Kit would have with Rose and the break up that would follow. She had to admit, the possibility of actually having a future or even a relationship with him had her feeling a little excited; a feeling she tried to ignore; a feeling she pushed way down deep; this was not the time for it.

He could choose Rose; they could continue their relationship and move in as planned or he could choose her; they could start something new, something she’s always dreamed about but placed no energy or hope in.

She went straight for her refrigerator pulling out a yogurt and peeling away the cover. She licked it thoughtfully while reflectively thinking about the ways this could all go; her mind wrapped up in the conversation she just had and the events of the last few days.

Just then her phone rang. She rushed over to where it rested on the couch; grabbing it quickly and looking at the lit screen. She froze; completely unable to move or swipe right to answer the blaring device.

Her eyes went wide; her hand trembling slightly; her heart skipped a beat; her stomach dropping a few inches. The caller felt strange and _that_ was strange. She should answer but how could she? What would she say to her?

_Why was Rose calling her? Especially now.._


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I've been trying to post this chapter for a few days now. I've been writing on my tablet so it's giving me some issues when I try to update. Sorry for the late update, I'm really busy with work and a YouTube channel that we started so managing my time is a bit difficult. Just know that I'll never stop writing this story until it's done. My updates might be a bit irregular but i'm still here lol
> 
> Again, thank you for your support and love! Thanks for still reading and being here. We really appreciate it. Hope you enjoy the chapter xoxo
> 
> P.S. Please check out our YouTube channel - quirkygurls. We do reaction videos to different series (if you're into that kind of stuff) <3

Emilia stared nervously at the device in her hand. She wondered what the call was about; wondered why Rose would even be calling; especially after the conversation she just had with Kit. She thought of not answering but knew it was best if she did. It was time she stopped running from her problems and faced them head on.  
With one final thought, she pulled in a lungful of air; steadying herself before swiping right on the screen.

“Hello,” she said hesitantly.

There was a slight pause before she got a response.

“Emilia! How are you?” the red head said excitedly.

Emilia nearly released a breath of relief when she heard the high pitched, happy tone of her friend.

“Hey Rose! I’m great actually. How are you doing?”

“I’m better than great! Did Kit tell you the big news?”

Emilia felt a familiar pang of guilt in the pit of her stomach. She knew exactly what news her friend was referring to but decided it was best to pretend to know nothing; the less she knew, the better it would be. Or so she thought.

“No, I haven’t heard. What’s going on?” she replied, trying to match her excitement.

“He asked me to move in with him and I said yes!” she rushed eagerly.

“Oh wow! Congratulations darling! I’m so happy for you guys!”

“Thank you! I wasn’t sure if it was a good time for us, what with all the distance and all the media attention we’ve been getting. I mean, I know you don’t pay attention to that kind of stuff but have you seen the barmy, crass things they’ve been publishing about us?And I do mean _us_. All of us,” she said in her thick Scottish accent.

Emilia’s heart dropped instantly. “You’ve seen it?”

“Of course I’ve seen it! It’s hard not to! It’s so vile. I tell you these people will print anything for a filthy buck,” Rose said, her voice dripping with detest.

“I know right,” Emilia said less convincingly.

There’s a few seconds of silence on Rose’s end. Emilia could almost feel the tension that was starting to build from the extended pause. It was mostly her doing but she didn’t know what to say to Rose anymore and it made her extremely sad and extremely nervous.

“Is everything okay, Em?”

“Yes. I’m just a bit tired.”

“Ohhh! You and Kit have been partying it up haven’t you? You guys need to take it easy over there,” Rose said jokingly.

Emilia cringed at the words; her soul feeling prickly and uncomfortable in her own skin. “We’ll try,” she replied.

“Anyways, I wanted to call to ask you something.”

“What’s that?” Emilia asked curiously.

“I’m planning a bit of a housewarming party. It’s gonna be a surprise for Kit. You know celebrating the step we’re taking.”

“Oh! Nice,” Emilia’s eyes now welling up with tears; tears of embarrassment for her friend; tears of guilt and sadness. All the excitement she was feeling about her future with Kit was beginning to sink in. Gripping at her already remorse stricken heart. It was all too much. She felt she was to blame for the pain that was coming; for destroying their _perfect_ relationship. 

“I want you there and I know Kit would love it if you could make it.”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” the tears still threatening.

“Great! Well I’ll send you the details,” Rose said excitedly.

“I’ll be waiting,” Emilia retorted, trying to imitate her friend’s enthusiasm.

"I miss you both so much. I can't wait to see you," Rose said.

Her heart sank at the confession. It was becoming harder to control her emotion; the tightness and tension gripping her throat; her fingers tightly clutching the device in her fist.

"Rose, I’m sorry. I have to run. Make sure to send me those details okay?" Emilia rushed, trying to mask the shakiness in her voice.

"Oh, okay darling. Later Em."

"Bye."

The call disconnected; her hand slowly falling from her ear; her eyes wide and wet as she stared into the empty spaces around her.

She had been feeling good before that call; she was feeling hopeful and clear. Now the lightness was gone; now the peace she once felt had escaped her; leaving nothing but crippling heaviness in its place. She couldn’t let Kit go through with it anymore. She needed to stop him. It wasn’t fair to Rose; she was so excited and so looking forward to starting a life with him. After all, she was there first. How could she intentionally destroy everything they had taken years to build?

She lifted the device once more; typing hastily and fiercely.

_E: You can’t leave her Kit. I don’t want you to. Be with her. Don’t throw away everything you’ve fought so hard to keep. She loves you._

She switched off her phone after sending the message; knowing he’ll probably be calling her as soon as he saw it. She knew him well enough; knew he’d try to convince her to stick to their plan; but how could she? How could she break her friend’s heart? How could she want something that was never hers to begin with?

She slowly walked to her bedroom; throwing her iPhone on the study table and collapsing on the bed. She crept into a fetal position; her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped securely around them. She wept in the stillness of her room; nothing but sobs bouncing off thin, hollow walls.

She had let herself be happy for a day before the weight of the situation came tumbling down around her again. She had wanted a plan; something to let her feel better about what was happening and now that they finally had one, it was completely ruined.

They were foolish to think they could go through with it; to hurt someone they both cared about so they could continue their sordid affair; the price was too much to pay. She’d stay without him; she definitely knew how. Settling for friendship was enough; it had to be.

 

She had drifted off into a sleep filled with morbid thoughts and hopeless, helpless dreams before her eyes flew open at the sound of a loud thud coming from the living room. She lifted her head from the coolness of her pillow; her eyes slightly swollen from crying. She thought she must have been dreaming, she must have heard it in her dazed state, but then it came again; a distinct banging. It took her a few seconds of blinded disorientation to realize that someone was at her door.  
She was about to get out of bed when she heard the voice coming from the other side of it.

“Emilia, open up!”

It was Kit; he must have read her message and decided that he would come talk her out of her decision but her mind was already made up. She couldn’t go through with it. They couldn’t do this to their friend; it wasn’t right.

She closed her eyes tightly against the sounds of heavy banging and loud shouting coming from the other room. He’d go away; he’d leave and get over whatever this was. They’d go back to being just friends and everything would be normal again.

It was the desperation in his voice that broke her; the worry and panic that made her feel even more guilty and wretched. She hadn’t planned on crying again but the tears came any way. She hugged her knees tightly and tried to tune out the noise that came from the next room.  


He must have been there for nearly twenty minutes; calling for her; speaking to her until he eventually gave up. Five minutes had passed and the atmosphere was still again; quiet enough for her to go back to her more lonely thoughts; quiet enough for her to go back to sleep and that she did.

Emilia hadn’t been sleeping for more than two hours when she felt something brush up against her face. Her eyes fluttered open; her vision blurred; her mind unsettled. It took a few seconds but Kit’s face slowly came into focus. He had been resting his head on the pillow next to her; his gaze solemn and twinkly; his face warm and smiling.

“You went to maintenance again didn’t you?” she said, her voice shaky and croaky from the sleep that still lingered.

“Yup,” he said proudly as he brought a hand up to brush away brown strands from her crimson face. “And you’ve been crying,” he concluded.

She didn’t say anything to that. She blinked a few times, looking like a lost child before him; their faces just inches apart. She turned away from him, glancing over at the digital clock next to her bed; seeing that the time had been a 12:16 AM.

“What’s wrong Em? Why’d you send me that message? I thought we…”

“Well you thought wrong,” she said wryly, turning to face him again.

Kit released a frustrated sigh; his gaze dropping momentarily before meeting hers again. “You can’t keep pushing me like this, Em.”

“I’m not…” she started exasperatingly. “She called me.”

“Who called you?”

“Rose. She called and said she was planning a party to celebrate moving in with you and I was invited.”

“Oh. Wow.”

Their eyes held an intense stare; Kit’s filled with more sadness as he slowly came to understand her reason for backing down.

“I still want to go through with this,” he whispered.

“She was so excited Kit. You didn’t hear her? It’s going to break her heart if you leave her,” she pleaded.

“So I stay with her and I stay away from you? Because that’s the only way I see this thing between us ending; if I avoid you completely,” he said, gesturing between them.

“I…I don’t know,” she said sadly.

“Don’t you want me?” he asked.

“Kit, please.”

“Answer me,” he said, a slightly demanding tone in his voice.

“You have no idea how much,” she said silkily; her confession sounding like a moan; her voice causing a twitch in his pants.

The darkness of the room suddenly felt thick and heavy like slow molasses hanging around them. The early morning silence being filled with their heavy breaths and quickening, thumping pulse. He wanted to reach between them; to close the gap and show her just how much he yearned for her but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t start that again; not when they were trying to figure things out. 

Kit shakily reached for her arm; slowly trailing his fingertips up and down soft, smooth skin. He really wanted to put his lips there; wanted to taste her softness again but fought against the urge. He decided this simple intimate touch would have to do; that it would have to be enough to sate his desire for her.

She watched the hand that skimmed over her skin; her breathing becoming coming quick and heavy. Her lips agape but unable to form the words she wanted to say to stop him; the moment weighing heavily on them both; the urges getting harder to fight.

"Kit..." She warned, her voice shaky and soft.

He gripped lightly at her shoulder lightly before pulling his hand away all together.

She rolled onto her back, releasing a long drawn out breath once she did; trying her best to control herself. "You're right. This is going to be hard."

"I told you."

He watched her in the darkness.The gentle rise and fall of her chest; the way she slowly rolled her head from side to side as she tried to collect whatever semblance of self control she could manage.

"You can't leave her, Kit. Promise me you'll forget all of this ever happened and try to make things work with her.”

"Em..."

"Promise me."

"I don't know if I can."

"I can't be a part of this. I can't be the reason you guys split. Do you have any idea what the tabloids will say?" she asked, her voice shaky and a pitch higher.

"When have you ever cared about these things?”

“Since they became real; since all those lies and filth became our actual lives.”

She turned her head, observing him. He was still on his side, his eyes watching her in the darkness; propped up on his elbow; his head in his hand. 

“So what now?” he asked quietly.

She licked her lips; turning her head and staring up at the ceiling; her eyes searching the stillness for answers. She was so sure before, so certain of the way things could or should play out. That phone call had taken that from her. It had robbed her of her peace; tossed her into a gaping, shadowy hole. It had turned things messy again and she was no longer sure what she wanted to happen. All she knew, was that they had built a thick wall of lies and deceit around themselves; a wall that would come crashing down soon enough, taking everything they cared about with them.

“You go back home to your girlfriend and I’ll go back to being your friend,” she said finally.

“You’re running away from all of this because of a bloody phone call? That’s all it took?” he said in a slightly angry tone.

“It was like a big dose of reality just hit me in the face, Kit.”

“We’re not real?”

“No. No, we’re not. Not here; certainly not here. We’re in like this little cocoon here. Here, Rose and our lives in London, doesn’t even exist you know?”

“Yeah,” Kit said distantly, staring past her and into more darkness.

She faced him fully now; completely on her side; her eyes pleading for him to understand, “I can’t kiss you and tell you I love you when you’re with one of my closest friends!”

“I still can’t believe all this happened.”

“Well it did!”

“This doesn’t even feel real anymore, Em,” he said, allowing his gaze to reach past her as his mind wandered.

“I know,” she sighed. “I should have said something sooner.

His eyes snapped back to her. He had never heard her say it. He never imagined that she would. All she had done since he found out was deny everything but this she allowed to escape; this truth she allowed him to see.

“You should have,” he whispered.

“And now you’re with her,” she said, locking gaze with him.

“And we both love her.”

“So what’s going on Em? Is that it?” his voice full of regret and fear of what her answer might be.

“What?”

“I mean, did we miss? Tough luck? Is it too late to figure things out with us?”

“Do you want an answer to that now?” she asked inquiringly.

“It depends.”

“On?”

“Will I like the answer?”

She chuckled at that; a light, soft thing that met his ears beautifully and caused his own laugh to escape him. They’re staring at each other in the darkness of the night and Kit decided to move closer to her; his hand reaching out for her face, stroking softly the skin of her cheek. His gaze was filled with tenderness as he looked at her; things he dared not say to her right now; things he knew would overwhelm and pressure her.

She’s looking back at him; her own eyes full and intense with unspoken words. She’s turning her head into his touch and he opens his hand, cupping her cheek gently. Her eyes fluttered shut and a contented sigh left her throat and filled the silent, dark air around them; adding to the affectionate moment between them.

She opened her eyes; second guessing what she’s about to do but eager to close the space between them; she yearned for him; wanting to have him closer to her. She doesn’t over-think it anymore; instead she crawls over to his side of the bed, cuddling up to him, pressing her body into his side and resting her head on his chest.

He hesitated for a split second, allowing his hand to circle narrow shoulders; pulling her closer to him. He kissed the top of her head, taking in the richness of her soft scent; his finger making weird trails along the skin of her upper arm.

“You know I remember the first time we met; every second of it,” she said unexpectedly.

“Me too,” he whispered against the top of her head.

She lifted her head slightly to look up at him; smiling sweetly before lowering it back to his chest. Her hand came up to rest against his clothed stomach, idly toying with the material there.

“Most of my friends, they don’t remember their first date with their husband, their own wedding or even walking down the aisle, it's all a blur but for me, I remember every moment at that bar,” she paused to think back to that night. “I remember every single word I said. I remember every single word you said,” she whispered. “I remember every single word the bartender said,” she added jokingly.

He laughed from above her; his jerking from the sounds.

“I honestly believed that I met the love of my life that night,” she said shakily.

“Em…” he started.

“But then you met Rose and I thought that…”

“You pushed us together. You set everything up. I had no idea you even had any type of feelings for me.”

She went quiet. He was right. She did force them into a relationship but she thought he wanted it. She thought that was what made him happy. Three years of friendship and he hadn’t made a move or even brought up the possibility of dating but once he met Rose, everything had just fallen into place. 

Though it pained her, she had wanted nothing but his happiness and so she did it; she brought them together and now here they were.

"I did what I thought was right at the time. I wanted you to be happy."

" _We_ could have been happy."

She paused to reflect on his words. Things could have really gone differently for them had they just communicated their feelings earlier. It could have been her moving into his home; her sharing his life and his bed; her holding him like this every night.

"What happens if something gets in the way again?" she asked timidly. 

"Well, it could."

"The last thing I want to do is believe in a promise that's not going to be kept."

"I know. We’ll give it our best shot."

"And is it going to be enough; after everything?"

"I'm willing to take the chance, if you are. I'm willing to figure this out."

Emilia's heart was beating furiously in her chest; her skin starting to feel damp and cool in the night air from all the nervous sweating she was doing. This was all happening so quickly and so definitely. She heard his own heart pounding rapidly. It made her all the more anxious, all the more afraid but somehow even more certain she wanted him; wanted this.

"Meaning?" She asked nervously.

Kit licked his lips; giving his brain a few seconds to formulate the words he wanted to say.

"Would you be okay with me leaving Rose and trying with you?"

Emilia's head lifted from its position to look up at the man above her. She searched his eyes; wondering if he was sure this was what he wanted; wondering if this had all been a cruel joke. He smiled back at her nervously; his eyebrows raised high in what could only be his fear of her rejecting him.

"I can't believe you just said that," she said apprehensively.

"I know," he sighed. "I just basically asked you to give me permission to leave my girlfriend for you."

She placed her head on his chest again; pulling him closer to her side.

"I know," she said on an exhale.

"And I love the woman."

"We both do," she added.

"And here I am fantasizing about being with you, about ready to tear our entire friendship apart like it means nothing."

"I know," she said thoughtfully. "Our timing sucks!"

"When's ever a good time for something like this?" he asked.

"Never," she moaned exasperatedly.

Kit sighed.

"So what are we doing Em?"

"Kit," she started.

"Look, I don't want to push but us pretending that there's nothing _here_ , that's not working. So if you don't want this anymore just say it, just tell me and I'll... I don't know what I'll do but I'll try to figure out what's going on with my life," he said sadly.

Her head came up once again but this time she pushed her body up; their face inches apart now; her head right above his as she looked down on him.

Kit hadn't realized until he stared back at her; blue green eyes were shining, wet and perplexed.

"You can figure out what's going on in your life without me? How?" her voice shaking with threatening tears.

"I can't" he confessed; his voice equally unsteady.

She smiled, a wet and bright smile, so breathtaking in the dimly lit room that Kit had to force himself not to cross the lines they've been fighting.

"Cause I can't imagine your life without me. I never could. Even when we weren't speaking, even when we were worlds apart; I couldn't imagine not being in your life, I couldn't imagine us not being together at some part cause..." She paused to swallow against the tightness in her throat. "You're all I ever wanted."

Kit's palm came to rest on her cheek again; his thumb caressing her face. He looked into wide eyes; eyes that shone with so much blatant love. He might have been confused about where things were with Rose but he knew his feelings for the woman before him could not be taken lightly. He had wanted her since that night at the bar and he had loved her ever since; the stunning brunette with the wicked sense of humor; the woman who sacrificed her own happiness so blindly and so selflessly to give him a life she thought he wanted; the woman that settled for being his best friend so she would never lose him.

"I love you. I've always loved you and I'm not going to fight that anymore. It’s just that I hate what this is going to do to Rose and I hate myself for not having thought this through. If you stay with her it's only going to make things worse."

"So are you saying...?" he asked intriguingly.

" I want you to leave Rose. I want us to try to figure things out; together," she whispered.

He smiled up at her; his thumb still stroking her warm skin.

She was the one to initiate the kiss that followed. He hadn't seen it coming but his hand left her cheek and gripped at the back of her neck. It was a simple meeting of lips; gentle and chaste. Their breaths held and pulse rushing.

Her heart was so wild and full with all the words she had finally said to him. Kissing him just felt like the natural next step. It had calmed her a bit; allowed her mind to slow and when she pulled away from him, they had both struggled to catch their breaths.

She looked down at him again; his eyes dark and intense. "Wow! Okay, that's out there. I can't believe I just said that," she managed, her breathing still labored and shallow. "What are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know. How do you make something like this sound good?" He paused, looking through her rather than looking at her. He was lost in thought; his mind already thinking of ways to break the news to Rose. "We'll try to make her understand," he said decisively.

"That what? I'm a terrible person? Cause that's what I feel like: a terrible person. God and then I think about waking up with you every morning and I know, I have to have that. I have to have that," she said softly; staring at him with loving, adoring eyes.

She continued to looking down at him; both hands resting on his chest; her gaze dropping to his lips wantonly.

"I want you," she whispered in a tone so alluring that he could not control the way his body reacted to it. He took her hand and guided it down to where the bulge had started to become visible in his jeans. She felt him; felt the hardness of him; the indisputable desire that stirred for her.

"I want you too but we can't; not until I've ended things with Rose."

Her hand still on him; fighting the urge to rub him through the material, she said "You're right. We should get some rest."

She moved down his body; positioning her head on his chest again. 

He had forgotten how to breathe; slowly forgetting the reason why flipping her on her back and fucking this woman senseless was such a bad idea.

He exhaled slowly, trying to ignore the beautiful warmth her body gave him from being so close. He allowed his hand to drift down to her waist; gripping her possessively there and inhaling her intoxicating scent as they drifted off to sleep together.

 

 

Emilia woke up the next morning in an empty bed but to the smell of breakfast wafting in the air. She smiled to herself sleepily before rolling to the edge and swinging her legs off the bed. She slowly made her way to wherever her best friend was; coming to a brief halt as she entered the living room, catching a view of him in the open kitchen. His shirtless back was to her and he seemed to be stirring something over the small stove.

"You know you could just order room service right?" She joked.

He turned around quickly at the sound of her voice. "Morning to you too and I did. I just had them bring up some uncooked stuff, that way you could wake up to the delicious scent from my excellent cooking skills."

She laughed at that; slowly making her way into the kitchen to stand next to him.

"I see and what do we have here?" she asked, one eyebrow playfully arched with a smirk on her lips.

"Well my dear, we have scrambled eggs, some sausages, a few English muffins and your choice of blueberry or strawberry yogurt," he said gesturing to the two small containers on the counter next to them.

"Hmm, impressive. You got those yogurts from my refrigerator didn't you?"

"Yes I did," he said proudly.

She laughed again before reaching down and retrieving the strawberry labeled treat.

"Excellent choice," he said with a broad grin on his face.

She began peeling away the cover, licking it thoughtfully as she watched him get two plates from the cupboard above his head.

"Why are you always shirtless?" she asked.

"Why? Am I too much of a temptation for you?" He shot back quickly without turning to look at her.

"Not at all," she said as she sat at the small table behind him.

"Are you sure?" he asked again, turning around suddenly, a breakfast plate in each hand and his chest and stomach bare. He eyed her reaction as he stood across from her; completely aware of how good he looked.

Her gaze darkened as her eyes slowly roamed down the expanse of his smooth, hairless chest to his well chiseled core. Her spoon hanging from the corner of her mouth when their gaze met.

"As long as you're not tempted," he joked as he set the plates on the table and took his seat.

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Emilia spoke up; inquiring about his cooking skills. They chatted about his younger days and his other hidden talents. Kit brought up her own skills; the fact that he had never heard her sing or play the piano before and joked about how selfish she was to keep that from him. She promised him she'd change that; that one day she'd grace him with a show he'd never forget.

 

They did the dishes together and spent the rest of the day cuddling on the sofa; watching movies and marathons of detective shows. He hadn't felt this comfortable with anyone in a while and he reveled in it; watching and enjoying her own comfort with him. Her body pressed into his side and his arm resting on the top of the plush chair so she could nestle as closely to him as possible. She tucked her legs beneath her; staring at the screen before them; unaware of his eyes on her.

It felt so natural to be like this with her and he wondered how many of these moments they had missed out on; on how many laughs and screams and watching her eyes water as she watched an emotional scene did he really let slip through his fingers. His heart ached at the thought and he sighed out loud.

She looked over at him then; watching him strangely. "What's wrong?" she asked curiously.

"Nothing," he said, smiling down at her sweetly as he pulled her closer; allowing his arm to rest over her shoulders and kissing the top of her hair.

She allowed it to slide; leaning into him more and turning her attention to the show they were watching.

Hours had passed and they still hadn't moved from their position on the couch; aside from Emilia's head resting in Kit's lap and her legs hanging over the arm of the chair. They had ordered room service of cheese burgers and fries and resumed their position in front of the television screen.

Nathalie had called to invite them to the group's final outing but Emilia had asked Kit if it was okay if they just stayed in tonight. She hadn't been feeling up to it and if she was being completely honest, she quite enjoyed having Kit all to herself.

They had retired to bed early as well; instinctively making their way back to Emilia's room; none of them questioning Kit's presence; none of them wanting to leave the other just yet. They kept in mind throughout the day that they'd have to part the following evening. Kit would return to his home and she, her own.

 

They laid next to each other in the silence; close enough to feel the other's warmth but never touching. The light glow of the moon outside casting a subtle bluish shade through the creases of the blinds. They had a lengthy conversation about the show they had just finished before a comfortable stillness took over; each assuming the other had fallen asleep.

"Why am I on this side of the bed?" Emilia asked suddenly.

"Because that's the side you went for."

"I won't be able to sleep. I need to be on my side."

Kit laughed at that. "Do you have any idea how much of a couple we sound like?"

A small chuckle escaped her as she turned to him,"I'm serious. We need to switch."

"Fine," he sighed.

"Okay. You slide to your left and I'll go over you," she instructed, already easing her body from the bed; her silk nightgown falling around her.

Kit had began to move when she had hoisted her body on all fours; lifting an arm and a leg to straddle him before rolling over onto her side.

With one knee on either sides of his hip, she briefly lowered herself before making a move to lean away and off him; her nightgown riding high on her thigh and her hair wildly framing her face; Kit observed her from below. He took notice of how breathtaking she looked like this. It wasn't until she tried to move away from him did he realize what he was about to do.

His hands quickly grabbed her hips, bring her down on him hard. She gasped; the sudden movement nearly knocking her off balance had it not been for his hands holding her in place. She continued to straddle him; her palms pressed into his chest; her thighs cushioning his hips.

Her eyebrows quickly furrowed as she looked down at him, "Kit?" she said, completely shocked and confused.

"Don't move," he whispered huskily.

Her eyes began searching his; seeking out what she knew she'd find there. It wasn't long before she saw it; before she felt it.

His hands trailed down to her exposed thighs; rubbing and squeezing them, helping her relax; all the while coaxing her stillness. He wanted her that was evident but he would fight it for as long as he could manage; as long she fought it with him.

Soft sighs and labored breathing became the only thing they could hear; the only thing to fill their senses.

She sat there; legs clutching his lower half, watching him as he caressed her outer thigh. Her core beginning to betray her as the roughness of his denim pressed against it. She tried her best not to seek friction or even push down harder against him but it was becoming increasingly difficult. 

The feel of his growing jean clad hardness wasn't helping either. She fought the urge to grab hold of him; to feel for him and slip him inside her waiting heat; to bury him so deep inside her that they’d never be without each other again.

Her thighs were beginning to shake with need; her underwear becoming wetter with every moment that past. She lowered her head with a soft groan, her hair cascading all around her, her nails beginning to dig into his bare chest.

He hissed at the sharp pain it brought as his hands continued to move up and down her thighs. "Don't move," he whispered again, a bit more forcefully.

"I can't," she moaned. “I need...”

His cock had been painfully hard against her core by now; her juices beginning to dampen his jeans slightly; the tightness of his slacks becoming unbearable. He wanted to unzip his pants and relief himself but that would lead to other things; things they had both agreed not to do.

No, they would fight this. They had to; though he struggled to find the strength to tell her to get off him; he would still fight.

And that's when he felt. She was bearing down on him; pressing her needy cunt harder against him.

"Emilia, don't," he groaned as he clutched at her thigh, urging her to stop.

She lifted her head, her gaze intensely locking with his; relaying to him the growing, unashamed want for him. Her eyes were wild and burning; she was too far gone for him to reach her, too far gone for him to pull her back.

She pushed down harder into him, her thighs now clutching tighter; her wetness unmistakable against the front of his jeans.

“Kit!” she groaned.

His own nails gripped at her soft thighs as he felt the heat between her legs; his hips slightly rising from the bed to meet her pressure.

“Your cunt is so needy. Fuck. Emilia we can’t do this,” he whispered.

She moaned loudly at his crass words; her hips doing a slow roll at the end; her clit twitching instinctively.

“Kit, please,” she begged, unable to hold back her need anymore.

He watched her from below as she continued to move; slowly and cautiously at first but then picking up the pace as her core throbbed and ached desperately. His hands went to her hips, pushing at her nightgown, causing it to bunch up at her waist. He could see her underwear now; see the damp fabric in the moon’s light. It shifted and moved as she pressed into him; the sight causing an excruciating stiffness in his trousers.

He held her in place as his hips began to move; rolling and lifting, wanting more than their restrictions could give; his fingers dung into the bone there as her cries and moans became louder and filthier. He knew she would cum; knew that if she continued moving above him, she’d fall into the euphoric darkness. 

He was about to join her; about to free himself from his trousers and thrust up when she reached between them.

Unzipping his jeans, she pushed her hand inside and feeling around for what she desired the most. Once her handmade contact, Kit released a groan from deep within his throat. She carefully pulled him out, the coolness of the air and the warmth of her palm causing him to swell further.

She looked down at him; her eyes filled with nothing but hunger and he wondered how he’d feel between those soft lips; wondered about the feel of her throat closing around him and it caused his hips to buck unconsciously.

Emilia loosened her grip on him then, slowly pumping him as she continued to grind on his lap. She raised her hips, coming up on her knees as she moved her core closer to him. With her free hand, she pulled her underwear to the side; aligning her wet center with his hardening flesh.

Her eyes went back to his; their breaths mixing and resonating in the dark, silent room. She brought her cunt directly over him, slowly lowering herself onto the side of his cock; slowly dragging her wetness along its length.

They moaned at the contact; her wet cunt rubbing over him; causing his body to tense from the wonderful feel of her. This was too much for him; this was like nothing he expected but everything he needed.

Her head flew back; her eyes closed and a string of whimpers came from her; his name falling from trembling lips as she massaged him with her aching cunt; her hips bucking and pausing every time her clit came in contact with his fleshy tip.

He watched as she held him against her sopping slit; sliding up and down his length, creating shameful wet sounds.It was like nothing he ever experienced; the divine feel of her; the glorious sounds that escaped her; he had to admit he had never witnessed anything sexier until that night.

It wasn't enough, he soon realized; she needed more; they both did.So without even giving it a second thought she lifted her hips once more; locking gaze with him and rubbed the head of his cock against her dripping opening.

"Emilia," the word slid from his lips like a prayer; like a plea and she knew he needed it just as much as she did.

Holding her underwear to the side, she gently lowered herself onto him; both gasping when only the tip sheathed itself inside her tightness. Emilia’s hands went to brace against his chest for support as she hovered above; teasing her opening with the purple intruder. 

She looked down at Kit; his eyes wide with anticipation; his hands still firmly gripping her hip; trying his best not to pull her down fully onto him.

She slowly lowered herself until he filled her, moaning loudly as she did; her chest heaving from the intensity of the moment.

She didn't move at first; savoring the feel of him; allowing his member to settle inside her before her hips started to roll.

Kit grabbed at her hips tighter; feeling the blissful way her walls tightened around him; his eyes rolling back and closing as he savored the sensation.

It was hard to ignore the tingling feeling that was building in Emilia’s stomach; hard to ignore the fire that had started spreading all over her body.

Kit groaned deep in his throat; his hands trailing up to her sides beneath her nightgown. “God, Em. What are you doing?" he moaned.

She looked down at him, her hips moving more frantically now; she gripped onto his shoulders; seating and unseating herself repeatedly. "I'm fucking you," she moaned out; her nails digging into his flesh.

Her words hitting him in places that made him want to flip them over and pound her into the mattress. He resisted; all the while feeling her wetness coating him, creating the perfect slickness for him to slide in and out of her.

His head pressed into the pillow below him as his hands unconsciously glided up under her nightgown; skidding across soft, smooth skin and making their way to her rounded breasts.

She moaned expectantly; picking up the pace at which she rode him; the tension in her stomach becoming more unbearable; burning an building higher.

“Please,” she whispered, almost begging him as they locked gaze with each other.

He brought his hands to his lips; momentarily breaking the contact. She almost whimpered at the loss but saw the way he licked his forefinger and thumb before his hands disappeared beneath her gown again. She felt the way his hands teasingly made their way to where she needed them; his eyes never leaving hers as he waited to see the look on her face when he brought her the pleasure she ached for. She was about to beg again when his fingers made contact with pink, taut nipples; tweaking and squeezing them between moist fingertips causing her to yell out.

Her movements became erratic as she chased her peak with the ecstasy he brought her from both his hands and his pounding cock.

She released the hold she had on his shoulder, reaching up to brace her palms against the plush, leather of her headboard.

“Oh my god!” she shouted as she pushed herself on and off his shaft; almost sliding along his lap. The material of his denim making it difficult to move as she wished; causing a slightly uncomfortable feel to pleasure she took.

Reaching down she unbuttoned his trousers; easing up slightly to tug at the clothing; his boxers and pants bunching up close to his knees. She wasted no time in retaking her position on his lap and when she slid down on him completely again, they both moaned; the jolting feeling causing Kit to sit up; meshing their bodies together.

He captured her mouth then; claiming her with soft lips. Her hands reaching to cup his face; feeling the rough stubble of his cheeks. They groaned into the kiss; both unable to sate their appetites for the other; never breaking the contact.

She took his tongue into her mouth; tasting him, reveling in the way he delved into her; their hands wrapping and grabbing each other clumsily.

Kit’s hips began a slow torturous roll with hers; his mind mostly consumed by the swollen lips he devoured but still seeking that most intimate contact with her. She pushed down into his lap;rolling and moving her hips faster; needing more than he gave.

She pulled her face away from him; taking his bottom lip between her teeth as she did.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “You’re such a filthy little girl,” he added, feeling the way her walls closed around him.

He slid the thin straps of her nightgown down her arms; allowing the garment to fall to her waist. He continued to kiss along the length of her neck and bare shoulder; her head tilted so he could have full access.

"Please," she begged.

“Please what? Tell me what you want,” he said as he peppered soft kisses against her pulse point.

“Please fuck me,” she whined, her voice husky and raw. 

He hummed low in his throat as he quickly ducked his head to suck at her hardened nipples; moving from one to the other so he could deal out his assault on them. 

He hungrily nibbled and grazed them with his teeth; evoking a pleasured yell from above.

She grabbed at his head, pushing him further against her chest; her fingers gripping at his hair.

“Oh…God…Kit,” she said breathlessly.

He lifted his head, staring up at her. “You want me to fuck you?” he asked gruffly, continuing his slow, torturous hip movement.

“Mhmm,” she whined.

“Say it,” he demanded.

“I want you to fuck..”

And before she could finish, he was pounding into her. His arms wrapped firmly around her waist as he pulled her down onto him; using the springiness of the bed for support.

Her mouth fell open; her whines turning into loud moans and her moans becoming incoherent screams. She hadn’t realized how loud she was until a hand came up to cover her mouth, creating muffled sounds that echoed in the darkness.

Her body slapped against his; their skin lightly covered in a thin sheen of sweat; the bed beginning to creek and shake from their animalistic movements.

Kit noticed the way her hands and legs began quivering; the way her palms slapped against his shoulder; not quite sure where to put them.

He removed his hand from her mouth; allowing her moans and sobs to fill the air.

It felt so good; too good. The way he filled her, the way he held her; the way the head of his cock hit her sweet spot repeatedly. There was no way she could keep quiet in all of this; no way she wasn’t about to cum.

He must have sensed it; felt the way her slick walls tightened. “Do you want to cum?” he asked through his heavy panting.

She nodded; biting down hard on her lower lip and squeezing her eyes tightly shut at the orgasm about to hit her.

“Tell me,” he ordered.

“I want to cum. Please make me cum Kit, please,” she pleaded softly. Her own movements becoming erotic and wild; the way she clutched at him while grinding and bouncing in his lap made her all the more desperate for her release.

“Emilia,” he said softly against her lips.

She opened eyes; looking down at the man before her.

“Cum for me,” he instructed and she did.

Her mouth falling open as her peak hit her fully; her body seizing and tensing; her slick walls tightening around him and that took him with her.

He captured her lips in a sloppy, passionate kiss; her moans and sobs filling his mouth. He could taste the convulsive, blinding intensity that took her over and he groaned loudly and repeatedly as his own waves hit him hard; emptying himself inside her.

He fell on his side; taking her trembling body with him. They laid like that for a few minutes, both trying to recover from their orgasms. She rolled away from him, looking at the clock and seeing that it had been a few minutes before two in the morning; the room filled with the smell of sweat, sex and their loud pants. They were sprawled and spent; unable to move; unable to speak.

He looked over at her, looking at how flushed she was; her tired body still slightly trembling, “Do you still have the rest of those Plan B pills?” he asked suddenly.

“I do,” she managed through shallow breaths.

“Good,” he said with a peculiar look on his face before erupting in a fit of laughter. "What the fuck is going on Em?" he said, his hand coming to rest against his forehead in disbelief. 

"I honestly wish I knew," she said before joining him in a weird, hollow laugh. She slowly made her way over to him; nestling her body into his side as he held her. They had failed again; failed at staying away from each other; failed at keep their hands to themselves. They needed to come clean; they needed to tell Rose and they needed to do it soon.

Even in the chaos and lies; she wanted him around. They'd get through this together; they always did. She allowed the guilty thoughts to leave her for now so she could enjoy these little moments for however long she had him. She would let him love her now; allow him to hold her; allow him to kiss her and stroke her back lovingly as she slept.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my updates have been further apart but as I've said I'm having a little trouble balancing my job with my personal projects. I also recently celebrated my birthday which left me out of commission for another day or two. I've finally made an upload on a Sunday again (yayyy) which will hopefully make it easier for me to do another update next Sunday *fingers crossed*
> 
> For those who have been understanding regarding my updates and for those who came to my defense when others weren't and defended the work I do - I love you so much!!! I see you and I appreciate you! Your comments continue to lift my spirit and make me smile daily - every single one of them!!! ❤
> 
> Thank you for the continued love and support! Thanks for the kudos and beautiful comments! It honestly means so much! Hope you enjoy the chapter and remember to spread love daily xoxo

Kit’s face twisted into a distasteful grimace; his muddled reflection staring back at him from the bowl of liquid he was looking into.

“What am I eating?” he asked hesitantly. He lifted his gaze, looking to each individual that sat around the table with him.

Nathalie released a chuckle before addressing his timid curiosity, “It’s minestrone soup. I have it here every time I’m in the area,” she said as she took a mouthful from her own bowl.

“Stop being a child and try it,” Emilia urged. She sat across from him; a playful smile on her face.

“I’m not being a child. I just want to know what I’m eating,” he added stubbornly.

“Drink your soup Mr. Harington. It’s quite good,” Peter insisted as he stuck his fork into the green leafy salad dish he was having.

“That’s easy for you to say, you _know_ what you’re eating.”

Peter laughed at that, “I’ve actually had that before and it’s not bad.”

He glared at the man next to him; his eyes squinting behind the circular frames of his glasses.

He lifted a spoonful of the oddly shaped noodles and vegetables to his lips before taking it in cautiously. Emilia, Alfie, Peter and Nathalie watched him closely to garner his reaction. 

He observed the bowl before him as he chewed; allowing all the different flavors and textures to pass over his tongue slowly. He lifted his gaze; his mouth moving steadily; tasting and testing the contents within.

“Well? How is it?” Emilia asked impatiently.

“It’s not bad,” Kit grumbled, his voice barely above a whisper; he broke out into a small, shy smile; not wanting to admit he was enjoying his minestrone soup.

The table erupted in laughter; other patrons looking at them curiously to see what the uproar was about; some simply eavesdropping. 

“I told you,” Nathalie said over the fits of laughter.

One spoon had followed another and another; until the bowl was nearly empty. It was good; better than he had expected but he would never tell them; he would never confess to such a thing.

They wanted one final meal together; the airport being not more than half an hour away. It was the least they could do while they waited for their flights to come in. They wouldn’t see each other for a few more months and though they longed to be with their loved ones; these were good people; people they grew accustomed to; people they spent half the year with for the past 7 years.

They sat back in their seats; relaxed and filled; chatting quietly.

Emilia and Kit sat amidst them; partaking when they could; exchanging little glances with each other when they weren’t. They were anxious; anxious and nervous. Their lives were about to change; a shift that would not come easy; a shift that would turn their normalcy to hell; a shift they had to be ready for.

“So what’s the plan man? When are you popping the question?” Alfie asked out of the blue.

Kit nearly choked on the french fry he untimely popped into his mouth from his grilled sirloin platter, “What?” he managed through small coughs.

The table went quiet; listening curiously; surrounding conversations subsided as they waited for an answer.

Nathalie looked over at a tense, uncomfortable Emilia; her blue green eyes trained on the man before her. She tried to hide the nervousness but Nathalie knew her; she saw it plain as day; saw right through the façade she tried so hard to cover herself in.

Emilia reached for her glass of water; taking a careful sip before locking eyes with Kit.

“We’re working through some things before actually taking that step. I mean, we’ll see how things go.”

“Well hurry up, you can’t be a bachelor forever," Alfie said.

“He’s not. He’s basically married to the girl. How long has it been? 5 years?” Peter interjected.

“Just about,” he gave a slow awkward nod before taking a sip of his beer; his eyes quickly glancing over at Emilia who was staring intensely at him.

"Who's up for dessert?" Nathalie chimed in excitedly, completely shifting the focus to a lighter topic.

"I don't think I could have another bite," Peter said, rubbing his stomach.

"I could have some, if you share with me," Emilia smiled sweetly over at the curly haired beauty.

"Sounds good," Nathalie replied with a bright, warm stretch of the lips that made her eyes twinkle.

"I can't wait to get home in my own bed. God knows I've grown tired of these fucking hotels," Alfie said with a shake of his head as he finished his steak; lowering his knife and fork next to his plate.

"Amen to that," Peter added.

The conversation slowly faded away as Emilia, Nathalie and Kit browsed their dessert menus; the others scrolling through their phones, checking to see if their flights were still on schedule. 

────────────────

 

They boarded the small cast bus; Peter singing a song of the _Dornishman's Wife _that he had learned from his dear friend and costar, Jerome Flynn. The others laughed as he chanted gleefully; his theatrical gestures causing him to sway from side to side; the others eventually joining in; humming and chorusing right along with him.  
__

__At the end of their merry song, they applauded and cheered; sounds of 'ayes' and hoots ringing through the cheery atmosphere. The anxiety they felt about going home, long forgotten and now replaced by excitement and shear comradery._ _

____

"What's it like?" Emilia asked Peter amid the laughter and loud chatter.

He turned to the woman who sat next to him in the first row of the mini bus; noticed the way she stared earnestly into the distance. The others weren't meant to hear or be a part of the conversation he realized; she was deep in thought; her mind going places that made her heart wrench and her chest feel constricted.

"What's what like love?" he asked quietly.

"Having someone to go home to?" she paused; garnering the courage to continue. "Having someone waiting eagerly for you?" Her chest heaving slightly from all her pent up emotions.

A sympathetic smile crossed his lips as he stared at her thoughtfully; completely disinterested in the conversation that the scattered group behind them engaged in.

"It's a blessing. I'm grateful," he finally answered; thinking of his daughter; thinking of his wife. He was an extremely lucky man.

She turned to meet his gaze then; her eyes sad and glistening with tears. She nodded mutely as she folded her lips inward, lightly biting down on her lips; lowering her head to hide the evident weakness that settled there.

"Is everything okay?" he asked as he ducked his head to find her gaze.

She nodded again; trying to conceal her watery feelings. She could hear him in the background; hear him happily chatting with the others behind her.

She'd miss him terribly; miss the time with him; miss the closeness of him. They hadn't been apart in almost five months and now they were heading to opposite sides of London. She had thought about this day; thought about the inevitable separation. She had envisioned how she would feel but nothing prepared her for the quaking tension that was building inside her.

"I'm fine. I'm just feeling a little...."

"Lonely?" He asked curiously.

"Yes. I guess, I am," she said thoughtfully; realization finally dawning on her.

His hand went to cover the one that gripped her knee; reassuring her; urging her to look at him, and when she did, her eyes were written with so many things he didn't understand, but things he had seen before.

"Your time will come. I just know it. Trust me. Any man would be happy to have you in their life," he said sweetly; his tone soft and genuine.

She smiled at that; a lopsided thing that only made her look dopey instead of convinced. She threw a quick glance over her shoulder, only to catch the gaze of the man this whole conversation was about. He looked at her from where he sat, two rows away; his gaze concerned and knitted.

She broke the connection; shifting her focus back to Peter as he squeezed her hand lovingly. 

────────────────

 

They showed up at the busy airport; the late afternoon buzz was surrounding them; scores of people recognizing who they were and stopping to stare and whisper; the air was filled with it; stained with curiosity and excitement.

The cast exited the bus; pulling and tugging at pieces of luggage from the back of the vehicle. They could feel eyes on them; feel the way the crowded airport ceased to stare upon the familiar faces; to anxiously await their _walk of fame_.

They handed over the bags and suitcases before turning into a sea of fans that eagerly wanted their attention. They signed pictures, magazine pages and posters before hurriedly making their way through the enormous space; dedicated fans continuing to shout their names, as they rushed by. They'd wave then; wave and smile as usual, not wanting to hesitate too much and risk missing their planes.

They handed over their documents; gathered together to have one final chat under the watchful eyes of smitten onlookers. It hadn’t taken long before the intercom announced that their flights would have started boarding soon.

Peter was the only one who'd separate at this point; the other four expecting to board the same plane to London. Peter shook hands with his costars; bidding them farewell; being pulled into a few hugs before throwing his black leather jacket over his shoulder and directed his sunglasses gaze towards his terminal; the others watching him disappear into the swarming distance.

Emilia and Nathalie lagged behind a talking Kit and Alfie; the girls locking arms with each other as they strolled to the terminal of their Aer Lingus aircraft. The flash of cameras and quick clicks filled the space of their hurried stroll. 

Emilia found that she was feeling a bit better; her spirit finally settling comfortably in her skin. Flying had always calmed her. She wasn't so sure what it was but just being so high up gave her such a potent thrill; a gleeful rush that made everything else just fade away.

As they made their way between the rows of seat; several individuals smiled shyly up at them; some waved; others were terrifyingly star struck at the faces that passed above them. They always waved back of course; never missing a chance to mumble a quick hi or hello at the ones who recognized who they were.

The group got settled into their seats; Emilia sandwiched between Kit and Nathalie. She gathered she should feel a tad bit nervous at the seating arrangement but strangely she wasn’t. She sat there; completely content and completely relaxed; smiling unknowingly at her sudden change in mood.

Of course her lonely thoughts had been plaguing her, especially after her conversation with Peter but she pushed them so far down that she could pretend they didn’t really exist at all. _How lucky for her_. 

"Are you okay?" Kit whispered; pulling her completely from her self-talk.

She looked to her right; smiling sweetly over at him; her eyes squinted and shining. "Yes, I am actually. How are you?"

"I'm... nervous. Can you believe it? I'm nervous to go home," he said shakily.

"I know," she paused; sneaking a quick glance over at her other friend next to her. She seemed too preoccupied with the screen embedded in the back of the seat in front of her to notice anything else; her eyebrows together in confusion as she pressed curiously, trying her best to navigate her way around the device.

Alfie too was also otherwise engaged; his finger mindlessly swiping as he stared down at his phone.

She took that as her chance to comfort Kit; she swiftly but cautiously placed her hand in his; their hands intertwined on the armrest they shared. She lifted her gaze to him; her eyes soft and caring.

He lightly squeezed her hand; his own little way of letting her know he appreciated the risk in such a public setting. He smiled at her before she slowly slid her small hands from his; his heart wrenching at the loss of contact. His gaze fell to his empty hand; wishing he could enjoy those moments more; wish they could have as many of those moments without questions and prying eyes.

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked in a hushed tone.

His head snapped back to look at her; her eyes waiting and lenient. He smiled softly before replying.  
“I don’t know if…”

“I’ll stay away at first, you can talk to her or we can talk to her together but I’m not letting you go through this alone. I’ll come to Suffolk eventually and help you through this… once you’re done of course.”

Kit was shocked by her words; he didn’t know what to think; his head swimming with all the horrid ways this could go. Having her there would make it easier; he knew that much. It would cushion the devastation; give him the courage he needed to do such an awful, selfish thing. It would be easier for them but not for Rose.

“When I tell Rose, there’s going to be major fallout. Are you ready for that? Are you prepared to handle that?”

“I’m not sure,” she said hesitantly. “I just know I want to be there with you.”

“I know and I get that but don’t you think you being there would only make it worse?”

“I’m going to have to see her some time. You tell Rose what you have to and then she can have a shot at me,” she paused to think of how that would go; if she was truly ready to face Rose after she knew everything. She looked over at him. “We’ll get it over with once and for all,” she whispered. “I’m not going to hide from her forever. She deserves to hear the truth, from both of us.”

“Yeah, well Rose has never been the type of woman to take her pain in installments.”

“Who is?” she asked with a nervous chuckle.

He’s seeking a change in topic; something to take his mind away from his inevitable fate. He perked up; turned almost fully in his seat with a huge grin plastered on his face.

She smiled back at him suspiciously; anxiously awaiting the next words to come from him.

“So what are you going to do when you get home?” he asked animatedly.

She laughed at the childish excitement etched on his face; her cheeks turning into a light shade of pink as her hand comes up to suppress the giggly sounds from her.

“I’m not sure as yet. I mean mum will be visiting in a few weeks which means I’m definitely going home to an empty house but I’ll keep busy. I’ll catch up with some friend, binge watch my shows and go see some plays or something,” she ended; trying her best to not make it sound as pathetic as she felt.

His eyes dropped to a more sympathetic gaze; he could see that she didn’t want to go home to nothing. He could kick himself for not seeing it early; for not realizing that she would be alone until things were sorted out and he wish he could change that for her. He wished he could be there for her in that way but it wasn’t to be; not yet any way.

“You can call me whenever; I don’t care what time it is. You call me okay? Whenever you’re bored or need someone to talk to, don’t be afraid to dial my number,” he said with sweetest, most loving smile on his face.

“I know,” she replied in a soft, jaunty tone.

He dipped his head to hide a kittenish flush that crossed his bearded cheeks; he turned quickly to survey their surroundings. To his pleasure, they had no audience; everyone busying themselves or engaged in fierce chatter.

Emilia quickly cleared her throat and brought her hand away from the armrest, to clasp them in her lap; willing herself to behave. “So, when do you think you’ll do it?”

Kit’s eyebrows came together before he realized what she was referring to, “I don’t know just yet but I’d like to go home and get settled first before I see her; drive over to her house, explain the situation and try to get her to understand.”

“I don’t know why but I don’t see that going well,” Emilia said in a low tone.

Kit released a long breath; his eyes intensely locked onto hers. “Neither do I. You know the more I think of it, the more I realize that things weren’t as perfect between us as I thought and no matter how hard we tried, it just always felt like something was missing.”

“Oh,” Emilia said, not quite sure how to respond to this sudden burst of truth.

“We would fight sometimes over the most ridiculous things,” he stopped to shake his head at a particular memory that he didn’t bother sharing with Emilia and she allowed it to pass.

“Once it’s done and if you need me, I’m just a phone call away. I’ll go to a nearby pub and wait there.”

“I know,” he said returning the same soft sentiment as she did earlier; his eyes shimmery and hooded as he stared at the woman next to him and he wondered how they could have taken this long to realize what could have been; what should have been. It was dumb of him to ignore all those signs; to allow so much time to pass between them.

She realized his thoughts were straying; leading him away from the present and she sensed just how far he was; she returned the same tender stare and he licked his lips as her eyes reflected an equal, indescribably depth.

It was almost impossible to resist the urge when his eyes dropped to pink, full lips; wanting to relive their more intimate moments; wanting to drink her in one final time before they left each other.

Her eyes followed his; seeing the way his gaze lingered on her mouth; knowing exactly where his minded had ended up. Her stomach flipped; her hands clasping painfully tight in her lap, _wishing_ he would break the rules and claim her; to hell with everything else.

Just then the fasten your seat belt light came on and the attendants made their way down the aisles; demonstrating the safety procedures that they themselves could recite and act out due to the number of times they’ve seen it.

The plane took off and steadied in the air before he bent slightly to whisper close to her ear, “Up for some mile high club fun?”

Her skin felt warm and the light flush that rose up to her cheeks was now turning a deep crimson; her eyes went wide and her head spun around to face him. The warm breath he left on her ear still making her skin tingle.

“Are you bloody mad?” she shrieked; making Nathalie, Alfie and a few nearby passengers turn to look at them.

She smiled to her friends, reassuring them that everything was fine and as soon as their questioning gaze left them, she looked back to a now snickering Kit.

“I was only joking,” he started. “But _that_ reaction was definitely worth it.”

“So you think this is funny uh?” an exasperated breath left her, “Bloody wanker.”

“Such a potty mouth and I think it’s hilarious actually” he said, a slight teasing tone in his voice.

She glared over at him; her fist nearly balling in her lap and her body tense and upright in the plush leathery seat.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still trying to suppress a small laugh. “I’ll make it up to you the next time we’re on a flight together. I promise,” he ended with a knowing wink.

Her cheeks must have been on fire at this point; her skin feeling hot and sensitive. She tried her best to suppress a smile but her efforts were pointless. Her thoughts had gone to other places; places she shouldn’t be thinking about in the presence of so many strangers and friends alike.

She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat; her skin becoming all too aware of the leather beneath her; her thin white pants doing nothing to save her. The wetness between her legs threatened to take over her; threatened to cause her more trouble than she could handle right now.

“Have you noticed that all the attendants are male? I’ve never seen that before,” Nathalie whispered to them both as she leaned in.

They both looked up; observing the aisles and realizing just the same. Emilia secretly thanked the gods for the change in topic as it would be no fun controlling her thought whilst being this close to the catalyst.

“Oh wow,” Emilia said astonishingly; her eyes searching the plane.

“I know right,” Nathalie chuckled. “And they’re not bad looking either,” she said as she adjusted the lapels on her woolen coat.

“You’d date an attendant? They’re almost never around,” Kit said irritably.

“How’s that any different from our own job?” Emilia interjected.

“She’s got a point there Harington,” Nathalie added, as she continued to tend to her appearance.

“Of course I do,” she said; her cockiness taking Kit by surprise.

“You’re feeling awfully confident over there aren’t you?”

“Of course not, I absolutely _hate_ being right all the time,” she teased.

Kit stared at her; his gaze darkening as she became the picture of charm and allure; one brow perfectly arched and the corner of her lip turned up in a defiant smirk. It was moments like this that made resisting her a hefty task. His stare became hard and loaded; as if asking her whether she really wanted to do this here; if she really wanted to push him like this.

There was a clearing of throat before they snapped out of their staring contest. They broke the contact to see Nathalie looking over at them; a knowing smile on her face; a questioning look in her eyes.

“I’m breaking this up. Whatever it is, I’m breaking it up right now. Behave,” Nathalie insisted.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kit laughed as he turned to speak to Alfie who was watching something on his phone; earphones tucked in his ears.

“What’s going on with you two?” Nathalie whispered to her friend.

“Nothing,” she said as a small blush crept up her neck; her cheeks so high, causing her eyes to squint.

“Ahh, don’t lie to me Em! I can see it all over your face. C’mon, just tell me,” she begged.

“Nothing’s going on. I promise.”

Nathalie looked back at her with her eyebrows raised and her face slowly turning into a frown. “Fine but if something changes, you’ll tell me right away. Got it?”

Emilia stared back at her friend and noticed the eagerness at which she spoke. She knew she needed someone to talk to about these things and she knew Nathalie would support her no matter what but this particular time was so sensitive. She didn’t want to jinx anything.

After all nothing had happened yet; nothing major at least. Sure they had sex again but that could be divulged at any time. They had plans; plans that made her anxious to the core but she much preferred seeing how they played out before rushing to tell anyone right now. It was too damn important to her.

The flight had gone by in a haze for Emilia. Her eyes had gotten heavy and her head had dipped a few times before Kit had gently guided it to his shoulder. She drifted into dreamland; her mind taking her to sour places with uncomfortable cloudiness; an atmosphere of dangerous uncertainty.

Kit watched as her eyelids lightly fluttered and her body became slightly distressed; his fingers lightly stroke and trailed along her forearm when no one was looking; it was all he could do in these public moments to soothe her. He wanted to lay a soft kiss against her hair but this was not the setting for such pleasantries; things were too difficult and complicated for any of that. 

They landed at the Heathrow Airport in London; going through the same hassles as before; searching for luggage and trying to make it through camera flashes and adoring fans to get to their next destination.

This would be where they’d leave each other; this would be where he would have to say his goodbyes to her; in the middle of the buzzing and chaos. It wasn’t ideal; none of this was ideal. 

They busied themselves; stopping to sign autographs and take pictures; stretching the moments longer; not looking forward to what would eventually come next.

Nathalie had called her agent to make sure her car was waiting outside for her; nodding her head towards Emilia when she heard that it was.

The brunette looked over at Kit with sad, soft eyes; relaying to him her frustration of having to do this intimate farewell in such a public space. 

He returned the gaze, knowing that _he_ would have to catch another flight to Suffolk in an hour and she would not be with him.

“So…” Emilia began awkwardly as she strolled over to stand next to him; staring through the large expanse of glass into the parking lot of the airport. Her gaze hadn’t met his; their bodies merely inches apart.

“So…” he responded, just as awkwardly. “You’re leaving soon.”

“Yup,” she replied as she rocked back and forth on her toes and heels; her thumbs tucked into the loop her pants. “And you’re going home.”

“Uh huh. You’re carpooling with Nathalie?”

“That’s right.”

“You guys be safe on the road, _please_ ,” he said with so much emotion and conviction that she had to turn her head to look up at him.

That’s when he turned to meet her own gaze; brown fiery and intense, locked onto blue green orbs. They held each other’s stare; his eyes fixed on the soft, heart bleeding look her face beheld. He ached to think that he would be without her for a while; ached to think that she would be on the other side of the country all together.

His arms itched to pull her close and kiss her fiercely; his fingers tingling to brush up against her smooth, supple skin but he couldn’t and so he did the next best thing. He pulled her flush against him; his arms wrapped so tightly around her.

She was taken aback by the sudden action; not expecting this display of affection but did not hesitate in wrapping her own arms around his neck; standing on tiptoes to lay her chin on his shoulder. They stayed like that for a few seconds; their eyes squeezed shut; enjoying each other’s warmth; taking in each other’s scent fully; trying their hardest to etch the feel in their minds for those days or weeks when they would be apart. It was almost impossible to forget but enough of an excuse to savor and prolong the moment.

“Uh, guys?” Nathalie said from behind Emilia; causing them to eventually come apart.

Emilia’s eyes began burning; her heart twisting and pounding painfully against her chest.

Kit saw the way her eyes glistened; the way she held her head solely towards Nathalie; the way she refused to meet his gaze.

His own eyes became heavy and hooded; the weight of the moment causing his heart to quicken and the corners of his lips to droop. He tucked his hands into the pockets of his denim pants; lowering his head to avoid seeing what he knew was there. He won’t be able to console her now, not with his own weakness burning so fiercely on his face. He could hardly console himself. Bearing witness to her own struggle to conceal her emotions would be too much; it would break him; it would make leaving so much harder. 

Plus he knew she hated being _weak_ ; knew that if he acknowledged it, she would hate herself so much more for it; she was strong and she was proud, that much he knew.

She pushed her sunglasses over her face; running her fingers very quickly through her shoulder length hair; shaking off the emotions that weighed heavily on them. She finally looked up at him; her feelings somewhat masked.

“I’ll see you,” she said hastily; with a slight nod.

He over at her; his exposed thumb played with the wool material of his sweater; pushing his hands further into his pockets. “Okay. Let me know when you get in.”

“I will,” she responded with a wry smile.

“Later Nat,” he said to the curly haired woman.

“Bye darling,” Nathalie said, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on his cheek.

He watched them as they made their way through the glass automatic doors; Emilia’s hair blowing wildly around her in the evening sunlight as she made her way to the car. 

────────────────

 

The ride had been tiresome; Nathalie kept asking about her relationship with Kit and she stuck to her story that there was nothing happening currently; she had pulled out her phone several times to check on her messages; feeling a pang of disappointment when she saw there were no messages to read. She had almost given up when her notification went off in the middle of her idle chatter with her friend.

Upon glancing at her phone; her face lit up and she sat upright in the passenger seat.

Nathalie noticed her sudden change and peered at her oddly while she drove. She need not question who it was; she already knew.

_K: Still waiting to board…_

_E: They’re taking an awfully longtime_

_K: Tell me about it. How far are you guys?_

_E: We’re almost in Hayes now. I’m so tired_

_K: Same here_

_K: I miss you_

Emilia looked up from her phone; her face glowing with a toothy grin that she could not control. She shook her head; willing herself to gather her wits and focus on maintaining her composure.

“Having fun over there?” Nathalie asked suddenly, keeping her eyes locked on the road.

Emilia stared back at her; a sly grin playing on her lips; the question hanging in the space between them. She lowered her gaze to her phone again; her fingers tapping madly on her screen.

_E: I miss you too_

_K: God, I had no idea it would be like this_  
_E: Like what?_

_K: Being away from you. I had no idea it would be this hard_

_E: I know. I wasn’t exactly handling it well_

_K: I saw. You’re so cute when you get teary eyed :p_

_E: No I’m not. Stop!!_

_K: You’re too far away to hit me! Make me ;)_

She openly laughed out; quickly covering her mouth as she did; immediately cutting off the sound.

“Emilia!” Nathalie warned. “What’s going on? Tell me right now!”

“I told you already, nothing is happening. We’re just texting. Gosh!” she exasperated, her smile never wavering.

“I swear to god you better tell me everything when I see you next time!” Nathalie snapped, her perfect brows twisting into a frown.

“I promise babe,” she said before leaning over and hugging her friend’s shoulders.

Nathalie gave Emilia the best side eye she could afford without taking her eyes off the road for too long.

Emilia erupted in laughter before turning her gaze to her phone.

_E: Lol that’s bloody impossible Harington_

_K: How so?_

_E: I’m on the other side of the country you buffoon_

_K: You’re not nice and don’t remind me :(_

_E: I know right. Don’t miss me too much tho_

_K: I’ll miss you too much and a whole lot me more_

Emilia lifted her gaze; staring through her window; observing the green lands and buildings they drove past; deliberating with herself whether she should send the next message she wanted so badly to type.

_E: I’m going to fuck you dry the next time I see you_

There’s a pause before she saw him typing again.

_K: EM don’t!!!!_

_E: Mmm?_

_K: You can’t say those things to me when you’re not here to make good on your threat_

_E: No threat my dear. It’s a promise ;)_

_K: Fuck… you’re seriously making me hard in the middle of the airport_

_E: I don’t know what you’re talking about_

_K: That innocent act won’t work with me missy. Remember I’ve been your best friend for years, I know what that mind and mouth is capable of_

_E: You have no idea what my mouth is capable of… not yet anyway_

_K: Emilia Clarke stop this madness right now!!!_

_E: Ok fine_

_K: God!!_

_E: Are you ok Mr. Harington?_

_K: -_-_

_E: LMAO!!!_

_K: I’m going to get you back for this_

_E: I’m sure you will_

A few minutes go by before she heard from him again; she occupied her mind with filthy thoughts; thinking about using her hands to make him groan for her; using her tongue to make him beg for her. 

She stirred in her seat; her underwear becoming increasingly damp at the delicious thought.

Her phone buzzed again.

_K: I’m about to board, I’ll talk to you later <3_

She stared at the phone; stared at the heart at the end of the sentence. She knew it was a simple gesture; a sweet one but it struck a chord with her; made her inside warm and her spirit light and giddy. It made her hope for things; made her want for even more. Though she tried to remain objective; tried to be detached from the outcome, there was a part of her, a selfish part of her that wanted him all to herself; a part that wanted him to find his way back to her soon.

The thought had comforted her into a deep sombrous sleep; she had curled into the passenger seat; her bare feet tucked under her; her arms wrapped around herself as she slept.

She wasn’t sure how long it had been but she stirred to a conscious state when she felt the motions of the vehicle come to a stop. She sat upright, slowly realizing her location; her hands forming loose fists that went to rub over her forehead as she stretched.

“You’re home sleepy head,” Nathalie said as she turned to face her groggy friend.

She pulled her legs from beneath her; feeling the soft mat of the car cushioning her bare toes and soles. “I’m so bloody tired,” she expressed.

“You can sleep when you get inside,” Nathalie added.

The curly haired woman exited the car, followed shortly by Emilia. They made their way to the trunk; unloading the luggage; Nathalie assisting her friend in getting the full bags inside the foyer space of the six bedroom home.

They spoke for a little while over cups of tea before Nathalie had to head out; she had an hour drive ahead of her and to be honest, the exhaustion was starting to swallow her whole. 

Emilia stepped back into her foyer after following Nathalie through the door and seeing her off. She stood in the space there; feeling the emptiness of the house; the hollowness that screamed at her. It all felt so strange now; knowing she could have had someone there with her but the reality of it all but evading her once again.

She wrapped her arms around her torso and pressed her back against the hardness of the front door; feeling the grits and carvings against her clothed skin. She stared into the semi-darkness of the house; feeling the void and bareness of it all sinking in.

She pulled her phone from her pocket; checking for any messages. He hadn’t responded just yet but she typed all the same; hoping to get a text back soon.  


_E: I’m home. Hope you’re ok. Have a safe flight._

She tucked the device in her pocket; sighing loudly as she looked over at the large suitcases and two additional carryon bags that needed to be unpacked. She lazily grabbed the handles; lugging them up the stairs with her in the echoing silence. 

Kit pulled up at his home; paid the taxi driver and made his way inside. He felt the vibration of his phone against his thigh as he clumsily made his way through the large door of his brick house. He pulled the bags into the living room area without turning the lights on; his heavy booted feet creating echoing thuds against the hardwood floor.

He pulled the phone from his pocket; his face stretching into a smile as he saw Emilia’s name on the screen. He released the handle of the suitcase and slid the strap of his other bag from his shoulder. He unlocked the device and began typing when he heard a weird sound come from somewhere behind him. 

He spun around; suddenly feeling a shift in the atmosphere. He should have noticed it before but he had been distracted by the text message. Something felt wrong; something felt out of place. Someone was inside the house with him.

A chill ran through him, causing him to shiver slightly; he slowly began walking through the living room, in the direction he heard the noise; his footsteps the only other sign of life. He was about to go upstairs when there was a rushed tap on his shoulder; he spun around quickly; his heart quickening; his pulse racing.

He was about to throw a blind punch at whoever had been intruding when there was a sudden weight on him; legs wrapped around his waist; arms around his neck and a familiar perfume he knew all too well.

“Welcome home kitten,” she squealed.

His heart still jumped at the voice he hadn’t heard in so long; his arms still at his side; the shock causing him to react slowly.

She lifted her head from the crook of his neck; her fire hair sweeping past his cheek and dangling around her face.

“Hey,” he said, a nervous smile creeping on his lips. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

Blue eyes stared back at him; her face flushed from the quick impact of the surprise; her lips wide from her excited smile. “You’re a strong man, that wouldn’t kill ya,” she teased.

He laughed at that; his arms finally coming up to wrap around her. "How did you get in?"

"You gave me a spare remember? Just in case I said yes?"

"Oh, right. I did."

"Are you okay?" she asked, her eyes filled with concern.

"Yeah. Just a bit tired."

"Okay," she said; never bothering to prolong the issue. Instead, she quickly lowered her head; meshing their lips together before loosening her legs and jumping away from him. "So I was thinking we could move the kitchen downstairs and move this couch over there by that huge window," she spoke as she pointed around the room.

"Whoa! You waste no time do you?" he laughed.

"That's why you love me kitten," she said with a seductive wink. "I'm going to make us some dinner. You can bring your bags upstairs and take a shower. We'll talk more about this when I get some food in ya," she said; placing a kiss on his cheek and jogging up the stairs to the kitchen.

He turned around; his gaze following her. He watched the enthusiastic way her bare feet padded against the wooden floor; the free child like way in which she leapt up the stairs to make him dinner.

He felt it swelling inside his chest; something Emilia had felt a few days ago when Rose had called her; he felt the guilt. He finally understood why she wanted to call off the entire thing; this woman before him was so thrilled, so ecstatic to start a life with him. How could he take that away from her? How could he?

So much had changed though; so much had happened. This would be incredibly hard to do but he knew he had to do it.

Emilia was about to go to bed when she saw her phone light up; she knew it had to be him. She reached for the device; stretching across her bed; her spirit soaring high from seeing his name in her notifications. Her smile grew as she opened it but her heart quickly sank as she read the content.

_K: She was here when I got home. I don't know what to do :(_

She stared blankly and unmoving at her screen before gently tossing the phone to the other side of her king sized bed and turning her back on the device; mentally blocking the message she just saw.

It wasn't his fault and she knew it; it wasn't either of their faults, especially not Rose’s. It was her own fault for getting her hopes high and thinking this would be easy. She could only blame herself. 

────────────────

 

A few days had gone by without a word from Kit. Few days turned into a week and that’s when she saw him calling; for the first time in 7 days. 

Should she answer? _Of course not_. She ignored it; allowed it to ring; watched it ring and stop and then ring again. She went about her day; paying attention to her childhood friend who sat across from her; eventually turning the phone face down on the table between them as they enjoyed a beautiful lunch date on the street side of her favorite local restaurant.

He hadn't called back and she never tried contacting either. It was now close to three weeks and nothing had changed between them; no plan had taken course; no words to fix what was taking place.

He had left her messages throughout that time and they had gone unread; messages she never bothered opening; messages she knew wouldn’t make much of a difference. 

────────────────

 

She pulled into _his_ driveway that Sunday afternoon; the sun casting an orange glow on the Victorian styled house. She's never been here before; never seen his new home. This would be a bitter sweet meeting; a meeting that brought bile to her already tight throat but made her slightly excited and nervous to see him after so long. There was anger too; a white blanket of anger that covered everything else; an anger that was justified and not misplaced in the least.

_This was not the plan; this was never the plan. Why was she even here?_

She walked up to the huge wooden door; her hand meshed with her traveling companion for the evening. He looked over at her and she smiled; their steps creating quick taps on the stone pathway.

She knocked on the door; waiting on their hosts to come greet them; knowing that one would be more excited to see her than the other.

The door swung open, revealing a beautiful redhead in an emerald sheer dress; the light material swaying around her ankles with every slight movement; her shoulder length hair framing her perfectly freckled face.

“Emilia! Hey! Wow,” she said, her voice higher than usual as she recognized Emilia’s companion. 

Kit was mixing and mingling with the friends and some family members they haven’t seen in a while. Smiling and laughing at the jokes that weren’t even that funny. His mind preoccupied with one person. He had messaged her earlier; asked if she was coming, wondered if they could have a conversation with Rose together. He was having such a difficult time doing this on his own; every time he tried, he would get sidetracked by something she would do or say. 

He needed Emilia for this and he tried to tell her but all his messages had gone unanswered. He couldn’t blame her; he had been so absent; so distant and it had hurt him just as much as it had hurt her. He didn’t know what to say to her or how to say it and now they might all be in the same room together soon.

He was balancing a tray of drinks to a nearby table in the huge living room area; they had cleared out the pieces of furniture to make room for their guests to mingle and gather. He lowered the tray and was approached by one of Rose’s friends when his _beloved_ called out for him.

“Kit darling, come look who it is!”

He excused himself from the blonde woman and rushed over to where he heard Rose shouting from the hall area. He rounded the corner, entering the light filled foyer; anxious to see who it was; already having his suspicions. He came to a screeching halt when his eyes met with blue green ones; completely shocked at the sight before him.

She wore a knee length white dress that flared at the waist; her black leather jacket matched her strappy heels and her red lipstick made her olive skin bright and glowing. She had swept her hair to the side majestically; her delicate hands clutching a black purse in front of her. She looked amazing; breathtaking; absolutely stunning.

It took everything to control his racing heart but it wasn’t her striking look that had him unable to move; unable to speak. It was the person she was with; standing closely behind her was a man he knew all too well; a man _she_ knew all too well.

“Honey, you remember Seth don’t you?” Rose said cheerfully; hiding the confusion behind a broad smile; completely oblivious to the complexity of the situation.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thoroughly enjoyed writing this chapter. The different sides of myself that I had to tap into to get these three person's perspectives took me to such a delightful place. It's a super long chapter, though I know it will be over way too quickly once you're reading. It just felt so long to me but I wanted to take the time to craft the plot and the characters as best as I could.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Thanks for the support and the continued love, comments and kudos! Much love to all of you xoxo

“Honey, you remember Seth don’t you?” Rose said cheerfully; hiding the confusion behind a broad smile; completely oblivious to the complexity of the situation.

There's an awkward silence that begins to swell between the four of them; something that makes the silence visible and piercing. Kit stood facing them; his hands slowly balling into white, numbing fists by his sides; clenching and unclenching as he stood observing the irksome scene before him.

He released them all together; taking a quick, calming breath whilst counting to ten in his head.

"Of course I do," he said to Rose, his voice so flat and careful. He wavered next to the redheaded beauty; his face unreadable and plain; his eyes never leaving the cool ones of the man behind Emilia.

The brunette tried her very best to ignore the way her chest tightened at the sight of him. It wasn't an unusual occurrence but this was no place for it. She remained poise; lifting her chin high; her eyes steely and confident.

"It's good to see you again," Seth said as he leaned past his date; one arm outstretched to the man giving him the intense gaze.

Kit's eyes flickered down to the waiting hand before turning to Emilia; his face stern and rigid, "Did you find the place okay?"

For her, it was hard to meet his eyes and so she stared over at Seth while she answered, "Yes, _we_ did," she answered casually. Her posture never once faltering.

"Excellent! Well you guys enjoy. Emilia, it's so good to see you, as always," the redhead leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her friend’s cheek.

Kit anxiously watched the encounter; his insides trembling with seething anger for the unexpected visitor.

His eyes quickly flickered to Emilia's face; secretly daring her to look at him; to make some kind of contact with him so he could read whatever was being conveyed in those eyes; on that face.

She does but it doesn't last very long; there's a quick flash of something in the eye contact; something he doesn't have time to decipher before she's looking away again.

_What did any of this mean?_

She turned away from them both; looking past them to grasp the hand of the man behind her; leading away and into the mix of people who converged in the living room.

She made a quick note of Kit when she walked by; took note of the tension that held his body; took note of the way his jaw tightened but it was a _quick note_. Not enough to ruin her night or even cause her to spare a second glance in his direction. 

Kit watched them go by; watched them join the other guests in the living room; his fingernails now digging into the palm of his hands again. 

_What was she playing at?_

"Well that was awkward," he heard Rose say from behind him.

She noticed that Kit said nothing; noticed the way he stared after the pair; noticed the uneasiness that rocked him.

"What is he even doing here?" he said more to himself than to the woman next to him.

"Who?" Rose asked curiously.

As if pulled from his thoughts and discovering her presence, he quickly spun around to face her. "You know who."

"Kit," she warned.

"I mean, why is he here? Why would she even allow him back into her life after all the shit he's done?" he said with a questioning frown.

"She's a grown woman Kit. She can make her own decisions. I'm sure she knows what she's doing," Rose ended conclusively but Kit doesn't hear a word.

He doesn't see the way she stared over at him as he tried to tear his gaze away from them; he doesn't see.

She grappled for his hand, tugging him from his distracting thoughts; pulling him closer to her. "C'mon kitten. Leave them be. Try to have some fun okay?"

He does look at her then; a flat smile gracing his face; a smile that goes nowhere near his eyes.

 

Kit entered the living room once Rose headed upstairs to the kitchen; he needed to speak with _her_. He needed to understand what the hell she was doing; what the hell she was thinking bringing this man into his _home_. He knew their plans had been derailed but it wasn't over. It was far from being over, at least for him anyway.

He had no idea what was going on between her and Mr. MacFarlane but it didn't sit right with him. It gave him a gnawing feeling at the pit of his stomach; an uncomfortable, restless thing that made it difficult to see or think of anything else.

He stood speaking with his roommate from college when he noticed Emilia had stepped away from the crowded area to stare out the large open window that gave a spectacular view of the backyard. She looked thoughtfully into the darkness; her hair slowly wisping at the nape of her neck; the breeze from the pool area cool and crisp against her face.

He excused himself and strutted purposefully to her; not giving her time to be aware of his oncoming presence.

His eyes were trained on her; his head swimming with things he wanted to voice; things that needed to be said. He leaned closely to her ear; his nostrils struck suddenly by her glorious scent. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?' he said in a hushed tone.

It was out his mouth before his lips could stop it. His words stern and hot against her flesh; hitting her ear heavy and rough.

Her head slightly pulled away from him; her brows shooting up. She's taken aback by it; taken aback by his crass, demanding words. "Excuse me?" she said, spinning to face blazing eyes.

"You heard me. Why did you bring him here? Why did you bring him to _my_ house?"

Her eyes are wide and fiery; her mouth hanging slightly agape. She's coming short on the words she needs to say to him; this situation already being too much for her. She had come to the window to get away from the stifling conversations and the idiotic pretense.

It wasn't easy being here but she did it anyway, for them and a little bit for herself too. She had to see him; had to make certain he was okay. She'd leave soon but she had to see.

She had to remember her breaths. She had to remember to remain calm. _This evening wasn't about her._ Finally her tongue felt lighter and her mouth felt freer, "It's none of your bloody business," she replied. It's surprisingly sharp; a hot, fiery answer that cuts him deep.

She's clearly irritated by his slur of questions. He can see it in the way her glare stained him; made him feel small and bothersome. He didn't know how to respond to her; didn't know how to get the cheating bastard who left her and broke her heart to leave.

She took the silence he offered as the end of their brief conversation and waltzed away from him; her chin high and her shoulders pushed back as she searched the room for Seth; her eyes secretly scanning the room for anyone who might have seen their little squabble.

She found the man she was looking for standing in a mix of people; clearly the center of attention as the small crowd erupted in laughter.

He was good at that; good at making her laugh; good at lightening the mood in any situation. That was one of the few reasons she invited him. She hadn't wanted to come alone either. She would cling to him like her life jacket until the night was over and who knows - Maybe they'd rekindle the flame that had been out for so long; maybe he would make her forget.

He had hurt her. He had cheated. He had broken up with her. Through it all she excused it. She was always away; always unavailable to him, in more ways than one. She had grown distant and quiet; her job pulling them in separate directions and her heart yearning for things she couldn't have, things he could _never_ give her.

Maybe now that Kit had made this huge lip, things would be different. Her second chance with Seth could be the real thing. _Who knows._

She lightly placed her hand on his shoulder; getting his attention; making him turn and lean into her touch.

"Is everything okay?" Seth asked.

She nodded at him; her lips pressed together in a wry smile.

Kit watched them from the large window where Emilia left him; his heart clenching; his soul aching for the woman who refused to give him the light of day; who continued to entertain the sham of a man.

 

Rose descended the staircase; a tray in hand, filled with an assortment of finger foods. Kit rushed over to assist her; meeting her at the last step; carefully taking the food from her small hands.

She smiled over at him; her face lightly sheened with sweat from her visit to the kitchen.

"You're such a gentleman," she beamed.

They stepped into the living room together; side by side as Kit placed the tray on the rectangular table at the front of the room.

She scooted up on her toes, quickly capturing his lips in a kiss; her arms wrapped securely around his neck.

His body went tense; his mind instantly flashing to Emilia and if she was anywhere in sight. He brought his hands to rest lightly on her hips; his eyes scanning the room for any sign of the brunette.

When Rose pulled away and her chin fell over his shoulder in a tight embrace; his gaze was met by the woman he sought. She stood across the room with Seth; a glass of wine in hand and a sore look on her face.

He noticed the way she clutched the thin neck of the glass; her fingers knotting together as she watched painfully the people before her; her eyes going from appalled and torn to secretly pleading with him to put her out of her misery. He understood what he needed to do; understood what she meant; her unspoken words falling hard against his tender, bleeding heart.

_It's not supposed to be like this._

He's the one to break the contact; the one to pull away slowly. "We have an audience," he whispered against her hair, noticing too the others who stared adoringly at the _lovely_ couple.

Emilia dragged her eyes away from them; stared at her feet momentarily, shifting from one leg to the next.

"They look good together don't they?" Seth directed to her; leaning slightly into her space.

She lifted her gaze quickly; throwing on a less pained expression, "They do," she offered back, less convincingly as her eyes flickered in their direction; never allowing her gaze to linger.

She does notice however, Kit making a dash for the front door.

She thought about following him; her feet itching to move. Maybe they could have that talk, finally get things out in the open; finally release the heaviness that's been painfully dangling between them.

 

Kit's lungs grabbed at the fresh air around him; the sudden burst upon opening the door, greeting him wonderfully. Walking out into the night was therapeutic. He could hear the light music and the distant chatter and laughter all behind him; the light from the inside shining through the windows, casting a lovely dim ambience outside.

He wandered down the stone path and detoured through the low shrubbery into the green lush grass area to the right of the house. He stared into the massive tree that stood before him; his low breathing and night creatures being the only sounds to fill the still air.

He needed a break; he needed to get away from all the unconscious build up that was happening in that house.

It had become too hard to focus; too hard to smile and be the gracious host everyone was expecting. His nostrils feeling too small to take in the large amount of air he needed; his lungs too large to be filled.

He pulled the box of cigarette he had tucked away in his pocket; tugging from the pack one single stick before sliding it between his all too anxious lips.

He was about to light up when he heard the front door open. His heart jolted; his mind creating expectations of the face he wanted to see when he spun around.

He heard light footsteps behind him; light footsteps leaving the stone pavement and padding towards him on the slightly damp grass.

"Can I have one of those?" the voice asked; thick and hoarse.

His heart sank; a familiar pang of disappointment erupting inside of his already fragile shell.

Seth came to stand next to him; almost shoulder to shoulder in the darkness of the late evening.

Kit lit the cigarette in his mouth; pulling in a full lung of smoke before slowly exhaling and offering the box to the man.

The older man took one from the carton before borrowing the lighter as well and lighting his own.

They stood in silence for a few seconds; the air around them becoming potent with the smoke they released; the calm from the stick becoming the only thing keeping the tension at bay.

"I swear, if one more person asks me to do my Peter Griffin or Stewie voice, I'm going to leave," Seth confessed in the silence. It was almost a mumble; an exclamation to himself.

There's a stiffness in his tone; an informality that stained the atmosphere; leaving a prickly edge to his words that made Kit uncomfortable. He might have strong loathing feelings towards the man but there's no reason they couldn't be amicable, for Emilia's sake.

Kit looked over at him. He was doing pretty much the same as he had done earlier; admiring the grand tree before them; cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth and his hands tucked into the denim of his jeans; shielding him against the evening breeze.

"I mean, Emilia loves it when I do the voices and I love doing them for _her_ ," he paused to stare beyond the trees; staring into the past; a reminiscent look etched on his face. "She gets this little squinty look on her face and she laughs so hard."

Kit pulled the cigarette from his lips; his jaw tightly clenched and his teeth grinding painfully together.

"Her nose crinkles and she..."

"What the hell are you doing at _my_ house MacFarlane?" Kit snapped; turning around abruptly to face the older man.

Seth scoffed at that, shifting his weight to look at him. "Whoa! I was invited, _clearly_." 

"I don't bloody care. I don't like you, Seth, I've never liked you. I don't like you with Emilia, I don't like you around her. I don't like you as a person and I don't want you here, do you understand?"

"Well, you should probably take that up with Emilia cause she _obviously_ does."

"I swear to god if you hurt her again, if you so much as touch her," Kit warned; throwing his lit cigarette in the distance; his legs moving of their own accord to stand directly in the personal space of the man before him.

"Oh? And what are you gonna do about it Mr. Harington?" Seth bit back in his American accent; matching his stance; slightly lifting his chin; daring him to do something about it.

"Kit? Kit? Where are you?" someone called from the front door; the music and light inside filtering out from the crack in the door.

His head whipped around to see Rose's blonde friend Charlene poking her head outside.

"I'm out here Charlene. What's wrong?" he called out.

"Oh, there you are. Rose says you're out of napkins and she can't find the paper towels. She needs ya," she finished.

"I'll be right there," he said before glaring at Seth as he walked away.

Kit was almost halfway up the stone pathway when he grumbled loud enough for him to hear, "If you care so damn much, maybe you should be the one dating her. Idiot," slipping the cigarette between his lips again and facing the trees.

Kit halted his motion; his eyes going wide with the sudden realization of Seth's words. The distant crickets and creatures the only things stirring in the heavy silence. He doesn't turn around; he doesn't address what has been brought to light. He straightened his back; ramrod straight and continued up the stone path, disappearing into the house.

 

He found the roll of paper towel; handed it over to Charlene before noticing that Emilia was still nowhere in sight. He was half expecting her to be deep in conversation with the other guests or dancing as the others had been to the light melodies of house music that Rose had picked out, but she wasn't.

He set out to find her, determined to get her to talk to him before Seth or Rose showed up. He scanned the room, giving it one final sweeping glance before heading to the back of the house. He rounded the corner of the hallway behind the living room; checking the guests rooms before he glimpsed her from the corner of his eyes.

She stood at the end of the hallway; her back pressed up against the wooden walls; patiently waiting to enter the guest bathroom.

He approached her; about to drag her away into a more secluded area when the woman occupying the loo exited and nodded curtly to the brunette as she passed.

Emilia entered the spacious single room; a sudden rush of lavender hitting her nostrils as she spun around to close the door. She grasped the handle; giving it a slight push when something unforeseen obstructed the door's path.

Her brows knitted quickly before there was a quick flash of someone entering with her. Her mouth opened to protest but fell mute upon realizing that the individual was Kit.

He closed the door behind him; turning around to face her; his chest rising and falling quickly from rushing to intercept the closing door.

He stared at her; her eyes wide with curiosity, swimming with anxiety and confusion.

He didn't give her a moment to think before taking two massive steps to close the space between them. He grabbed at her face; his palms cupping her cheeks, pulling her forward; a huff of air leaving her quickly from the sudden impact.

There was no time to protest before their lips were brought together; his mouth claiming hers oh so possessively. 

Her hands went to grab at his forearms; her brain not quite catching up with the events that were unfolding but when his lips started moving against hers, blue green eyes flew open against his face.

Her palms went to his chest; applying force and pushing him away from her. He fell back a few steps, putting enough space between them so she could breathe again.

He was about to question her rejection when the hand to her right coming up to make quick, sharp contact with his cheek.

He stood there; face burning, chest heaving in the echoing bathroom, staring at the stunned woman before him. He knew he deserved it; knew the reason behind the anger; knew the reason for the blank stare directed at him. He took it in the silence; took it with no words or comebacks to follow.

Her brows knitted in what could only be wonder and outrage. She returned his gaze; her blue green eyes burning and fierce; her breath shallow and quick.

He could see her mind working; see the way she tried to find the words to throw at him; the words that would sting just as her slap had. Her mouth hanging slightly open; the jibe already on the tip of her tongue as she wrestled with her heart and mind.

His eyes could no long take the searing heat of her gaze; he lowered them to the rugged floor beneath him before looking back at her with sad, sorrowful eyes. He knew she could see the regret there; see the apology that was about to come.

In a show of struggle with herself, her hands went up in a half surrender, half shrug before jolting back towards him and grabbing him by the lapels of his coat. She drew him flush against her; their lips coming together desperately before he quickly backed her into the bathroom sink.

He grabbed at her hips; hoisting her up with ease to sit on the ceramic surface before nestling himself between her parted legs, her heels colliding with the wooden cupboard below them.

Her hands left his lapel and went to his cheeks, yanking him towards her; her fingers lightly brushing against the back of his neck, nearly getting tangled in his curls.

He kissed her back fervently and when her tongue swept over his own, he groaned out loud; leaning further into the kiss; nipping at her bottom lip as a reward.

This is all he wanted; all he's ever wanted. In this moment, all the noise falls away; all the chaos, confusion and anger. It’s just Emilia—pressed up against him, nails digging into his neck, thumbs stroking the marks to soothe the way his skin sparks at the sensation. And the kiss intense and lung burning, each deeper and more desperate than the last and his lips are tingling, his whole body on fire and he doesn't think it will stop feeling like this anytime soon; not with Emilia grazing his lips and licking inside his mouth so passionately.

"Emilia," he whispered and when he tasted the way she hummed against him, he couldn't help but reach for her, grab her by the thighs and pull her further into him.

She's seated comfortably, he thought; the ceramic hard against her ass but Emilia doesn't seem to mind. She's too hypnotized by the magic that is _them_ with one hand now fisting in his hair and the other grabbing at his collar; pulling him closer and closer. She used her grip on him to ease his head back; her eyes burning into his soul and a groan rumbled deep inside his chest when she leaned forward to swipe her tongue slowly and purposely into his mouth.

He gripped at her thighs more possessively; gripping her to keep himself sane and planted in this reality; his nails nearly drawing blood from her.

She gasped out loud; feeling the wetness pool dangerously hot between her legs; her cunt pressing hard into the sink below.

Kit's palms slid back and forth against smooth, sensitive skin; hovering close to where she ached most.

"Kit, no," she groaned when his hands dragged up her inner thigh and back to her hips repeatedly. He ignored her plea, pulling her right to the edge of the cupboard while his teeth nipped at her jawline.

"Not here," she said breathlessly as one hand brushed against the damp fabric between her thighs; she bucked against the intrusion hard; her hands now clutching at his shoulder at first then pushing him away slightly. She did the action over and over again; fighting the want that was building up fast.

"Not. Here. Please. We. Cant," she whispered shakily against his open mouth as one finger lightly skimmed against her swollen clit before finding her entrance and pumping slowly into her. _In. Out. In. Out._

Her head is spinning; her vision blurred and hazy. One hand gripped painfully at her hip while the other gently caressed her thighs; the palm of his working hand pushing up against her nob with every thrust he made. It's unbearably intense; the setting; the sensations; the way he's groaning and watching her unravel before him.

She closed her eyes tightly, leaning her head back; biting down on her bottom lip to keep herself from screaming but when a second finger entered her; filling her deliciously; her head collapsed; her forehead meeting his shoulder with an escaped whimper.

He kissed the side of her face; kissing from her cheek up to the sharp just by her ear. He reveled for a moment in the way she was breathing—very quick and quiet; doing her best to keep quiet.

It made him incredibly hard; his member pressing into the zipper of his denim pants.

He continued to pump in and out of her heat; his hand becoming increasingly wet with her slickness; the air around them filling with the shared intimacy.

"Kit," she whispered.

"Yes?"

"I'm cumming," it was a somewhere between a breathy gasp and a drawn out moan but it drove him mad. His free hand went to cup the small of her back; pulling her into his thrusting fingers as he curled and uncurled the digits against her sensitive spot.

Her hands went up under his navy blue woolen coat to grip at his dress shirt; her legs locking him in place; squeezing tighter and tighter as she fell over into the blissful abyss.

"Fuck," he gasped as he felt the way her walls clenched at his fingers; not wanting to let him go until every wave had rolled from her.

She pulled away at the end; her chest heaving and her breath coming out fast and heavy.

He clutched her jaws with one hand while his other hand slipped from between her legs; dragging them to his lips; making them disappear into his mouth. He hummed at the taste; at the tangy sweetness that was _her_.

His hold remained on her face as his fingers left his lips and his mouth claimed hers, forcing her to taste herself from him.

It was intoxicating; the heady flavor causing her to kiss him hard before pulling away.

She stared at him wantonly for a few seconds, her legs still open; her core still throbbing.

If she was being honest, she wanted more. She wanted him inside her but there was no time for that.

They said no words as she hopped from the sink and adjusted her bunched up dress. Their heavy breathing the only things echoing in the silence.

She quickly washed her hands and adjusted her smudged lipstick as he watched her in the mirror from behind; his eyebrows gathering as he realized she was about to leave without another word.

"Em," he said.

Still she said nothing.

"We need to talk," he added as he used a paper towel to wipe away the redness from his lips.

The comment made her laugh; a cold thing that chilled him down to his very bones.

"What would you have us talk about Kit? How much of a coward you are? How you disappeared for days without a word?" she asked wryly as she dried her hands in the soft towel next to her.

"Em, I'm sorry," he said desperately.

She turned to face him then; her eyes wild and fiery; burning with something he's never seen before; something deep and dark.

"That's okay. We have a party to get back to," she said in a tight, sweet voice that stung.

She tried to go around him but he grabbed at her shoulders; steadying her; holding her in place.

She glared at the hands that clutched her; looking from one to the other.

"Kit," she said in a cool, unaffected voice that cut through the tense air. She looked from the hands on her shoulders to his eyes. There were tears there; tears welling up, threatening to spill over; threatening to break him and it softened her.

"Kit, I have to go," she said in a trembling voice; her own eyes beginning to betray her. "They're probably looking for us."

His arms slowly slid down to her palms; taking them in his; his shoulders slumped forward; his body sagged. He wore the defeat he was feeling openly. His mind catching up with the fact that she was probably done with him all together.

He leaned in all the same; pressing his forehead against hers with closed eyes; his breathing heavy and filled with emotion.

"Kit," she whispered; her voice soft and calming.

He shook his head; his forehead never leaving hers as he said, "I can't. This can't be it Em," he paused to release a pent up sigh. "Please, you can't give up on us now. We're so close. So close. Please," his words were wet; the tears on the brink of overflow.

She closed her eyes against his hot breath; leaning into the press of his forehead; her hands accepting the way his gripped her.

"I'm so tired Kit. We keep talking about this thing and making all these plans and they're not working out," she paused to lick her lips. "Maybe it's the Universe telling us to quit now."

"I don't believe that," he interjected.

"You disappeared on me Kit. You left me when we said we'd go at this together. How can I trust that you're going to go through with this?" The tears finally fell from her; her chest tight and heavy. "This is so fucked up."

"Hey, look at me," he said as he released the hold on her hand and cupped her face instead; forcing her head up; forcing her eyes to look at him. "Look at me. This isn't over. I'm going to do it - trust me, I will," his own words quivering and weak.

"Kit, I'm tired," she said; her own body slumped against his.

His hands go back for hers; their fingers knotted together; arms slightly swaying. He's resting his forehead against hers once more. His voice comes down to a whisper; to a plead, "Please don't give up on us yet. Please, we're so close. You can't just walk away, not now."

A few sobs escape her throat.

His voice is rich in sorrow and remorse and it's all too much; everything is too much. 

"I'm sorry," she said as she untangled their fingers and quickly went around him; opening the door and closing it behind her.

He's standing in the emptiness; his eyes still closed; his body swaying unsteadily before he leaned against the top of the sink; his hands gripping at the edge; his fist white and rigid.

 

He goes back to the living room where the guests are dancing and socializing; he doesn't see Rose but she sees him. His mind is wrapped in what just took place in the bathroom; his world feeling like it's spiraling out of control fast.

He's staring into the distance at nothing in particular. He's striding through the guests slowly with no purpose, no real aim.

"Where did you go?" Rose asked curiously as she slid to his side.

He quickly snapped back to reality; his head wheeling around to look at the redhead next to him. "Hey, I was..."

"It doesn't matter now. Emilia is about to leave. She was trying to sneak away but I caught her. Something's not right Kit," she said with a concerned look that faded quickly; her brows knitting together in a slight frown.

His expression is one of distress and affliction. He tried to hide it but the worry was becoming more evident. She was about to leave with _him_ ; leave with a man that wasn't the man she wanted; leave with a man that didn't even deserve her. It ached him but there was nothing he could do.

_How did it get like this? How did things get this muddled?_

That's when he saw her approaching them; her eyes shy and concealed. Her face made back to perfection; all traces of tears and smudging gone.

He could still see the crushed imprints in her dress, that was the only evidence of their encounter in the bathroom.

Her eyes were solely focused on Rose; never meeting his, never daring to. "Seth's pulling the car around. Thank you both so much for the invite. We had a really good time," she said sweetly.

"Oh god Emilia, it was _so_ good to see you! Travel safely," the redhead said, as she pulled her into a tight, swaying hug.

Emilia allowed a glance to flicker over to Kit over the woman's shoulder; her eyes filled with guilt and sadness as she embraced her friend.

"Be safe," Kit strained as he awkwardly placed a chaste kiss against her cheek; pulling her into a clumsy half hug.

She nodded curtly to them both as she turned on her heels and headed through the big wooden door.

His heart was pounding rapidly as he watched her leave; his anxiety and panic slowly building; the world around him slowly fading into nothing as he realized that she would continue to ignore him; that she would be miles away from him; that he would have to pretend to be okay for far too long without her.

"I just remembered something I need to talk to Em about. I'll be right back," he said jogging towards the door before she even had a chance to reply.

As soon as the door shut behind him; the words began spilling from his mouth. She was just a few feet from him, strutting purposefully towards where the cars were parked.

"Emilia!" he shouted.

Her body went rigid and her strut slowed but she never stopped.

"Emilia!" he shouted again. "You're not leaving here until you give me a chance to explain! Emilia!" the words were echoing in the darkness.

Emilia whirled on him with narrowed eyes, "Enough!" She's breathing heavily; her eyes wild and flashing. There's distance between them, a lot of it but the night is still and the only thing within ear of them are the creatures that hide and dance with the night.

Her voice comes down to an exasperated drag; a pleading whisper, "Enough Kit, please. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep getting my hopes up to have it crushed again. I'm sorry. I can't."

"Did you bring him here to get a rise out of me? Did you bring him here to throw it in my face and get me to act crazy? Because if so, it's _working_ ," he's pointing at Emilia's car in the parking space; his words wobbly and stern.

"What? No! I didn't!"

"Did you sleep with him?" his voice is softer and timid; afraid of the answer that he might get. His stomach already teetering over the edge; expecting the worst; expecting the drop that is to come.

She's shocked. Her eyes are wide as he slowly approached her; taking a few steps and stopping a feet away; awaiting her answer. "It's none of your business Kit - if I did or didn't sleep with him, it doesn't matter. You don't own me. We're _not_ together. We're _not_ in a relationship. We're _nothing_!"

"Don't say that," he whispered.

"Kit," she's shaking her head now; her frustration reaching a new height.

"At least give us some time. Allow us to figure things out before you go do whatever you're doing with _him_."

"I can't Kit."

"Yes you can. _This_ is what you want," he's approaching her now; stopping just a few inches short of her. " _I'm_ what you want. You don't want this. You _don't_ want _him_. You want us. You've always wanted us. Look Em, I know I messed up. I know that but if you just give us another chance I know we can..."

Her eyes are soft and weary; her posture sagging and tired. Her hand comes up to stop him; cutting him off suddenly, "Kit, we've been here before. We've been in this position, we've had this conversation and I can't have it with you again. Look at where we are. We're at your housewarming party. Your fucking housewarming Kit. How do you think I feel? How do you think I felt when I hadn't heard from you in weeks only to get a call from _her_ confirming my attendance to _your_ house warming? I'm tired and I'm broken and I can't." The tears are flowing now and she's not stopping them. "And now you want me to wait some more? Now you want me to give you more time to decide on what you want? To just wait? How can you ask me to do that? How can I even trust that you will do what you say after everything?"

"Emilia..."

"How can I trust you?" she shouted as she began backing away from him.

"Em, I tried to contact you but..."

"How?!" she shouted again, cutting him off suddenly.

"Because I'm in love with you dammit!" he shouted back. The words are out before he had a chance to grab at them; to wrap them in his tongue and trap them behind his teeth. They've shocked him as much as they've shocked her and he sighed as he looked over at her wide, teary eyes.

She's godsmacked; her body ready to retreat at his astonishing revelation. She stared back at him with flustered eyes; unblinking and frightened.

"What did you just say?" her brows are knitted and trembling; her entire body quaking from what he just said.

His eyes droop a bit; he swallowed hard against his tightening throat. "I'm in love with you."

"Shut up."

"What?"

"Shh! Don't speak. You're lying. You have to be."

"I'm not."

"SHH!"

"Em."

She's turning to leave; to make a run for it; to hop in her car and have Seth drive her straight home. These are the words she's wanted to hear for so long and now that the moment is here, she has no idea what to do with them. _Idiot._

"Emilia, stop!"

She halted mid stride; the click of her heels stopping as she turned to face him. She's blinking slowly; her eyebrows still raised high on her forehead.

"I'm not lying and you _know_ I'm not lying," he paused to close the space between them; his steps slow and careful, not wanting to scare her off again. "I think you've known for a while now."

Her body is in flight mode; one eyebrow raised higher than the other as she listened to his measured words.

"Since the first day I met you at that bar, when I was this chubby insecure guy and you were... well you were _you_ ; as stunning and amazing as you are now. We hit it off pretty well right off the bat and I knew that there was something truly spectacular about _this_ ," he said gesturing between them.

He reached between them and took one hand in his and she swallowed hard; nervously watching him; listening to him.

"I know I messed up and I know I've been distant and I've been a coward and you're angry. You have every right to be mad as hell but you've been a coward too. You've been running from us for _years _. This thing between didn't _just_ start, it's been happening, slowly building up over time," he paused to squeeze her hand to check to see if she was still with him. Somewhere along the way, her gaze had fallen to their swaying hands and though she was listening, it was hard to look at the truth; so solid and sure after all these years. __

__"I've been here Em, I've always been here and you were the one that kept saying you didn't want to date anymore actors. I waited and I loved you and I was here, all this time and you said nothing. So when I shedded a few pounds and got my shit together and things changed for me, I was ready to have you, to be the man you deserved but by then you had someone else and then there was Jai and then Seth and then I met Rose and you pushed it. You were the one who convinced me to go for it, I thought there was no chance for us and so I did. I couldn't wait anymore and Rose was so great and so beautiful but she wasn't you," he paused to catch a breath; to release a sigh that needed to make room for more words._ _

__"I was afraid Em. I was afraid that the only reason you wanted me was because I was with _her_. I was afraid that I'd leave her and you'd finally have me and you'd see... you'd see that chubby guy, that chubby best friend who didn't feel good enough for you; you'd realize how stunning and amazing you are and you wouldn't want me anymore."_ _

__She stared at him as his head dipped; as his stare wavered and his confidence faltered and when he finally lifted his gaze, she saw uncertainty there. She saw how hesitant he was to look at her; felt the way the grip on her hand loosened._ _

__"Kit," she said; her voice filled with urgency, trying to get him to look at her fully. "How could you think that? How could you think that I wouldn't want you? I..." she sighed. "I've always..."_ _

__There was a blaring horn coming from her car; they both looked back at the vehicle; saw the headlights flash a few times; suggesting Seth was running out of patience._ _

__She looked back at Kit; slowly pulling her hand from his with a final squeeze. She had a soft smile on her face but sympathetic eyes that he couldn't read. "I have to go," she said sadly. "I forgot he was waiting," she chuckled nervously; tucking a loose strand behind her ear as she backed away slowly. "I'm sorry," she mouthed before backing away fully; her eyes never leaving his until she turned and walked straight to the car._ _

__He watched her leave; watched the car pull away and disappear down the dirt road that led to the main._ _

__He turned up the stone path; slowly making his way back to the party that he'd left abandoned; totally unaware of Rose watching him from the living room window._ _

__

__They had waited until the last of the guests had left; until they had kissed the cheek and wrapped their arms around almost every individual that went by._ _

__He was tired and he could tell she was exhausted as well; she hadn't said much to him after he had returned to the party; they hadn't seen much of each other to begin with. As soon as he returned, he was dragged into conversation after conversation with different persons who expressed their excitement about their big move._ _

__They were in the process of cleaning up when she said, "Is everything okay?"_ _

__"Yeah, why'd you ask?"_ _

__"Nothing."_ _

__There's a silence that filled the space around them; the clatter of fork and spoon against plate was the only thing that scraped at the air; a deafening emptiness that didn't sit well with him._ _

___Something's not right._ _ _

__A few minutes past before he asked, "Are you?"_ _

__"Am I what?" she asked coolly._ _

__"Are you okay?"_ _

__She paused the task she was doing; lowering a pile of plates to the table; straightening her back, her hair sweeping back into place. "That depends."_ _

__"On?" he asked nervously; watching her carefully._ _

__"Your explanation for this," she said as she pulled her phone from her back pocket; scrolling through its contents before handing him the device.  
He observed her carefully before looking down at the device. Her face was unreadable; her eyes blue and steely._ _

__The first thing to grab him was a picture in the middle of the article of himself and Emilia tightly embracing at the London airport; his hands around her middle and her arms wrapped around his neck. It would have been easily explained had the title not read _Game of Thrones stars Kit Harington and Emilia Clarke shares tender moment at Heathrow airport_._ _

__He looked up at her; his mouth agape; his heart racing. "I thought you didn't read these thing."_ _

__"Charlene showed it to me."_ _

__He's still looking down at the phone in his hand, trying to wrap his head around what was happening. He wanted to tell her the truth, of course he did but not like this. Never like this._ _

__"Well?" she asked anxiously. A few seconds past between them before she added, "I saw you two outside having a very passionate, heated discussion. What's going on Kit? I don't like to assume things but this, this doesn't look friendly," she said as she pointed over at the phone in his hand._ _

__"I think we need to talk," he said on an exasperated sigh._ _

__

__It's shortly after one in the morning and Emilia's cuddled up on her couch watching reruns of _Girls_ ; her legs cozily tucked under her and her oversized sweater draped over her exposed knees. She's digging into a tub of _Ben & Jerry's_; her tears already dried, leaving her face stiff and sticky. Her mind kept visiting the conversation she had with Kit; the complex situation that they've fallen into and the unpleasant reality that has blanketed their lives._ _

__He had said he loved her; not even that but he was _in love_ with her. Her heart had stopped; had leapt and had wept at his truth. She wasn't sure how she felt about any of this. It was a breathtaking declaration; something she's always wanted to hear but news that came at such a ill time for them._ _

__She scooped another spoonful of the Chocolate Fudge Brownie treat; leaning further into the plush sofa when there was a knock at her front door._ _

__Her eyebrows knitted together wondering who it could be at this hour of the morning. She carefully placed the pint on the side table next to her before gingerly making her way to the door. She stood in the foyer area; the marble tiles cool against her bare feet. She tipped to see through the peep hole and then through the side glass of the door; her palms bracing against it._ _

___Kit._ _ _

__She hurriedly started to unlock it; dragging the bolts and chains from their place before flinging it open. "Kit? What are you doing...?"_ _

__She didn't have time to finish her question before her face was being grabbed and pulled in his direction; knocking the wind right from her lungs._ _

__He walked them back into the house; blindly kicking the door close with his booted foot._ _

__She would have protested but though the actions were sudden, the kiss was soft and almost chaste. There had been no rush, no tongue, no aggression; just a tender meeting of lips and she reveled in it; softly moaning against his mouth as he took her in._ _

__Her hands eventually came up to hold onto his biceps as he continued to cup her face._ _

___How could he be here? Had she fallen asleep wallowing in her self-pity and this was nothing but a mere dream tugging at her emotions? Making her want things that were completely out of grasp?_ _ _

__He moaned when her back gently collided with the wall that separated the foyer from the living room; giving him extra support in pinning her in place._ _

__His lips steadily moved against hers; a drunken dance for their mouths to enjoy. He could taste the ice cream on her breath; his mind searchingly trying to pinpoint the exact flavor but getting lost in the soft, sweet feel of her._ _

__His arms left her cheek to wrap around her middle and she allowed it; pulling away momentarily to give him quick access._ _

__He nipped at her lips as he slowly dragged his head away; looking down at her from his dark, hooded eyes; their labored breath mixing in the dimly lit area._ _

__"What was that for?" she sighed happily; her eyes dazed and unfocused. Her head dipping momentarily as a blush rose to her high cheeks. "What are you doing here?"_ _

__"I did it."_ _

__"Did what?"_ _

__"I told her everything."_ _

__She slowly pulled away from his embrace; sliding from where she stood trapped between the wall and his body; her mind taking her away from the present._ _

__The anxiety was beginning to set in; her brows nearly meeting her hairline._ _

__She circled him, coming to stand behind him; her arms folded tightly in front of her, almost hugging her middle. "How did she take it?"_ _

__He slowly spun around to look at her; his back resting against the column she left vacant. He's staring at her; barely being able to make out her exact expression in the darkness._ _

__"She's angry."_ _

__She exhaled a huff of air that he took for a nervous laugh, "I don't blame her," she paused to lick her lips and swallow against her suddenly dry mouth. "How did you do it?"_ _

__"There's an article with a picture...of us...in the airport...hugging."_ _

__"Oh my god," she moved her hands to wrap around herself; her heart pounding in her ears._ _

__"Yeah, her friend saw it and showed it to her at the party and it kind of spiraled from there. I told her I didn't think this was going to work anymore. I don't think we're a good fit. She asked what changed and I told her I'm in love with someone else," he uncomfortably shifted his weight from one leg to the next; his arms crossed at his chest._ _

__"Kit, you didn't," there's a frown on her face; he could tell by her tone alone._ _

__"She was going to find out anyway. I wanted to give her the whole truth, she deserves that much, Em."_ _

__Emilia started pacing back and forth between where he stood and her mahogany door; the distance feeling smaller and smaller with every go; the space closing in on her with her speed. "You're right," she said nervously._ _

__"In a couple of months it will be everywhere. We need to let our agents get on this as soon as possible."_ _

__"I don't care about our agents Kit," she stopped her quick steps to gaze over at him; her eyes large; her forehead creased with worry lines. "What happened when you told her?"_ _

__"Well, I started crying and then she started crying. I tried to explain that we didn't mean for any of this to happen but it was hard over all the emotional ranting and shouting. She's _really_ mad Em. I've never seen her like that before. She's devastated and I felt...I _feel_ horrible about it. She told me she hated me, then she told me she hated you and that we deserved each other, grabbed her coat and left," he sighed; his eyes closed as he relived the moment; his body almost shaking at the memory. "I followed her, tried to get her to stay. I didn't want her driving like that but she didn't want to be around me and so she left. I've been calling her ever since, just to make sure she's okay but no answer. I don't blame her. We hurt her pretty bad, Em," he exhaled another long breath; trying to get his body to calm down._ _

__Emilia's eyes are watery; her grip on herself almost bruising her rib. "What have we done Kit?"_ _

__"We had to do it," he said as he made his way over to her; gently resting his hands on her elbows; feeling the rigidity in her limbs. "We had no choice. We couldn't keep lying to her or to ourselves for that matter."_ _

__She's nodding mutely; running a hand over her face and through her hair; pulling in a violent sniffle as she cried quietly in the dark. "I know, you're right but I hate what this has done to her. I hate that we've hurt her like this."_ _

__"I know," he added; rubbing her shoulders and giving her a small, sad smile._ _

__He pulled her into a hug; one hand cupping the back of her head and the other sliding up and down her back._ _

__She's clutching at his coat; realizing he's still wearing the same clothes he wore at the party; their housewarming party. _What a disaster!__ _

__She allowed him to hold her for a while. The exhaustion she felt finally setting into her bones. She's truly tired. These past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions and she just wants to be done with it; done with feelings of heaviness and cloudiness all the time. The lies and secrets are finally leaving; finally becoming lighter but the tiredness - it remained._ _

__So she lets him hold her; her body leaning into his; her support; her rock; her pillar of strength. He has been all those things and more for her, even in moments when he wasn't hers; in moments when she didn't know that his heart longed for the same things she did - he has been those things, _always_._ _

__She finally felt steady enough to pull away; to stand grounded and centered and look up at him with hopeful eyes. "Can I interest you in a drink by chance?"_ _

__"The strongest thing you can find."_ _

__"Coming right up," she said as she sauntered to the living room; the television casting a dazzling glow before she switched the lights on._ _

__He followed her; sitting in the couch and peering over into the half hard carton of ice cream that sat next to him on the side table._ _

__"You could have at least invited me to the pity party," he mumbled._ _

__She laughed from the glass table in the corner as she reached for the decanter of whiskey. She poured into two rock glasses as she spoke, "It's not too late."_ _

__She sat next to him on the couch, putting a little space between them as she set the decanter on the glass coffee table, still skillfully clutching both rock glasses with one hand._ _

__"Here you go sir," she said as she handed the liquor to him._ _

__The glass was halfway to her lips when he broke the silence._ _

__"A toast. Here's to fucking up and finding peace; to secrets being revealed and hearts that I pray will heal. Cheers," he finished by raising his drink above his head._ _

__"Did you just come up with that?" a smile slowly stretching across her face as she watched him over the rim of her glass._ _

__"I did," he laughed._ _

__They drank well into the early morning; their bodies finally giving out at the peak of dawn. She had nestled into his side on the couch as they watched episodes of _Girls_ together. One hand had been draped over the arm of the sofa and the other wrapped around Emilia's shoulder; his head bending backwards to settle on the back of the chair. They slept like that for a few hours; the television playing in the background but they never stirred. The liquor seeping deep and knocking them almost unconscious._ _

__

__It wasn't until mid-morning that Emilia regained her consciousness after being jolted awake by the sound of a loud banging on her front door._ _

__"Oh god," she groaned as she sat upright. Her vision blurred and fuzzy and her joints screaming from the weird position they'd fallen asleep in._ _

__She slipped her legs off the side of the sofa; her body shuddering from the contact of her bare feet with the cold marble tiles. She slowly and carefully pushed herself to her feet, making sure not to wake the sleeping man next to her._ _

__She walked clumsily through the foyer; tipping on her toes to get a view of whoever it was at her door._ _

__Her heart fell._ _

__She spun on her heels; taking a minute to stare into the stillness of the mid-morning glow that tinted the space around her._ _

__Her mind was working at lightning speed; her body was now on high alert; all semblance of sleep knocked from her._ _

__She took one full, final breath before turning and unlatching the bolt and chain._ _

__She slowly opened the door; her eyes meeting blue ones._ _

__"Rose," she said shakily as she dragged the door open._ _

__The woman before her was livid. It wasn't evident in the way she stared back at her; it wasn't evident in the messy way her hair draped around her face or the coldness in her eyes or the tightness in her lips._ _

__It was the way her body seemed on edge; the way she tried to compose the searing flame that was clearly blazing from seeing the human trigger before her; the way her hands, white and tight, gripped at her purse; the way her posture stood straight and tense._ _

__She said nothing, she just stared back at the brunette. Her mind not ready to react to seeing the woman who ruined her happiness; who snatched everything from her._ _

__"Come in, please," Emilia said as she stepped to the side slowly; giving her access to her home; her mind momentarily flickering to Kit who was still asleep in the room next to them._ _

__She closed the door behind them; sealing them inside._ _

__She wasn't sure what to expect. She wasn't sure why she had come here in the first place._ _

__She wondered if she would hurt her; if she had come to discard of her once and for all. Kit had said he had never seen her like this and that had scared her a little; a chill running down her spine at the brutal thought._ _

__She exhaled a quick breath before turning to face the woman._ _

__She just stood there; silently staring back at the brunette; her breathing calm and steady._ _

__Emilia thought she should say something; at least apologize for her part in all of this. It was only right and she knew it._ _

__She looked down at her toes; at her scrambled reflection in the tiles below before lifting her gaze to meet Rose's again. "Look Rose, I'm so sorry for..."_ _

__She was cut off by a sharp, stinging pain that connected with her cheek. Her ear beginning to ring from the sheer impact of the blow._ _

__Emilia's hands instinctively went to her face; her cold palm soothing hot, burning flesh. Her face shocked and stilled at the woman's actions._ _

__"Don't fucking apologize! How dare you stand there and lie to me _again_. You're not sorry. This is exactly what you wanted!" she shouted at her; her finger pointing at her, punctuating each word by poking at the air between them._ _

__"I deserve that," she said as she lowered her hands to her side. "But you have to believe that we never meant to hurt you. We never meant for _any_ of this to happen."_ _

__"Shut up! Shut your bloody mouth! You both lied to me for months! You came to our party! You said you were happy for us! Who does that? Who lies like that?" Hot tears are rolling down her pale cheeks; her voice hoarse and raw from shouting or crying - Emilia doesn't know which. Her body is trembling furiously before her, all attempts of composure long gone._ _

__"We wanted to tell you. Rose, I _was_ happy for you. I wanted to leave you guys alone. I wanted to move on but..." she pleaded with the red haired woman; her hands reaching out to touch her; to comfort her; to make her understand._ _

__"But what? You chose to fuck my boyfriend instead?" she said as she took a step back; out of the brunette's reach._ _

__"No! It wasn't like that!"_ _

__"It was! Kit told me about your little rendezvous in the bathroom at the party. I mean how fucking sick can you be?" her face twisting with disgust; her tone just short of a snarl; the words grinding out from between clenched teeth._ _

__"Rose, I'm sorry," her own voice shaky and wet; her own tears spilling over._ _

__"I told you never to say those words to me!" she warned. "You were supposed to be my friend Emilia! You were supposed to have my back! I invited you on lunch dates with us for god sakes! Were you plotting this entire time?"_ _

__"I swear to you I wasn't! I told you! I wanted to leave him alone!"_ _

__"Then why didn't you?!" she shouted back at her._ _

__There was a few seconds of silence, of Rose madly pacing a small distance._ _

__"Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop myself from feeling what I felt for him and he couldn't either," she was slightly shaking her head; her face drenched in her own tears; her cheek still on fire from the slap. "I wanted him to be happy and if that meant with you then I was fine with it but..."_ _

__She stopped her pacing to wheel on the brunette; her eyes wild and flaming. "Don't you say it! Don't you fucking say it! He was happy until you got it in his head that you had these _feelings_ for him. You confused him. You brainwashed him and now he's leaving me. You must be so proud of yourself."_ _

__"I'm not. I wish I could take this back. I wish..."_ _

__"Save it! You're no friend. You're both dead to me. As far as I'm concerned you can both go f..."_ _

__"Whoa! Let's not say anything we'll regret," a voice came from behind them._ _

__The redheaded woman slowly spun around; a quick, dry laugh escaping her; a scoff on her lips as her eyes met the man who left her._ _

__Emilia turned to face him as well; she noticed the way his body swayed unsteadily; noticed the heaviness in his eyes; their argument had woken him up._ _

__"Of course this is where you came," Rose said; her voice cold and callous._ _


	13. Chapter 13

"Of course this is where you came," Rose said; her voice callous and cold.

“Rose,” Emilia began.

“No, it’s fine. I guess I should start getting used to seeing you guys together right?” Her tone is venomous; her words dripping with sarcasm and disgust.

Kit is standing in the entrance to the living room; his arms crossed over his chest defensively as he observed the blaring woman before him.

“I can’t believe this,” her voice cracked and she looked up to the ceiling and swallowed; her head shaking in disbelief.

“Rose, I’m _so_ sorry,” Kit added.

The red haired woman looked up at him; her eyes still wet and weary.

Here she stood in the house of one of her closest _friends_. This is the first time she’s been here; the first time she’s seen the place. She’s been invited before on numerous occasions but it was never to be and now here she was for the first time under these _circumstances_. Oh the irony.

It also made her think; how many times he’s been here; how many times he’s come over when she wasn’t; how many times they were _alone_ together here.

“You son of a…!” she yelled as she lurched forward; her arms reaching for him and her face livid and crimson; her blood boiling and surging.

Emilia’s mouth is agape; her face fixed with a mixture of shock and stunned. “Oh my god! Rose, stop!” she shouted. Her hands went to cover her mouth; her eyes filled with anguish and fear.

Kit grabbed the redhead by her outreaching arms just as she got to him; his hands circling her small wrists while she wiggled and struggled against him; her eyes wild and blazing; her hair swaying madly around her burning face.

“You need to calm down,” Kit instructed sternly; his grip on her never dwindling.

“Let. Me. Go!” she grumbled and strained.

“We weren’t doing anything. He just came over and we slept,” Emilia exclaimed desperately. She needed the woman to believe her before things got out of control.

“And you expect me to believe that when you couldn’t keep your filthy hands off him when we were together. What’s to stop you now? What kind of idiot do you think I am?”

“Rose, she’s telling the truth. It was not like that we were…” Kit insisted.

She pulled away from him as his grip on her loosened; her eyes wide and watery. “Shut up! Just shut up! Both of you! I bet you find this so funny. I bet you both had a hearty laugh at how stupid and naïve I was.”

“Rose, no,” Emilia said convincingly.

“What kind of person do you think we are? We made some mistakes but we would never do that to you. We both love you, we would never be _that_ cruel. I know this is hard for you to accept or to even to see but we agonized night and day about how we didn’t want to hurt you, how much we _needed_ to tell you,” Kit added.

“Love? How can you even look at me and say that right now? How? And spare me the details of how you agonized over what you were doing; that you actually cared. I’m not going to take pity on you.”

“It’s the truth Rose. We do love you. That’s never going to change,” Emilia pleaded.

“And we don’t want your pity, we want you to understand,” Kit added, in an exasperated breath.

“If you wanted me to _understand_ then you should have talked to me! Respected me! Refused to move in with me but you didn’t! You couldn’t tell me that you were having doubts about us. You couldn’t tell me that you had sex with my friend. You couldn’t even tell me the night I came over after you came back,” she grinded out as she advanced on him again; her legs taking her straight to the man before her.

“I loved you, Rose. I didn’t want to hurt you,” his voice soft and shaky; his eyes studying hers, waiting for any sign of another attack.

“Oh. Then why were you carrying on with _her_?” she threw a finger over her shoulder at the woman behind her. The woman that stood nervously chewing on her bottom lip; her hands still holding herself as she watched the scene before her. “And all the while having me think that you guys were just friends and that…”

“We _were_ just friends,” he interjected. “We were. This only started a few weeks ago and you’re right, I was wrong not to have told you that I was confused and how confused I was and that I had these feelings but I never intended for any of this to happen. What I did know was that I loved you and you loved me and that was all that mattered. So I brushed aside what I was feeling because…”

“Are you still confused, Kit? Or are you sure?” she asked point blankly. Her blue eyes wide and glossy; the anger raging real and alive in them.

Kit said nothing. He lowered his gaze, looking at his sock covered feet against the marble tiles before looking back at the woman. His gaze flickered to Emilia; her eyes wet and red from the silent crying she’s been doing. He looked back at Rose, her body trembling with fury as she waited for an answer.

“Oh come on, for once in your bloody life, have the guts to tell me the truth!” she urged angrily.

“Fine! I’m not confused anymore! As I told you earlier, I’m in love with her!” he said finally.

The words hung in the air for a while; grating at the atmosphere like a hundred knives against dozens of plates. It pained Emilia to hear the words like this; pained her to watch as Rose pushed her back into the wall they had both leaned against the day before. Her body sagging; her legs looking unsteady as if she could slide to the floor any minute now. She hated this. Hated the pain their love had caused; hated the way the words had stung the redhead, leaving her broken and fragile.

The brunette winced; sucked in a breath and shut her eyes tightly against hot prickly tears; willing herself not to cry anymore; willing herself to remain strong for everyone; to remain stable and standing.

“Believe me Rose, we didn’t plan it. It just happened. We didn’t even know what it was at first. We thought it was just all the time we were spending together while filming. We even talked about it and we decided that we really just wanted to stay friends,” Kit pleaded in a soft, compassionate tone as he came to stand to the side of her.

“And how did that work out for you?” she said in a small voice as her head turned to look over at him.

“I wanted to tell you. I tried to tell you but there was just always something that would stop me; something you’d say or do that would make me pull back.”

“So I’m to blame?”

“I’m not blaming anyone, I’m just trying to make you understand,” he added firmly; his voice filled with unhinging emotions.

“Yes! I would love to understand!I’d love to understand why you chose to lie to me and move in with me while you were having sex with my friend!” her head went to lean against the wall behind her. “God, everyone knows about you two,” she sighed.

“Oh come on! Nobody knows Rose!” Kit exasperated through a heavy sigh.

“Don’t kid yourself! I’m the only one foolish enough to believe your lies! Love is blind and I proved it! There I was calling you! Telling you I love you, I miss you, I can’t wait for you to get home and all the while you couldn’t wait to get off the phone so you could get it on with this lying slut!” she shouted as she pushed herself from the wall to point angrily at Emilia.

“It was not like that! That was not how it happened!” Kit shouted at the woman’s back.

She wheeled around quickly, eyes intense. “And you expect me to believe that?”

“I swear to you Rose. We didn’t want to hurt you. We didn’t want any of this to happen. We love you.” Emilia added.

Rose is laughing at her comment; laughing blatantly in her face; her voice hoarse and dry. “Are you crazy? Are you fucking mad? I might have been stupid enough to miss out all the signs that were right in front of me before but I’m _never_ going to allow you both to ever do this to me again. I’m done! So take your apologies and your love and shove it! You took the easy way out! How dare you stand here claiming that you love me and all the while you just wanted what you wanted!” she yelled as she headed towards the door.

“Rose, stop!” Kit shouted at her back. “I did love you and I still do.”

She froze in place; turning around slowly; her back rigid and her hands fisting at her side. “I don’t want to hear it Kit,” she said through gritted teeth.

“I don’t want you driving like this. It isn’t safe,” Kit pleaded.

She’s staring over at the man blankly; blue eyes cloudy and unreadable.

“I know you’re angry and I don’t blame you. I’d be furious. Shout at us. Scream if you want to. We deserve it but don’t drive when you’re like this. As much as you hate us right now and you can’t stand the sight of us, we wouldn’t want anything to happen to you,” Emilia finished.

Rose let out a small laugh, just a quick huff, “Wow. How honorable of you,” she said dryly.

“Rose, please. We let you down, both of us let you down. I’m sorry, I really am but this is all my fault. I never should have pushed you guys together knowing how I felt about Kit. I should never have let him go and now I’ve hurt both of you,” she paused to take a deep breath.“That doesn’t change anything, there is no going back and I can’t take back the hurt and the pain I’ve caused either one of you,” a sob escaped her then and she covered her mouth quickly; she tried to approach her friend, tried to step forward but the red haired woman didn’t soften. She’s watching Emilia carefully though she doesn’t move; her eyes not trusting and maybe not even believing what she was hearing. “But you can’t drive like this, it’s not safe.”

“Don’t act concerned now. You weren’t so concerned when you were both shagging up together but don’t worry, you’ll both get what’s coming to you,” she scoffed and hear Kit shift his weight and sigh; the corner of her lip lifting scornfully. “You’re so happy now, seeing this as some kind of happy ending and thinking all the things that happened in between doesn’t matter and that you two should have just never let go of each other.That’s sweet but I’m sorry for ya Kit. Truly I am cause yeah she’s got a pretty face and a booming career and everyone loves her but scratch the surface and all you’ll find is a lying, scheming _whore_!” she said before turning around again.

“Whoa! No! That’s enough Rose!” he shouted, stepping defensively towards her.

“You want to call me names Rose, fine. Go ahead. I don’t care. You’re angry and I don’t blame you, I would be too but the important thing for you to remember is that we love you, we’ve always loved you and we always will love you and we never wanted to hurt you,” Emilia said as the tears ran down her face; her voice gently and careful.

“If you’ve got nothing new to say, I’m not uninterested,” she mumbled before opening the door and escaping into the bright sunlight.

There’s a loud bang that makes Kit and Emilia jump at the powerful force. It shook the house, causing the nearby windows and objects to rattle.

They knew she was angry. Real anger, not just hurt-anger, a real anger that sets her shoulders tense and eyes dry and hot. 

She’s hugging herself tightly when Kit broke the stretching deafening silence that grew after the woman’s winding departure.

“Well that was… intense,” he exhaled; dragging his hands over his face roughly.

“She slapped me,” she added without turning to face him. Her eyes were still trained on the door before her. Her mind working at what she just experienced.

“What?” he exclaimed as he rushed around to face her. “Are you okay?”

She doesn’t look at him. There’s a frown on her face and she’s still looking at the door, unable to think of anything except the burning string of words that was said between them.

“Em,” he called.

This time she does look up at him; her brows still knitted and her eyes frantic and lost.

He can tell she’s not here with him; can tell she’s not yet recovered from everything that just happened.

“I’m okay. I just…all the ways I expected that going – nothing can really prepare you to face something like _that_ , you know?” she paused to work out her next words in her head.“It wasn’t so much the shouting or the slap in the face, it was more the depth of the anger and bitterness in her eyes how much we hurt her by falling in love with each other.”

“I know what you mean,” he said distractedly. He’s staring through her and that’s when she looked up at him again; looked up at the man that this was all about. She studied him as he stared into the spaces around her, his mind miles away.

She loved him, it couldn’t be helped and though they made plans to figure things out, to take things slowly; she already knew.  
She knew what she wanted; knew who she wanted everything with. Even in all the chaos and fog that was now starting to settle, it was becoming clearer and clearer; it was him. It had always been him.

And by some miracle, he had wanted her just as much; even when she had no idea what she needed; he had loved her beautifully and now he was hers. Well, _almost_.

“Hey,” she said, trying to pull him from his trance like state.

He looked over at her; a sweet smile brightening his face; his brown eyes twinkly and soft as he stared down at her.

He stepped closer to her, his body only a few inches from hers.

“Hey,” he said in return.

She smiled at him; her own eyes feeling just a twinkly as his. She lifted a hand to brush against his rough cheek and he closed his eyes; reveling in the feel of her soft palm against him. He leaned into the touch and her eyes softened as she watched his reaction; admiring the way he accepted the feel of her.

“You okay?” she asked.

His eyes flew open and his hand went to cover the one she laid across his face; gently lacing their fingers together before he answered.

“As best as can be expected,” he said flatly but with a smile on his lips. “How bout you?”

“I feel … guilty,” she replied.

“I know the feeling.”

“Will it always feel like this? Wrong?”

“Do we feel wrong?”

She thought about it; looked over at his hand covering her own on his cheek. “No,” she whispered as she continued to stare up at him and a thundering guilt rocked her as she glimpsed a hint of weariness and sadness in his eyes.“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For being an idiot. I should have said something a long time ago but I was just too damn stubborn,” her voice is shaking and her eyes are growing wetter and wetter with each word.

He slipped his hand from hers before reaching for her again; his hands finding the sides of her face; his thumbs rubbing along her cheek to soothe her worries and guilt. Kit looked over at her with what felt like a devastating amount of fondness and worry. So much so that Emilia can’t meet her eyes. “Hey! We all made mistakes here. Let’s just be grateful we found each other,” he whispered as he stared lovingly at her. “I’m not going to allow you to blame yourself. We fell in love Em and I don’t regret it. Do you?”

“I will never be sorry for loving you cause I can’t fight this. God knows I’ve tried.”

“I don’t want to fight it,” Kit whispered back.

A small smile moved across her lips as her gaze melted to his. Her hands clung to his bicep before he pulled her into a tight embrace. His arms wrapping around her neck and above her shoulders and her own arms enclosing his middle; holding on for dear life.

He was breathing against her head; his eyes closed; taking her in deeply. Their bodies still reacting to the argument they had just experienced.

“You think she’ll be alright?” he asked into her hair.

“I don’t know. I sure hope so,” she said into the crook of his neck.

 

They held each other in the heaviness of the foyer; the walls still stained with the chaos that Rose had brought to them; with the truth of her words and the ache in her heart and bones. They comforted each other and assured each other that things would be okay; that all this pain and heartache would be worth everything they would build together. Emilia had sobbed into his shoulder and he had done the same quietly as they relived the last few minutes with Rose. The hurt had hit her hard; they had both done so much damage and there was no guarantee when she’d be okay or if she’d even be okay at all; and that scared them.

When Emilia finally pulled away from the hug she had offered to cook him breakfast but he refused. He wanted to be the one to do that for her. He wanted her to go upstairs and take a shower, rest a little and he’d have food ready and waiting when she came back.

She had eventually agreed after several persuasive attempts by the man before her. She headed up the stairs; her body drained and defeated as she dragged one leg after the other up the staircase.

Kit got to work as soon as she left the room. It took him a while to find where everything was but he eventually fell into a nice groove. He finished earlier than expected and retired to the guest bathroom downstairs to have a shower himself. The hot water had calmed his spirit and soothed his aching muscles. It was by far one of the best showers he’s had in a long while; not only because of the tension from their round with Rose but the knots that had wracked his body from the position they slept in on the couch.

When he returned to the kitchen, there she was standing over the stove. He watched the back of her as he entered the large area. His hair was still damp from the shower and his chest exposed. He wore only his denim pants and nothing else. His bare feet padding along the floor quietly as he approached her.

“I know I’m shirtless again but there’s not much I can do right now,” he said into the silence.

She spun around; a strip of bacon in hand as her gaze met his. She leaned against the island in the middle of the kitchen, her elbows bracing against the hard marble area as she munched on the piece of bacon. “I could do your laundry when we’re done here,” she said between chews.

He laughed lightly before responding, “That’s okay. The whole idea of me making breakfast was to get you to relax. Just point me in the direction of your washing machine and I’ll be fine.”

She eyed him peculiarly; a single brow raising high on her forehead. She looked Kit up and down with a gaze hot enough to scorch, lingering on his bare arms and chest. “Anything you say,” she said as she whirled around to examine the food on the stove again.

She lifted the cover on each pot and container to see what he had prepared: scrambled eggs, French toast, bacon and a fresh pot of coffee sitting to her right. She was so busy sieving through the food that she hadn’t noticed that he was now standing behind her. She was startled when she felt strong arms enfolding her; wrapping themselves around her silk robe; pulling her into him.

His face nuzzled against her neck, taking in a full lung of her sweetness; his eyes closing to savor the feel and smell of her.

She hadn’t reacted in the way he was expecting but he continued to hold her from behind; his front pressed against her silky, smooth back while she stole another piece of bacon “You smell clean,” she acknowledged; a smirk tugging at her lips.

“So do you,” he said as he took another whiff of her.

She tried her best to suppress a smile that had been growing; struggling to remain as unaffected as possible. She spun around in his arms; her eyes immediately finding his; her hand coming up to pop a piece of bacon into his mouth.

He chewed happily, a wide grin stretching his lips as he enjoyed the treat and the view of the beautiful woman pressed into him. She was breathtaking; her pink plump lips and her wide blue green eyes enticed him; making it difficult for him to focus on anything else.

He lowered his head and gave her lips a quick peck before stepping to the side to pour the coffee into two large mugs.

She loaded a single plate with scrambled eggs, two slices of French toast and nearly ten strips of bacon. She pushed the plate onto the island and waited for him to follow with the coffee mugs.

They stood at the isle in the middle of the room eating from the same dish while they made idle conversation and sipped on the warm beverage. She looked over at the man who was trying to steal her slice of French toast and the way he smiled suspiciously as he munched on the syrup soaked bread and it made her heart stop.

He was so beautiful, so loving, so sweet and so incredibly funny. In the early afternoon glow of the sun; the light streaming through her windows and the soft laughter that filled the room; she was completely filled. It felt domestic and real; something she’s dreamed of for so long and she couldn’t help but ease into it; get comfortable and really feel the things it erupted from her.

It felt good to have her best friend back; felt good to smile and laugh with him. The simplicity of the moment was breathtaking; her entire body feeling light and her heart swelling with so much love and contentment.

She wouldn’t push things; she’d allow them to fall together as they needed to; she’d allow them to flow organically and be what they needed to be with each other because the existence of moments like these made it worth it. It made all the tears and turmoil feel ages old; pale and weak.

She never wanted to hurt Rose and though the pain and guilt still rode her conscience, it only faded away into the blackness. It was nice to be here with him; to share this meal with him, knowing that there was nothing really standing in the way of what they dreamed of.

 

He did his laundry with a smile on his face; his mind revisiting the wonderful space they were just in; the wonderful meal they had just shared. He was leaving the laundry area when he glimpsed her in the living room; sitting in a chaise at the large front window. Her hair was hanging to one side as she read a book. Her socked feet crossed at the ankles in front of her on the long sofa chair; her toes wiggling as her eyes scanned the pages.

He stopped to look at her, his shoulder leaning into the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest.

He smiled to himself as he observed the adorable creature. He had no idea what she was reading but he could watch her like this all day. She might think him a creep or think him completely silly for the thought but to see her like this made his insides melt; made his stomach flutter and his chest tighten with anticipation of more moments like this.

He was happy to have her; happy to be in her life still. This is where he wanted to be, regardless of how muddled things were right now; he wanted what he wanted and nothing would change that. The next few months would be hard, he knew it; they would be crucial and transformational but he was ready to face it, _with her_.

He felt his pulse quicken and his breathing increase before he snapped from his daydream. Allowing his mind to clear and his thoughts to realign with more productive contemplations. He was about to walk away when Emilia’s phone rang. He stopped in his tracks as she picked it up, her brows coming together when she noticed the name on her screen. 

Kit watched as her body went from relaxed and calm to rigid and tense. Whatever the call was about, it wasn’t good and the anxiety inside him rose as he approached her.

“Okay, we’ll be right there,” she said as she ended the call.

She looked up at Kit, her eyes filled with worry and fear. She closed the book on her lap while her legs slipped from the chaise sofa.

“We have to go,” she said hurriedly.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“It’s Rose. She’s at the pub and she’s drunk.”

It didn’t take much to put two and two together. He knew Rose very well and he also knew what she was like when she was drunk. He knew completely what all this meant and his heart sped up at the possible state she might be in.

He rushed to grab his clothes from the dryer; pulling them on with a few swift movements before ushering Emilia through the door and into his car.

 

They arrived at the pub in less than half an hour. They noticed that the parking lot only had a few cars and Emilia released a breath of relief that she never knew she was holding. Walking into the dimly lit establishment never felt so absolute and final.  
The early afternoon made the activity non-existent with very few patrons inside.

Upon entering the room, they immediately glimpsed the red headed woman at the bar; her body almost slumped over the counter as she sat on the bar stool. She was conscious, thankfully; her hands waving above her head while she spoke to the bartender animatedly.

Kit was about to rush to her side when their paths got cut off by Emilia’s friend, Katy made the call to her earlier.

“Hey! Thanks for calling,” Emilia said breathlessly.

“That’s completely alright. She’s been chatting up a storm in here. I did the best I could to quiet her but she did say some things,” Katy said as she eyed them both.

Emilia suddenly felt conscious of herself and the awkwardness that was blanketing the air around them. She looked at Kit who quickly and ruefully glanced over at her before turning his attention back to her slender friend.

The moment was broken by a string of loud, slurred words coming from the bar, “Who does that? You know – who does that to somebody they supposedly love?” she asked the bartender as her hands flailed above her head.

Kit immediately strutted to her side; one arm going to rest on her back to steady her, the other holding her upper arm firmly.

“Hey look who it is?” she said through a fit of drunken laughter.

Kit nodded to the bartender, who he knew quite well before attempting to remove the inebriated woman from the bar stool.

“Hey! Get your hands off me,” she managed.

Emilia watched from a distance; her friend by her side taking in the scene as well. They stood at the pub’s entrance so they could avoid Rose seeing them and risk her becoming more uncontrollable and irate. She could hardly make out what was being said between the two but she knew Kit was having a hard time getting her to leave with him and she didn’t blame the woman – as drunk and out of it as she might be.

“It’s okay. I’m going to take you home,” Kit whispered to the slightly swaying woman.

She gave him a suspicious but somehow flirty look. “You can’t do that,” she said as she clumsily poked him in his chest. “The party’s not over yet and I’m not done with my drink,” she said as she pointed to a half filled rock glass of an auburn brown liquor.

“I think you’ve had quite enough and you can always drink at home. Come here,” he said as he slid her body from the stool.

“Hey… wha…what are you doing?” she’s confused and resisting him with the little energy she can muster; pulling her hand from his tight grip and easing her body away from him. “Where’s your girlfriend? She’s the one you should be…” her voice is shaky and barely comprehensible.

He doesn’t answer her but he managed to get her to walk with him; slowly and unsteadily but she’s making her way to the door.  
He thought about lifting her but he didn’t want to grab the attention of the few people who sat in the building. He was already causing enough of a scene; capturing the eyes of those around him as they left. He prayed no one recognized them; hoped no one took any pictures and as they approached the door, Rose realized she was about to leave and began wrestling and twisting from his grip, “Let me go,” she grinded out.

Emilia and her friend were waiting by the car when they saw the two figures emerging from the building. She watched as Rose leaned and sagged against Kit; her legs wobbly and barely moving; Kit basically dragging her towards them.

He’s pulling her lightly when her gaze landed on the brunette woman. She stared blankly at first then she sneered; mouth twisting. There was a flash of anger in her eyes and then a quick jolt from her as she raced to grab at the woman.

Kit’s hand wrapped around her middle quickly, yanking her back to him as Emilia shifted uncomfortably from her position next to her friend; the sudden movement making her jerk.

Kit opened the door to the back of his car before easing the redhead into the seat; his body collapsing next to her in an attempt to block her path from exiting the vehicle. He sat with her; his voice smooth and reassuring as he explained why and where he was taking her.

Emilia could hear soft sobs coming from her as she asked him why he did what he did and how he could hurt her in the way that he had. Her head was on his shoulder as her cries slowly faded out.

She was speaking to her friend when she noticed Kit gently closing the car door behind him.

He walked over to the duo; his strides short but purposeful. “We need to get her home. I think we should take her to your place first and then call someone from there to come get her, is that okay?”

“Yes, that’s totally fine,” she turned to face her friend. “Katy, thanks again. I owe you big time,” she said as she pulled the woman into a quick hug. “I’ll call you.”

Kit nodded to the woman before circling the car and jumping into the driver’s seat.

Emilia sat next to him; throwing a quick glance over her shoulder at the small woman that had been curled up in the back seat; her breathing calm and steady.

 

Kit lowered the woman into the white plush comforter; her head sinking into the pillows beneath her. She hardly stirred; the alcohol in her system holding her fully in her dreamlike state. She mumbled incoherently when her body hit the bed but she remained unconscious the whole time.

Emilia pulled a chair to the side of her as she stared down at the pale, lifeless woman. Her hair wildly falling around her face and against the white backdrop of the sheets. She used her fingers to carefully brush the strands in place; to gently push the hair away. Her fingers combed through the red mass before the back of her hand found her cheek; lovingly stroking the soft skin there.

“I hate seeing her like this,” she whispered to the man who stood on the other side of the bed. “I hate what this is doing to her.”

Kit sighed heavily before running his fingers through his own hair; looking down at Emilia as she distractedly touched Rose’s sleeping face. “I’m worried about her,” he said gruffly.

“I know. Me too,” Emilia added.

“I’m gonna call Charlene. She’s her best friend, she’ll know what to do. She’ll take her home and make sure she’s okay. I don’t think being around us right now is such a good idea,” Kit finished.

“You’re right. I just…”

“There’s nothing we can do right now. She needs to heal, she needs space and time to get over this.”

Emilia nodded quickly as she pulled her hand away from the woman’s forehead and exited the room with Kit; his hand on the small of her back as he ushered her into the hall.

He closed the door gently behind him before pulling his phone from his pocket and dialing the blonde woman’s number. He walked away as he spoke and Emilia watched him; watched the way his head hung in defeat and sadness as he spoke Rose’s best friend.

He was Rose’s best friend as well and she knew it bothered him more than he let on. To see her like this, knowing he was partially to blame must be a terrible burden to bear. She felt sorry for him; she felt sorry for Rose. It was a horrible situation that they had all been thrown into. A terrible place to breathe and live in.

 

Charlene showed up at Emilia’s door maybe an hour later. Her blonde hair flowing in the evening breeze and a black coat hugging her body tightly. She made her way up to the mahogany door and knocked quickly; her head turning to glance at the yard behind her.

Kit was the one to let her inside. She stared at him intensely when the door swung open.

“Charlene,” he nodded. “Thank you so much for coming.”

“It’s no problem,” she responded as she walked into the foyer area; her eyes quickly scanning the massive space in front of her. “Where is she?” she asked; not wanting to waste any time with idle chatter or amicable niceties.

Kit closed the door behind them before turning to face the woman. He didn’t know what he was expecting; more shouting and screaming or maybe a smack in the head for breaking her best friend’s heart.

It didn’t come and he wondered if she even knew what was going on.

“She’s sleeping in the guestroom,” he said as he walked past the woman to lead her down the hall. He cracked open the door, poking his head inside before swinging it open all the way.

She was still asleep; her chest slowly rising and falling with each breath that she took.

Charlene entered the room before he did; releasing a sigh as she saw the state her best friend was in. She slowly made her way to sit in the chair Emilia had left there earlier; her hand resting against her forehead, brushing it from her face to her hair.

“Was it worth it?” she asked Kit quietly.

“What?” his heart speeding up; his stomach dropping.

“Was it worth it?” she asked again, this time turning her head to look over at the man at the foot of the bed.

_She did know._

“I never wanted to hurt her,” he sighed into the stillness of the room; his gaze growing sadder and more depressed.

“I’m sure you didn’t,” she said as she looked down at her friend. “She loved you ya know? She loved you and you broke her.”

He didn’t answer this time. He just watched the silent interaction between the two. The way Charlene looked at her and the way she stroked her hair as Emilia had done earlier; it was heartbreaking. He loved the woman and he’d hurt her in the worst way imaginable; betrayed her trust and broke her spirit.

_There was no going back. There was no way to undo the damage._

“How are we going to do this? Should I wake her?” Charlene asked as she stood; straightening her back and smoothing down her coat.

“I don’t know. I could carry her to your car,” Kit concluded.

“Maybe that’s best. I don’t want to wake her and make her upset,” Charlene added as she stared past the door and into the hall.

Kit assumed she was waiting for Emilia to appear and further prove her point. “I’ll have to send for her car later. Is it still at the pub?” the woman asked; her dark eyes burning holes into him through the badly lit guest room.

“Yeah, we didn’t want to bring it here and then she’d have to come get it. It’ll be safe at the pub. I’ve left my car there before.”

“Hmm,” she straightened, spine first, and then pushed fully to her feet; walking towards the door. “Do what you need to do,” she said wryly; exiting the dark room.

She was followed shortly by Kit who had Rose cradled in his arms. She felt so small; so light and childlike. He looked down at her face; watched how it contorted slightly and her fingers lightly twitched.

He walked slowly as Charlene led him to the front door.

As he approached, his eyes glimpsed Emilia standing at the entrance; holding the door open as Charlene made her way through it. She anxiously toyed with the handle as they got closer; not knowing what to expect from Charlene. The blonde woman glared at her as they past and he softened his eyes as he made his way through; reassuring her that she need not take any of this personally.

He lowered the woman into the front seat of the car; dragging the seat belt across her slender frame before gently closing the car door.

He straightened and stared over at Charlene who stood on the other side of the vehicle. “Please, take care of her,” he said quietly.

“I always do,” she said; her tone cool and cutting. It does as she no doubt intended.

She lowered herself into the car and sped off, leaving Kit to stare at the disappearing vehicle. He looked over his shoulder to see Emilia staring at him; her hands nervously knotting and tangling in front of her; her face drained and horrified, showing everything he could not put into words.

 

It’s been almost two months since the confrontation and they’ve been making do with the limitations they’ve been given. They both spoke with their agents after the incident; it was a necessary first step. Damage control was needed and it was needed fast. 

The news was hard to swallow but what else could they do. Their agents wanted them to keep everything under wraps. It was okay to go public with the breakup but to go public with a new relationship right now was not advisable. They needed to allow some time to pass before coming out and letting the world know that they were a _thing_. That way, no assumptions or connections could be made between what took place with Rose and what was happening with them.

_Any time spent together had to be done in the privacy of their homes._

It took several trips back and forth before they grew accustomed to the routine of not being seen together in public. She’d leave an interview or a photoshoot and head straight for Suffolk. They’d spend the night or a few days together before she had to head back home. Those moments would be the hardest; those moments she’d cling to him in a goodbye hug or kiss that never felt like enough. 

The weight of not being able to do as they wanted was heavy; it was burdensome and it bothered her greatly.

She worried of how the public would react to the news; she worried about how their friends and families might digest their new found relationship. It was a lot to take in and even more to understand. She knew it would require time but her anxiety pulled her to these dark places often; almost never allowing her a single night’s rest unless she was with him. In those instances, they’d make love for hours until she was too tired to even think, the sleep would pull her but then her dreams would pull harder; taking her to the frightening places her mind had created.

Kit was just the same, most of his time was spent traveling to and from Emilia’s; the two hour trip becoming something he’d grown accustomed to; something that he’d even looked forward to. The destination was the goal and the goal was _her_. He’d never complain but it would be nice to take her out on a date every now and then, to stroll through parks and have lunch at her favorite pub. He knew it bothered her; knew she was subconsciously naming karma for her evil deeds; knew she was blaming herself for the difficult phase they’d have to endure for a few more months. 

 

It was a beautiful Saturday morning and Kit had woken up later than he expected. He stirred to find the space next to him empty; his arm outstretched against the cold, bare comforter; still foggy.It took his brain a while to figure out that he was alone in Emilia’s huge king sized bed. He wasn’t sure when she got up but he hadn’t felt a thing.He had grown so used to the room; so used to the space they’d share that the mattress had meshed with his body perfectly; his scent evident in the pillows and sheets.

He stretched and yawned before swinging his legs from the bed; walking lazily through the hallway and sluggishly down the stairs; the sunlight cascading and enveloping every surface of the house. There was no sign of his beloved but he heard sounds of her; heard the banging of the piano and the serene sounds that came from the back room.

He followed the music; followed the melody that called to him. He knew where he would find her and the state that she would be in; a total trance and totally immersed in her work.

He approached the room; his senses already swimming with everything he saw.

Emilia sitting at her black, shinning grand piano; her back ramrod straight; her fingers dancing gracefully on the keys and her eyes shut tight as she hummed and rocked into the music she played. He watched as her hair slowly moved around her face and her body rocked back and forth. The look on her face somewhat contorted as she hit the notes and keys she wanted; forcing the song from her soul and flowing with the tunes that rang around her.

She sat against a large window; the view of her backyard and pool clear as day in the shimmering daylight. The walls around the window had been covered with a grand bookcase; books peeking out from their slots on each crowded shelf.

The room felt light, yet deeply majestic as the keys winded and turned in the air; the plush carpet against the wooden sofa and the coffee table in between them where the bowl of fruits sat added to the striking aesthetic and feel.

He watched her; a smile moving across his face as her mouth fell open and a booming voice echoed into the morning air.

_Wise men say, only fools rush in,  
But I can’t help, falling in love with you._

It was heavenly; completely captivating the way her voice melted together with the sounds that came from the piano.

_Shall I stay? Would it be a sin -  
If I can't help falling in love with you?_

His body feeling relaxed and at ease as he leaned against the wooden frame of the doorway; his arms crossed over his chest; one leg crossing at his ankle; his mind completely blown by her. He’d heard her sing once before but never like this; never in an acoustic setting with a singular instrument accompanying her.

_Like a river flows, surely to the sea_  
_Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be_  
_Take my hand, take my whole life, too_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you._

At the end of the song, he found himself slow clapping. He was genuinely impressed.

Her eyes flew open and her hands pulled away from the keys. A slow crimson shade crept up her cheeks as one hand went to cover her eyes in complete mortification.

“How long have you been standing there?” she asked shyly.

“Long enough,” he replied with an amused smile; noticing how she blushed at his words.

He slowly made his way over to her as she shifted along the length of the bench to make room for him; her eyes finding his as soon as he took his seat.

“You have an amazing talent here,” he added.

“Please stop” she begged as she lowered her head; hiding the furious blush that threatened.

“Why?” he dragged.

“Cause…”

“I’m not allowed to compliment you? Honestly Em, that was… so fucking good! My heart was beating like crazy when I heard you.”

She released a playful giggle, dipping her head quickly before her gaze met his again.

“Are you okay?” he asked more seriously; though his smile remained intact.

She nodded slowly, “I am. I’m just a little anxious about this interview and I’m not sure why.”

“It’ll be fine, I promise. Just stick to what your agent told you if things ever go haywire,” he reassured.

“I know. I just thought I’d play some music before heading out. It does something to me,” she confessed; a lopsided grin playing on her lips.

He smiled softly over at her; his hand resting on the keys, “I figured. You don't need to worry about a thing. You have such a beautiful soul,” he gushed.

“Kit, please!” crinkling her nose as she giggled. Her laugh faded after a moment, turning soft and a little shy when stared over at her.

“Okay. Fine. I’m done but seriously though – don’t worry about that interview. You’ve got this,” he said as he sang the end of his sentence; his fingers running up and down on the keys as he pretended to play.

“Oh my god. You’re so good,” she laughed sarcastically.

“I know. I’ve been playing all my life,” he joked.

“Me. Me. Me,” he chimed as he repeatedly pressed on one single key.

“I think that’s enough,” she said as she tried to push him from the bench.

“Why? I’m so good. You’re just jealous,” he said as he pushed her back with his shoulder.

“Oh my god! Stop!” she laughed as she nearly lost her balance and fell off the bench.

“Why won’t you allow me to be great?” he laughed heartily.

 

She’s sitting with the production team crew; just beyond the set. Her makeup all done; her outfit ready and intact. The room felt hollow, felt huge but it somehow buzzed and echoed with the activities of a hundred people.

They made her feel at home; warm smiles and excited greetings meeting her with every movement she made; with every area of the set that she wandered. They were fans and genuinely nice people, she assumed; just about 95% of them already knowing who she was.

Her mind was starting to feel at ease; totally absent of her earlier worries and concerns.

She stared over at the two chairs in the middle of the room; the place that she’d be sitting shortly. It made her pulse quicken; it made her heart thunder against her chest.She wasn’t nervous but this interview would be a little longer and a little deeper than the ones she’s done recently which meant that, her personal life would become a topic.

They adjusted her makeup one final time before she was directed to the tall wooden director’s chair; she took her seat; her hands rubbing her dress to smoothen the crinkles and creases that had come from it riding up slightly.

The interviewer joined her, his chair facing hers; his hand outstretched as he lowered himself into his seat. His smile was so broad and bright; his teeth didn’t even look real.

“You look amazing,” he said to her once he was settled. “Are you nervous?” he asked curiously.

“A little. To be honest, I thought about not coming but then I was like nah, I probably should,” she joked.

He laughed with her; his head tossed back slightly with the sound that erupted from his chest. “Well, thank you for showing up,” he eyed her teasingly. “And don’t worry. Just a few routine questions, you’ll be fine,” he said with the sweetest smile.

Lights.

Camera.

Action.

The interview had started and like he said, it was just a few basic questions about who she was, her earlier life and a few others about the show. He had made her feel comfortable; made her feel safe, so safe that she was genuinely enjoying the conversation; her laughter bouncing around the hollow space; a little of the tension in her chest easing away.

The production team seemed to be enjoying themselves as well; their smiles spreading just as widely as hers had.

“So what can we expect from Season 8?” the interviewer asked.

“Honestly, I have no idea. We haven’t even received the scripts as yet so I haven’t a clue what to expect myself but for sure you can look forward to more badass scenes from Daenerys and her dragons. I mean a smart, hot chick riding a fire breathing mythical creature? Come on! Who doesn’t love that?” she ended on a chuckle.

“Everyone loves em! Let’s hope we get more of those scenes. Fingers crossed,” the interviewer added.

“Hopefully,” she repeated as she crossed both her fingers.

“Well, we can’t wait! I’m such a huge fan of the show and season 7 was _amazing!_. You said you haven’t received your script as yet which means that filming hasn’t started, correct?”

“That is correct. We’re not on set just yet – still at home enjoying time with our families and friends. I’m back in London soaking up as much as I can before we have to leave again. We travel to all these rich, beautiful places but nothing beats being at home in your own bed.”

“That’s great! I can’t imagine how happy you all must be feeling right now, you’re not at home for most of the year.”

“Right. Right. Sometimes 6 or 7 months out of the year. It’s crazy but it’s the job and we love it!”

“I can imagine you do! You mentioned family and friends, no partner as yet?”

“No, not quite but I’m also keeping my fingers crossed on that as well,” she said; her heart speeding up at the sudden change in topic. “It’s very hard to date when you’re traveling to these amazing countries 5 or 6 months out of the year. It takes a lot of dedication and hard work but I’m not there as yet. I’m really old fashion when it comes to love and relationship. I need to allow my relationships to flow and that’s hard to do with all the distance.”

“Well that’s unfortunate, though our sources say otherwise. There’s word that you’ve found a new beau,” he said curiously.

Emilia’s stomach dropped. She laughed; a nervous and forced thing that tightened at her throat, “Is that so?”

“Yes, there’s an article that’s been rattling our minds; fans are going crazy; gossip is running wild. Are you aware of the article?”

Her face is strained; her cheeks hurting from the smile she’s trying to maintain. “No, I don’t think I am. What article?”

“There’s an article of you and a fellow costar, Kit Harington looking quite close at the Heathrow airport last month,” he said as he lifted a copy of the article to the screen with the picture spread widely in the middle.

“No, I haven’t seen the article. I don’t really pay much attention to what those tabloids are saying.”

“I get that, I totally understand. There’s often no truth to them but in these recent rumors there’s a lot of buzz about a breakup between Kit and Rose Leslie, how true are those rumors? Do you know?”

“I don’t know. They could be true. They might not be. I mean, I haven’t heard anything but if that is the case then that’s quite sad. I love them both very much and that’s never going to change but I think right now they need their privacy to heal and people need to give that to them,” she said, trying her best to not sound snide.

“It is quite sad. They made a lovely couple.”

“Yes they did or do. I don’t know,” she said as she released a small chuckle.

“But back to you Emilia, you’re saying there’s no truth to the rumors about you and Kit Harington?”

“That’s correct.”

“That’s interesting because rumor has it, you’re the reason for the breakup? That he left Rose and started something with you shortly after. Words like cheating and affair have been thrown around…”

She doesn’t answer; she’s not quite sure how to answer. There’s a lump at her throat and it’s blocking the sounds that need to come forth. Her throat tightening and her pulse is incredibly fast; she can feel the wetness in her palms and the pounding of her heart. There’s a panic that’s beginning to set into her stomach; that is threatening to live in her bones.

She continued to smile; trying her best to remain unaffected by his line of questioning.

The lights that shine at her are brighter than they’ve ever been; the glare is blinding and she’s forcing herself not to squint or shield her eyes with her hand. The studio and the people behind the cameras are fading away; merely black shadows now; the room feeling like it’s closing in around her; the silence becoming louder and uncomfortable. She’s cringing at soul level. Her legs itching to make a quick escape.

“Rumor has it, Rose was basically dragged out of a bar right here in London by Kit and yourself after drunkenly spilling the beans about the details of the breakup? What do you have to say to that?”


	14. Chapter 14

“Rumor has it, Rose was basically dragged out of a bar right here in London by Kit and yourself after drunkenly spilling the beans about the details of the breakup? What do you have to say to that?”

"I don't understand. I thought we came here to talk about the show and anything pertaining to the show - not meaningless gossip...," the words are sharp and cutting but her face is cool and calm. She doesn't want to be mean or too harsh; these things follow you; it stains you and it's hard to shake but her patience and self restraint is running out.

Her mood shifted from nervous and anxious to irritated really quickly; her blood boiling and her face feeling warmer and warmer with each passing second. She's counting in her head; the words almost grinding out from beyond her teeth, out into the tense space between them.

"We just want some answers Emilia. Your fans _and_ the fans of the show are itching for some answers."

"My _fans_ wouldn't want what you're _trying_ to do right now. So can we please talk about something else?" she asked point blankly.

"C'mon! Just one little hint; one little juicy piece of detail. Throw us something. Anything. Are you guys dating? Is it serious? Does Rose approve? Are you guys still friends?"

It was enough to have her forget how to breathe; how to think straight; the words of her agent now through the window. "You know what?" she said as she started reaching for the mic; fumbling around to get a good grip on it. "This interview is over," she finished as she hopped from the high chair. She spun to place the item in the seat; getting a slight glimpse of the shocked interviewer. His mouth hung open; his gestures as if he was easing away from his seat to talk her out of her imminent departure.

She never gave him a chance; she stepped down from the slightly raised platform; her heels now leaving carpet and making contact with concrete as she clicked away; pushing passed production crew members and people staring after her.

She exited the room; her feet moving rapidly; her heels clicking speedily against the floor beneath her. She was fuming; her body straight and tense as she sought an exit.

She nearly collided head first with her agent Dave; the dark stocky man nearly losing his breath at the sudden sight of her.

"Where are you going? Is the interview done?” he asked apprehensively.

"No but I am," she said as she moved past the man and headed into the elevator. He quickly followed her as he put his phone to his ear; calling for her van to be pulled around.

When the doors slid together, Emilia felt a breath leave her; a heavy, thick thing that made her body sag against the elevator wall. She felt the sting of tears against her closed eyes; the feel of her own trembling hands against her thighs and she sighed loudly.

The elevator was silent except for the man who stood apposite her; his attention and time trained on the phone call he was on; his voice being the only sign of life behind these shiny metallic doors.

She tried to collect herself as she approached the ground floor; her hands shaking a bit harder now. She gripped the side of her dress to steady them; to put on a facade of strength, bravery and control; something she was having a hard time faking; something she did not grasp quite well.

He tucked the phone into his black jacket and stared over at her; his dark brown eyes crinkled and creased from trying to figure out what was happening.

The elevator jerked slightly as it screeched to a standstill; her back straightened; her shoulders fell back and her chin lifted just a bit. She'd fake it until she made it. No matter how much she trembled and quaked beneath all this makeup and expensive clothes, she would not wear fear for anyone else to see.

The doors slowly glided open and her legs took her forth. She rounded the corner to see people standing outside the glass doors and the large expanse of window at the front, more than likely waiting for a glimpse of her.

There were camera men too; lots of them, no doubt waiting for their first shot after her disaster of an interview.

The burly security guards from the building fell into step with her; they held the door open and she dived into the sea of persons that waited. She stopped to sign a few autographs as the paparazzi snapped and buzzed around her.

She smiled gracefully as she greeted the adoring fans; her agent and security personnel encircling her closely; creating a barrier between her and the wild men of the media.

She turned to face them as she made her way to the vehicle; her face going instantly solid and hard.

"Emilia, is it true what they're saying about you and Kit Harington? Are you having an affair?" One camera man shouted as he followed closely behind her; the studio security blocking his path.

"Is Rose still in the picture?" Another shouted as he snapped wildly.

"Are you going to see him now? Is he waiting for you in the van?" another one joked.

She kept her head lowered as one of the bodyguards made a way for her through the men. He reached for the handle; throwing the door open so she could hop inside.

"Are you okay with being the other woman Emilia?" was the final question she heard before the door closed behind her; the frenzied reporters and fans moving about like lost animals behind the darkly tinted glass. The cameras still flashed and the men still throwing questions but it was all a muffled mess and she was happy about that.

She curled into the furthest corner of the vehicle; her body and face nearly fully turned to the window; her eyes blank and lost as she stared.

Her agent sat next to her; a world of space between them. He looked over at her, knowing there was an issue but not wanting to press too much.

As the huge vehicle pulled away from the curve of the street, he cleared his throat and turned, "Emilia, what happened?" he asked; his voice soft and careful.

She didn't answer; she didn't turn around; she didn't even acknowledge his presence. She just wanted to be left alone and he could see it but he had a job to do; a job that involved protecting her interest and protecting her.

"Ms. Clarke?" he said again, a little firmer now.

"Dave, not now," she said tightly; her gaze still directed at the window, her body not even flinching under her words.

"I'm sorry Emilia but I need to know what happened. It's my job," he added sympathetically as he tilted his head to the side a bit to capture her steely, fixed attention.

She felt the loaded emotion that was building up in her chest; her insides shivering with anxiety and anger. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to erupt but she was so numb; so frozen that she could not find an ounce of energy to speak or to cry or to scream; partly because she didn’t want to but also because she couldn’t.

She let out a loud sigh before attempting to find the words, "He did as you suspected,” she paused as her mind went back to the interview; went back to the way she felt attacked and cornered. Where in their job description did it say to treat people like that? “He threw questions at me. He pushed me into answering them and I did as you said, I tried to _redirect_ the conversation but he wouldn't stop..." she paused again to stare in front of her ; looking straight ahead at nothing in particular, "And so I left. I walked out," she finished then turned to face the window again.

"You walked off the interview?"

"That's what I just said," she said impatiently.

Dave didn't say anything. He just stared over at the woman before setting his eyes to his own window. He's turning his cellphone over and over in his hand as his mind worked; thinking of a plan that could smooth over what was coming or even to soften the blow for the woman next to him.

There's a sigh that comes from the woman again and he turned his gaze to find hers already seeking his out; her eye sad and watery.

"I'm sorry," she began. "I know you're just trying to help; you're just trying to do your job," she mumbled softly.

A small smile tugged at the older man's lips; his dark brown eyes growing soft and compassionate. "You don't need to apologize Emilia. I get why you're angry and I'm here to fix that. Don’t worry about anything.” He pulled his phone closer to his face; his fingers typing madly at the screen. Without looking at her, he asked, "Have you told Kit about this mess?"

"No, not yet."

"Good. Give me a chance to deal with this before you do. I don't want him getting angry and doing something stupid just yet."

"How do you know he'll do something stupid?" she asked, one brow raised curiously.

"He will," he said confidently.

"How?"

"Ms. Clarke, I'm here with you right now because I'm good at my job. I'm very good. In all my years working with celebrities, tabloids and affair drama the male almost always does something idiotic. Your friend Kit, he loves you and he wants to protect you which means that anyone who hurts you will be an easy and mind I say _predictable_ target. Believe me. Trust me. Give me a day or two and then tell him. He can do whatever dumb plan he comes up with then."

Emilia released a chuckle. Her mind acknowledging the truth in his words, the faith in his plan but her heart ached at the fact that she'd have to keep this from Kit. They've shared so much over the past couple of years, these past couple of weeks even; it felt bizarre to keep something this important from him.

"Fine. I won't tell him," she said truthfully. "You have two days."

"That's all I'll need," Dave grinned.

She shook her head at the unbelievable man next to her. "You're right, you are really good at what you do. If we could only fix your love life," she teased.

"Honey, no man can handle me," he coyly finished.

 

Emilia walked into her foyer that afternoon; her mind whirling with everything that had happened since this morning. She immediately noticed that Kit's cologne was lingering in the air. He must have left not too long ago. She smiled to herself at the thought of him going and coming as he pleased. It made her feel good; made her feel so close to him in ways she'd only dreamed of.

He had messaged her to find out how the interview went but she couldn't bring herself to lie and tell him it went okay or to even talk about that train wreck of a conversation. She was completely drained, completely numb to the thought and all she wanted to do was go to bed.

She wavered through the house; throwing her keys on the table next to the door; making her way up the stairs and into her bedroom; the conversation she had with Dave before exiting the vehicle replaying in her head as she moved around.

_"I want you to go inside and get some sleep. Keep yourself busy. Avoid social media completely, chances are there will be some nasty things there about you and Kit and I don't think you need to see that right now. I'll make a few calls and see what I can find out. Chris McGrath is clever but he's not that clever, if he asked those questions and had all those details, someone is feeding him with information. The question is, who?"_

____

__

____

____

_"Why does that interviewers name sound so familiar to me?” she paused reflectively. “You think someone told him about Kit and I?"_

_"I'm sure of it. As I said, two days. That's all I'll need to figure out who it was and to clean up your social media a bit."_

_"You've been on my Instagram haven’t you?"_

_"I have," he confessed._

_"How bad is it?" she asked timidly._

_He paused. "Bad. Just do as I say. Don't tell Kit. Don't say anything to anyone. Don't get seen with him. Damage control is what I do best," he sneered. "Two days."_

_"Two days," she repeated with a nod._

She drew herself a bath, easing her tired body into its warmth before closing her eyes against the steam. She fully submerged her body for a few seconds; holding her breath and sinking to the bottom of the tub. There was a certain peace and stillness that could only be found there; a certain feeling she wished she could prolong. Her lungs were screaming, set on fire by the oxygen that never came and right before the blackness overcame her, she pushed herself up above the water line.

__

__Gasping and coughing._ _

Her hands brushed at the strands of hair that stuck to her face; her chest still rapidly rising and falling with each pant. It was hard for her to catch her breath; to take in what she needed. It never felt like enough; she needed more.

__She eased into the side of the tub, trying her best to calm her body; to quiet her mind. She was tired. She's been tired for a while now and even though she knew to expect the chaos that was taking place; she hoped it would stop; wished it would disappear and vanish into nothing._ _

__Just then her phone rang out. She reached for the device, seeing Kit's face light up on the screen and her thumb hovered over the answer button. She wanted to talk to him, yearned even but she couldn't think of what she'd say to him when she felt like this. She stared at the phone for a little while longer as it disrupted the quietness of her bathroom, her brows coming together as she wondered what to do._ _

__She sighed and dropped the phone back in its place on the toilet cover; her body drooping as she listened to the ringtone. It made her sad to think of him worrying about her but better that than him doing something stupid and hurting them more._ _

__She pulled in a lungful of air before sliding into the tub again; her skin gliding along the cool ceramic surface as she found her sanity in the watery haven._ _

__

__She's sitting in the darkness of her living room clad in her red flannel pajamas; a glass of wine in one hand and the television remote in the other. She's flipping mindless through the channels, not sure what she's in the mood to watch. She's just trying to keep herself as busy as possible; trying not to think about the interview. She downed the glass of _Château Coutet_ and reached over for the bottle that sat on the coffee table in front of her. It wasn't what she intended to do with her evening but it ended up this way and she decided being buzzed enough to forget her catastrophe of a day wasn't so bad after all. It was either that or crying herself into a wet pillow; screaming and quaking herself into a black depressing hole._ _

__She was getting used to the clicking of the remote buttons in the silence when her phone lit up; instantly thinking it was Kit again. She looked over at the device next to her. Felt the presence of it there, sitting next to her on the sofa table; it's menacing presence. She wondered if she should look at it, wondered if she should even bother at all._ _

__She leaned slightly over the arm of the plush chair, taking a quick glance at the screen. The name that was there caused her to become curious._ _

She dropped the remote next to her in the couch and replaced her wine glass with the phone on the side table. She picked it up and slid it open; staring down at the message from Sophie that popped up.

_Sophie: Hey Emilia! Is everything okay?_

_Emilia: Hey darling! Everything's fine. What's up?_

_A few seconds past before Emilia saw the young woman typing again._

_Sophie: Maisie saw something on Instagram about you and Kit and called me. You sure everything's okay? It didn't seem that way from the comments. What's going on?_

Emilia's heart dropped; her stomach turned sickeningly. She should have avoided the message, now all she wanted to do was to run to Instagram to see what god awful things they were saying about them. She knew it wouldn't be pretty but she needed to know. She could handle it. She wasn't as delicate and frail as Dave made her out to be. She just needed to see.

She quickly shot off a message to the woman before heading to Instagram to see what all the chorus was about.

_Emilia: Thanks for checking in. I'm fine though. We both are. I appreciate it. We'll talk later <3 _

Her heart quickened as she waited for the app to load. Her palms grew clammy and her hands shook slightly; her grip on the device tightening the longer she had to wait. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe she should exit the app right now. Maybe...

__She ceased her thinking when the app popped up; refreshing to the latest post that a follower had made 3 minutes ago. She didn't pay much attention to what the post was about because the red stickers above the notification sign grabbed her immediately. Over two hundred new comments and tagged photos just waiting for her. She should turn back now. She should avoid clicking on the notification button but her thumb hovered for a few seconds and then lightly pressed down on the icon._ _

In no time, the page loaded and her eyes grew wide at the comments as she quickly scanned them.

_Selfish slut!_

_Whore!!!_

_You enjoy messing with things that don't belong to you? Home wrecking bitch_

_You ruined my OTP!!! Poor Rose :(_

_Fucking slut! I hate u_

____

____

_How could you?! What kind of friend are you? Kit deserves better_

She stared at the range of heinous comments scattered under her most recent photos. Pictures of her smiling. Pictures with Kit. Pictures without Kit. It didn't matter to them; they would ruin them; taint them with their slandering words. She tried to pull her eyes away; forcing herself to stop reading them but it was hard. It had stung, it had cut her deeply; and even with the existence of a few positive ones, encouraging her to ignore the hate, it still had stung.

____She exited and then swiped the app close before placing it on the coffee table in front of her. She drew her legs into herself; hugging them as her chin settled on her knees. She closed her eyes tightly against the venomous things she just saw; the tears burning behind her eyelids. She released a heavy breath as she rocked back and forth in the couch._ _ _ _

_____What has she done? Who has she become?_ _ _ _ _

____She was beginning to spiral into the darkness when her eyes opened and made contact with the bottle of wine that stood on her coffee table. She had almost forgotten it was there; almost forgotten how amazing it tasted and how amazing it made her feel. She drew in a few sniffles before reaching for the wine; completely ignoring the glass that had been sitting on the side table. She gripped the cork with her teeth; pulling and opening the bottle with a resounding _pop_. _ _ _ _

____She lifted the liquor to her lips; taking in as much of it as she could manage. Her lungs crippling for air when she pulled it away. She sat like that for a few minutes; the bottle in her lap as she clutched it. She was beginning to feel the subtle effects it had on her; the way her head felt light and floating; the way her body swayed slightly. She stared over at the television; just now realizing that she had stopped on a cooking channel._ _ _ _

____She scoffed to herself; her eyes rolling at the screen._ _ _ _

____She got up and staggered to the glass table in the corner of the room; grabbing the decanter of whiskey and a rock glass before clumsily making her way to the couch. She flopped down into the corner, the liquor in one hand and the glass in the other. She poured herself some of the dark yellow liquid; almost filling the glass to the rim. Her eyes fell to the screen again as she raised the drink; silently toasting to the drunken state to come._ _ _ _

____She downed the harsh liquid in a few quick gulps; feeling the way it burned as it hit her throat._ _ _ _

____"One down, several to go," she said with a face that twisted and cringed from the taste of it._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Kit struggled with the mahogany door; pushing and pulling at it; twisting and jiggling the key in its hole. His brows knitted as he became more impatient and more frustrated with the wooden contraption. It had never done this before and it made him worry more; not that he had stopped since yesterday. He hadn't heard from her much, no matter how many times he'd call or text. It drove him up the wall. If he hadn't been in meetings all day, he would have gotten here sooner. He would have driven like crazy to come see her but time and distance were the enemies._ _ _ _

____The door finally gave way and he sighed a heavy sigh of relief; pushing it open fully and stepping into the grand foyer space. The smell of liquor was potent in the air; making his nose crinkle and his face contort. He quickly closed the door behind him before calling out for her, "Emilia?" he shouted. Allowing it to echo throughout the empty house._ _ _ _

____"Em!" he called again; firmer and louder than before._ _ _ _

____Nothing came back. No words. No sound. Nothing._ _ _ _

____His heart sped up; his mind running wild with anxious and worrying thoughts._ _ _ _

____He quickly jogged into the living room; scanning the area for any sign of the brunette. Everything seemed to be in place with the exception of a few empty wine bottles, empty containers of food and a ruffled blanket thrown carelessly on the couch. He headed upstairs, checking her bedroom and bathroom; making note of the fact that her bed had not been slept in._ _ _ _

_____Where was she?_ _ _ _ _

____He pulled his phone from his pocket as he made his way through and through the house, in search of her._ _ _ _

____He dialed her number, listening into the open space for where the ringing would come from._ _ _ _

____He heard a faint sound coming from the back room; possibly from the study where her piano was. He headed in that direction, the smell of liquor getting stronger as her proceeded; the ringing getting louder._ _ _ _

____He ended the call before pushing the door open and stepping into the room._ _ _ _

____There he found her, sitting on the couch; her face lowered into her hands. She didn't look up when he entered, she hadn't heard him; hadn’t even noticed his presence._ _ _ _

____He slowly made his way over to her; his boot resting lightly against the carpeted floor._ _ _ _

____"Em," he said softly._ _ _ _

____"Please go. I don't want you seeing me like this," she said; her face still pressed into her hands._ _ _ _

____"Like what? What happened?" he asked; his voice dripping with concern._ _ _ _

____Just then Kit noticed her cellphone on the top of the piano alongside a half filled rock glass. He also made note of shards of glass in a corner of the room. Dark yellow liquid stained the white walls; dripping down onto the floor, creating a pool where the broken glass had ended up._ _ _ _

____He continued to advance on her; nearing the couch, he stopped and eased himself into it; putting a little space in between them as he stared over at the broken woman._ _ _ _

____"Em, please. Talk to me," he pleaded._ _ _ _

____She sprung to her feet, heading for the piano. Her body stood up straight, still in her pajamas but he could see signs of tiredness; signs that something was definitely wrong with her. Had she not slept the entire night?_ _ _ _

____She turned around to face him; her face pale; her eyes worn and red; her body weak and drained. She was weary, that much was evident._ _ _ _

____"I told you to leave," she said coolly as she reached over for the glass of whiskey._ _ _ _

____"I'm not leaving you like this," he said from his seat on the couch; his body turning to face the woman._ _ _ _

____"I'm fine."_ _ _ _

____"Em, it's 8 in the morning and you're drinking."_ _ _ _

____"Then I'm better than fine," she added wryly._ _ _ _

____"Em," he said again._ _ _ _

____She swirled the liquor in her hand; watching as the liquor stirred. "The interview was a disaster," she began. "He came at me with everything he had. He knew about the affair. He knew about what happened at the bar and he kept pushing so I left," her eyes never leaving the glass in her hand. "I came home and went online last night," she scoffed. "Boy, was that a mistake. My pictures are covered with lewd comments about me being a slut and a whore and a home wrecker."_ _ _ _

____He stood and quickly closed the gap between them; his hand reaching for the glass she held, prying the drink from her and resting it on the piano behind her. He clasped his hands over hers; ducking his head to catch the gaze she kept from him._ _ _ _

____She couldn't look at him; not when she was like this._ _ _ _

____"Look at me," he whispered, as she slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze. "You are _none_ of those things, do you hear me?"_ _ _ _

____She smiled; her eyes glossy and dazed. "Aren’t I? I did all those things they said I did. None of them are lies."_ _ _ _

____"Em," he started._ _ _ _

____She dropped to her knees suddenly; slipping her hands from his to find the buckle of his belt as she worked speedily._ _ _ _

____He grabbed at her hands; stilling them; his eyebrows frowning down at her. "What the hell Em? What are you doing?"_ _ _ _

____She tugged her hands from his again, continuing her work on his belt and he watched her completely stunned._ _ _ _

____He grabbed at her shoulders, pulling her up but she resisted; allowing her weight to pull her back to the floor again._ _ _ _

____She said nothing but pulled and tugged at his belt; prying his pants button open and searching for what she needed the most._ _ _ _

____"Em," he said softly; a concerned plea that turned into a drawn out moan as her hand closed around his member. He looked down at the woman before him; watched as she slowly pumped him; licking her palm and then continuing to jerk, back and forth. He was becoming hard; his body betraying him, causing him to want more than to comfort her and he knew this was always her plan; her plan to distract him, to make him forget and stop probing._ _ _ _

____He was ashamed that he gave in so easily; ashamed that he had allowed her to use him like this but the way her hands felt like magic, slowly undid him._ _ _ _

____He heard her spit; felt the slickness of it against her palm as she rubbed and gently squeezed the pleasure from him._ _ _ _

____He looked down at her; their eyes connecting instantly; a heated, lustful gaze that caused him to jerk into her hand; his hips moving at their own pace._ _ _ _

____Her gaze became more wanton as she stuck her tongue out; pulling his cock to her open mouth, pumping him so close to its wetness that he could feel her hot breath on his hardening shaft._ _ _ _

____"Fuck," he gasped; his eyes glued to what she was doing to him and that's when she took it into her mouth._ _ _ _

____It was only a few inches at first but then her head began to bob up and down on him; the head of his cock tickling the gap of her throat and he groaned deeply. Her hand continued to grip the base of him, slowly pumping and sliding on him as her mouth engulfed his hardness; the pleasure blowing his mind as her chin brushed against his tightening sacks with every bob that she made._ _ _ _

____She moaned around him; the vibrations traveling to his legs, causing his knees to buckle._ _ _ _

____She grinned wickedly at the effect she had on him. Her hand going to grip at his thighs giving herself added support as she worked him. She pulled away, sucking on the tip of him; swirling her tongue maddeningly slow around his opening. He watched the movement of her tongue; looked at the way her eyes met his with the innocence she knew would drive him mad._ _ _ _

____Her tongue came out again to lick around his near purple head, running it from tip to root and back up. She carefully drew it along the sides and back down again before sucking him into her mouth fully._ _ _ _

____He grabbed at her head; fisting her hair in his hand as his hips moved with her; forcing his cock deeper into her mouth; hitting the back of her throat repeatedly. She gagged a few times before adjusting to the feel of the intrusion. Her grip on his thighs tightening; her nose flaring as she tried to pull in as much air as possible._ _ _ _

____He pulled her head away; watching as his cock exited her mouth with an enthusiastic pop. A string of saliva leading from the tip of him to her tongue. She stared up at him greedily; her eyes wide and watery from her ministration; her chest rising and falling rapidly. She grabbed the base of his slippery hardness, quickly sliding her palm up and down again._ _ _ _

____"Do you want it?" he asked gruffly._ _ _ _

____She nodded innocently._ _ _ _

____He found her mouth again with a single thrust; pumping his member into her warmth a few more times before pulling out._ _ _ _

____"Still want it?" he asked again._ _ _ _

____She nodded up at him; her eyes wet and running from his assault._ _ _ _

____"Tell me what you want," he said softly._ _ _ _

____"I want your cock in my mouth," she begged sweetly._ _ _ _

____He pushed past her lips again, this time not so gently; his hold on her hair tight and demanding as he basically fucked into her mouth a few times. He pulled and pushed her head back and forth over him; his groans loud and heavy as he struggled to control himself. He pulled all the way out once more; finally releasing the hold he had on the back of her brunette hair._ _ _ _

____She stood up suddenly and he watched her; watched the way she headed for the piano, pulling her pajama bottoms and underwear down in one swift movement, exposing a round, firm buttocks. She leaned over, bracing on the piano, banging clumsily against the keys as she waited for him to do what needed to be done. No words came from her. No orders. No demands._ _ _ _

____He stood behind her quickly, pulling his pants and boxers down fully; taking his position; lining up his cock with her entrance before slipping inside her heat._ _ _ _

____"Fuck! Kit," she gasped at his urgency._ _ _ _

____She was already so wet; sopping and needy for him. He grabbed at her bare hips as pounded into her. Her hands pressing into the keys, creating unceremonial sounds from their ecstasy. She reached over her shoulder, grabbing at the back of his head; bridging the space between them; bringing him deeper into her welcoming cunt. Her back pressed into his front; their bodies colliding crudely causing slapping sounds to fill the space._ _ _ _

____Harsh, rough groans and moans left him and brushed against the shell of her ear; his breath hot and wet up against her skin with every thrust he administered._ _ _ _

____She released him as his speed became intense and erratic. Her back arched as she lowered her head; her upper body sagging against the grand instrument; the coiling feeling in her stomach beginning to take over as the head of him hit her sweet spot repeatedly._ _ _ _

____"Oh god," she whimpered._ _ _ _

____"What's that?" he asked mischievously; his breath coming in heavy and shallow._ _ _ _

____"Kit..." she muttered._ _ _ _

____He made a point of pounding her even harder when she moaned in that begging tone; one hand reaching up under her shirt and gripped at her aching breast; her nipple hard and taut, eager for his touch. His hard cock continued to slip in and out of her beautifully causing him to stare down at where they were joined._ _ _ _

____"Your pussy's so wet. Are you going to cum?" he asked huskily; his fingers pinching at her nipple as she began to answer._ _ _ _

____She squealed and nodded soundlessly; her mouth falling open in a round 'O' as he pummeled her quivering core._ _ _ _

____"Don't fucking stop," she groaned; pushing back into him; their lower halves colliding rough and hard._ _ _ _

____He grabbed her hair; pulling her head back as soon as he felt the walls of her beginning to clench around him, all the while his thumb and index finger twisted and plucked at her nipple._ _ _ _

____"Oh fuck Kit, don't stop," she howled; her voice pitching up higher than usual as she dived into a blinding orgasm. Her body began to shake. Her hands clutched at the edge of the piano as strings of expletives left her hoarse, constricted throat._ _ _ _

____Kit continued to grip at her hair as she came; his stomach tight and fluttering with his own release._ _ _ _

____He pumped his throbbing cock into her as she came down from her high; his fist loosening from her hair and running down to the small of her back. He heard her as she heaved and gasped, trying her best to catch her breath with each stroke he managed._ _ _ _

____She felt when he pulled out; felt when his moist shaft fell on her butt cheek and started squirting his load onto her skin. His hands falling next to hers on the piano; his body covering her as he groaned and moaned her name into the crook of her neck._ _ _ _

____When he was finally spent, he grabbed at her hips suddenly; spinning her around; hoisting her up on the piano keys and spreading her legs wide._ _ _ _

____His fingers gripped her knees tightly, forcing them apart as his head disappeared between her legs._ _ _ _

____She screamed when his entire mouth covered her sensitive clit; her legs shaking and trembling from the over stimulating feeling he gave her and gave her and continued to give to her. She was begging for him to stop; pleading for him to go easy on her. She tried to pull away from him but the hold on her legs only tightened. His tongue fucking her gloriously; swiping through her folds, wrapping around her tender clit and dipping into her drenched opening._ _ _ _

____Her fingers found his curls as she came and came and came again; screaming and wailing into the morning light._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____It was hours later before she woke up. She turned into the crook of his arm; her head resting on his shoulder; her face pressed into his neck. She smelled the subtle fragrance of his cologne mixed with a hint of sweat before her eyes slowly opened. They'd fallen asleep together on the couch in the study; a blanket covering their half-naked bodies as they cuddled into each other._ _ _ _

____He moaned as he felt her stir; his own eyes flying open to check on where they ended up._ _ _ _

____"What time is it?" he groaned as she sat up in front of him; her legs swinging to rest on the carpeted floor._ _ _ _

____"I don't know. I'm trying to avoid my phone as much as possible. Dave's orders," she added._ _ _ _

____He laughed at that; sitting up behind her to sweep her hair to the side so he could kiss the back of her neck. "Is it that bad?" he whispered._ _ _ _

____She got up to fetch her phone before returning and handing it to him. "See for yourself."_ _ _ _

____He slid the device open before tapping the notifications for Instagram that popped up. It brought him straight to the app; straight to the horrifying comments that bled from her pictures, each one just as disturbing and provoking as the one before it._ _ _ _

____His eyes were burning with anger as he skimmed through the words. His jaw clenching till it got too painful to ignore. "This isn't you, Em. They know nothing about who you are," he said through gritted teeth. "Ignore them."_ _ _ _

____"I tried. I really did but a stupid reporter showed up at my door this morning."_ _ _ _

____"What?" his head snapping up; his eyes terrifying and wild._ _ _ _

____"Yeah. I opened the door to see what he wanted and he started taking pictures and shouting questions at me. I slammed the door so hard, I swore I broke it," she finished in a shaky voice._ _ _ _

____"What the fuck? Did you get a good look at him?!" He sprung to his feet, pacing the room madly._ _ _ _

____"Kit, calm down. I'm fine. I just came in and kinda took it out on my bottle of whiskey," she chuckled as she pointed at the shards of glass in the corner of the room. "I threw it against the wall. I was so mad I..." she trailed off._ _ _ _

____"I know," he said; grabbing her and pulling her into his arms tightly; securely. "I'm sorry I wasn't here," kissing the top of her head._ _ _ _

____He should have been here. He should have been here when she needed him; when that crazy son of a bitch showed up on her doorstep. It could have been worse. He could have gotten into the house. He could have hurt her._ _ _ _

____He tried not to think about that. He was here now and he wasn't about to let anyone hurt her. He'd be here going forward. He'd always be here._ _ _ _

____He pulled away from her; holding her by the shoulders, "We're going out," he said abruptly._ _ _ _

____"What?"_ _ _ _

____"We're going to the pub. Go get ready. I'm getting you out of the house."_ _ _ _

____"In public?"_ _ _ _

____"Yes."_ _ _ _

____"Kit, I don't think that's a good idea. Dave said..."_ _ _ _

____"Dave said. Dave said. Look, I'm not letting these idiots dictate how we live our lives okay? Go get ready. We're going _out_. You need something to take your mind off things," he finished; kissing the top of her head again and pulling her out of the room with him._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____They arrived at the pub an hour later. The afternoon rush starting to settle in now. The dusky light shadowing the booming pub; scores of patrons sat idly inside, some around the bar table, others at their own as they drank and chatted loudly above the soft music._ _ _ _

____They exited the car, walking towards the pub together; cautiously scanning the parking lot and surrounding areas for any paparazzi or reporters._ _ _ _

____Emilia pulled her hat further down into her face; her eyes barely visible under the hood._ _ _ _

____Kit adjusted the shades he wore; his hair pulled back into a ponytail, away from his face._ _ _ _

____He put on a plain black V-neck shirt tonight along with his denim pants and boots. She on the other hand wore her oversized army green sweater with her white long skirt and boots. He knew they'd still get recognized as soon as they entered the pub but for now, it didn't hurt to be careful; it didn’t hurt to try and blend in with the regular patrons._ _ _ _

____Kit opened the door for her and as they walked inside a few heads turned and stilled. Eyes stared and lingered. Mouths moved and whispered. They were recognized._ _ _ _

____Soft voices and murmurs followed shortly after but faded into the subtle music that filled the air. They took their seats in a booth to the back; Katy running over to them as soon as they did; her eyes excited and shocked when she got to them._ _ _ _

____"Hey guys! I haven't seen you in a while..." she trailed off; her tone insinuating at the incident that happened a few weeks prior. "Are you okay?" she directed towards her brunette friend._ _ _ _

____"I've had better days," she mumbled; looking around at the eyes that still continued to linger on them._ _ _ _

____Katy glanced to where she stared; saw the way patrons sneaked looks at them. Probably thinking of all the rumors and gossip that's been circulating lately. "Ignore em," she whispered. “It’s not worth it. You’re here to drink and have a good time with Kit, do _that_.”_ _ _ _

____"I've been telling her," Kit chimed in; his eyes never leaving his drink menu. He called the waitress over; ordering fries, chips and a few rounds of beers as Emilia spoke to her friend._ _ _ _

____"Hey, sorry I'm late," came a voice from behind Katy._ _ _ _

____The auburn haired woman spun around; her long locks whirling around her as she turned. "Hey sweetie," she said as a tall man leaned over to place a kiss on her cheek; their eyes lingered on each other for a little before she turned to the others._ _ _ _

____She continued to lean on the back of the booth when she said, "Everyone this is Jared. Jared this is my good friend Emilia and her... _friend_ Kit."_ _ _ _

____The rough looking man waved over at the brunette and bent forward to shake Kit's hand. "Nice to meet you both," he said as he greeted each of them._ _ _ _

____"Do you guys want to join us?" Emilia asked._ _ _ _

____"No, come on Emilia. We couldn't impose," Katy began._ _ _ _

____"It's no imposition, you'd actually be doing this one a favor," Kit commented, pointing a thumb in Emilia's direction._ _ _ _

____The brunette nudged him playfully, "I saw that."_ _ _ _

____"What? You need people. You need to forget about _things_ ," he said with a huge smile._ _ _ _

____Katy looked over at Jared and he shrugged; letting her know he was fine with it if she was._ _ _ _

____"Okay. Well I guess we're imposing," she said as the pair slid into the booth next to them._ _ _ _

____"Oh and Kit, I heard you ordering Irish Red Ale. Just letting you know, we only drink Fuller’s London Porter at this table," the auburn haired woman commented._ _ _ _

____The others erupted in laughter._ _ _ _

____"I knew it!" Emilia added. "I was wondering how you didn't say anything when he ordered them," she laughed._ _ _ _

____"I'm just saying. Irish Red is disgusting. It should never be consumed," Katy said with a slight shrug._ _ _ _

____"It's not bad. I like it," Kit defended._ _ _ _

____"Honey, shh! Don't let anyone hear you say that," Emilia uttered; placing a finger over his lips._ _ _ _

____Katy and Jared laughed at that. The comfort and ease building and settling around them; Emilia slowly forgetting about everything else around her. The curious onlookers that sat close by slowly fading out and the table they sat at becoming the only thing that had her focus._ _ _ _

____They stayed like that for a few hours. Patrons coming and going; hours passing as they shared their beers and fries together. Emilia pressed into Kit's side as his hand rested on the top of the booth, giving her better access to get as close as possible. They sat there, two couples clearly in love; clearly enthralled by each other as they laughed and joked around, causing several disruptions and outburst that neither of them cared about._ _ _ _

____It wasn't until Kit noticed a woman in the corner closer to the door snapping pictures of them._ _ _ _

____He stared at her, though she tried to conceal the fact that she was doing anything at all._ _ _ _

____Emilia noticed his silence and followed his eyes. She saw how the woman pretended as if she hadn't taken a particular interest in them; continuing to engage another woman that sat next to her in mindless, idle chatter._ _ _ _

____"Is everything okay?" Katy asked._ _ _ _

____"Yeah. It's getting late though. We should probably go," he announced as he glanced at his watch. It was well after 11 in the night; they'd had their fill of the place; had their fill of laughter and distractions. It was a good time to head out._ _ _ _

____They paid their tab and started gathering their things when the bartender came over._ _ _ _

____"Alright, so we have an issue," he started. "There's some men outside with cameras. Do you want me to call the police Ms. Clarke?"_ _ _ _

____Emilia looked over at Kit worriedly; her eyes wide and frightened. Her heart sped up and the panic was slowly rising up around her._ _ _ _

____"How many?" Kit asked._ _ _ _

____"About 8 or so," the burly man affirmed._ _ _ _

____"No, that's alright. Thanks," Kit finished._ _ _ _

____Emilia reached for his hand; squeezing it slightly. "You'll be okay. I'm here," he added as he looked down at the terrified woman._ _ _ _

____Katy looked at the pair, "We're coming with you," she assured. "You'll be fine." She looped her hand through Jared's arm before the four of them made their way out._ _ _ _

____Kit noticed how the woman's grip tightened on his hand as they got closer to the door; the way she pulled her hat further into her face as they neared the exit. She was nervous; nervous and frightened of how this might play out. She’d already been attacked twice, he would be damned if he allowed it to happen again while he was there._ _ _ _

____The door pushed open and rounds of their names followed accompanied by brightly flashing lights. Kit walked in front, his shades securely on his face once again as he remained joined to the woman behind him; their hands holding and their pace in sync. Emilia kept her head lowered as they made their way through the swarm of blaring men. Katy and Jared followed closely behind; her arm still linked with him as they walked briskly to the parking lot._ _ _ _

____"Kit! Kit! Are you no longer with Rose?" one shouted._ _ _ _

____"Emilia, are you guys dating now?" another asked._ _ _ _

____"How does Rose feel about your relationship? Are you still friends?" and another._ _ _ _

____"Is this date night?" and another._ _ _ _

____They hurriedly made their way over to the car; Kit opening the passenger door to let her inside and then running around to make his way into the driver's seat. Emilia watched though the windshield as Katy and Jared got settled into their own vehicle; the pair looking over at them once they were inside._ _ _ _

____The camera men surrounded the car; their bodies almost colliding with it as they chased and enclosed them; their voices and bright lights bouncing off the closed windows; their persistent attitude only pissing Emilia off. Kit pulled away; speeding out from the parking lot hastily, leaving them with nothing._ _ _ _

____They wanted answers; answers and any bit of information that they could sell; as if the pictures weren't enough._ _ _ _

____Emilia immediately called Katy; her forehead creased with worry lines and her eyes wide and startled. "Are you guys okay?" she paused momentarily to listen; her body physically looking relieved with the answer. "That's good. Okay. I'll message you when we get home. Thanks again," she finished._ _ _ _

____"Is everything alright?" Kit asked as he drove; he stole a quick glance at her; waiting for her response._ _ _ _

____"Yeah. They made it out okay," she said; her voice trailing off. "God Kit, I was so scared," she confessed quietly._ _ _ _

____He reached for her hand; lacing their fingers together before bringing it to his lips to place a tender kiss on the back, "I know. It's over now. We're going home," he said reassuringly._ _ _ _

____He noticed the way her hands slightly trembled in his; how she felt tensed and shaken by the ordeal._ _ _ _

____She smiled over at him; a lopsided smile that looked watery and pure. He threw a smile her way as his other hand continued to grip the steering wheel but his gaze could only stay on her for seconds at a time before returning to the road._ _ _ _

____She switched the radio on; playing soothing sounds as she continued to hold his hand in hers; her body coming down from its flight mode; slowly feeling calm and relaxed as he drove them back to her house._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Emilia didn’t understand why she was nervous as they pulled into her driveway. Maybe because she was half expecting more camera men when they got home and thanked the heavens when she found the stillness and not much else in the air._ _ _ _

_____When did their lives become this chaotic? When did things change this much?_ _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____The following morning she woke up to a blaring Dave; a severely pissed off and upset Dave. She deserved it; they both did and she had to endure the shouts and screams that came from the phone at 8:30 in the morning. Her head still groggy and fuzzy from the night before._ _ _ _

____"What the hell Emilia?"_ _ _ _

____"Dave," she began._ _ _ _

____"I asked for two days! Two days and I wake up to photos and videos of you and Kit leaving a pub together?!"_ _ _ _

____"Dave?" she tried again._ _ _ _

____"In public? What the hell?"_ _ _ _

____"I know you're upset and you have every right to be okay? But just give me a chance to explain."_ _ _ _

____"You don't need to. There are several photos of you guys holding hands, leaving the pub last night. Fan video shots of the event; you were surrounded by cameras Emilia, what did you think was going to happen?" he asked._ _ _ _

____"I don't know,” she sighed._ _ _ _

____His sigh mirrored hers, "Are you okay?"_ _ _ _

____"Yeah we got out okay. It was frightening but I’m glad it’s over."_ _ _ _

____"You need to listen to me, do you understand? I was hired to help you, to make your life easier but I can't do that unless you listen to what I say. I gave you specific instructions and now you've brought Kit into it and you've managed to let it be known that you guys are dating. Don’t you trust me Emilia?" Dave asked; his voice quivering with frustration._ _ _ _

____"I do, with my life," Emilia confessed._ _ _ _

____"Haven't I always come through for you?"_ _ _ _

____"You have Dave. I'm sorry."_ _ _ _

____"Please listen to me next time. Don't make my job any harder. Don’t make your life any more complex. I’m afraid for you."_ _ _ _

____"Fair enough," she sighed. "So what do we do now?"_ _ _ _

____" _We_ don't do anything. _You_ need to lay low for right now. I've got a lead on who has been leaking information. It’s a woman here in London. I’m waiting for my contact to send over her name. I'll get back to you later on what it is and what the new plan will be," he finished._ _ _ _

____“Dave?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes?”_ _ _ _

____“Thank you,” she said softly._ _ _ _

____“No need. What would you do without me?” he laughed._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Rose sat on the porch of her best friend's two story home; her legs tucked beneath her as the swing rocked back and forth. The early afternoon sun shining around her; cascading streams of light peeking at her through the numerous trees and high shrubbery that decorated the front yard. The breeze was cool and chilly, nearly cold enough to bring on a shiver._ _ _ _

____She clung to her sweater as she scrolled through the Yahoo! articles quickly before checking her mail on her tablet. It was a habit for her and this time something felt like it was nudging her in the same direction. She swiped through; glancing at the headlines, seeing if anything peaked her interest enough for her to actually read it._ _ _ _

____Her heart stopped and her stomach dropped when her eyes glimpsed a familiar name; a name that once made her heart race and skip a beat. Now, bile rose in her throat as she hovered over the name that appeared on the trending list of celebrities. She wondered if she should tap or not; her mind weighing the possible outcomes and consequences that could come from what she was about to see._ _ _ _

____She opted to betray herself as her finger quickly tapped on the screen; her eyes going wide once she realized that the article was about both Kit and Emilia. The pair were seen leaving a pub last night surrounded by paparazzi; holding hands in a seemingly weak disguise. They had been recognized them and the camera men were loving it._ _ _ _

____She stared at the picture; the anger bubbling again as she swiped to a second one of the couple on what seemed to be a double date with another pair. Emilia nestled up close to Kit's side, staring at him tenderly.  
The tears burned; her gaze refusing to leave the photo as she clutched the device in her hand._ _ _ _

____"I made your favorite, hot chocolate with a dash of cinnamon," Charlene said as she exited the house cheerily. She sat next to her friend; the swing jerking as she got settled. She noticed her friend said nothing but her gaze stayed fixated on the screen. "What's wrong?" the woman asked worriedly._ _ _ _

____"Oh nothing, just photos of the new happy couple," Rose said wryly; turning the screen so her friend could have a look._ _ _ _

____Charlene scoffed as she handed the cup to her friend. "Happy? They look miserable."_ _ _ _

____Rose glanced at the first picture again; noticing the way Emilia clutched at Kit, how fear marked her and how nervous and scared she looked. Kit's face looked frustrated, worried; angry even. Her own anger had blinded her. "You're right. They do look miserable."_ _ _ _

____"Yup. That's why I did it," Charlene mumbled._ _ _ _

____"What? What did you do?"_ _ _ _

____"Well, I have friends everywhere. I made a few calls, got in contact with a few media houses, tabloids and interviewers and it just kind of happened from there," she confessed. "You look cold, I'm going to get us a blanket," she said casually as she disappeared into the house, leaving the redheaded woman speechless and stunned._ _ _ _


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience where my updates are concerned. I've been really busy with work and by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is write because of how tired I am. I'll try to update as soon as possible but I can't make any promises as to when that will be. Again, lots of love and gratitude for your understanding and patience. Thanks again for all the comments and kudos - your continued support really does motivate me to keep writing <3
> 
> With that said, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'll try to update next week with the new chapter but I will keep you posted xoxo
> 
> P.S. for reference to the picture I used for Kit's Kitchen and bedroom here are some links to give you a better visual as you read (I think they might actually be rooms from his house in Suffolk) lol
> 
> Bedroom - Picture 2: http://www.irishmirror.ie/showbiz/celebrity-news/gallery/kit-harington-new-suffolk-home-10834720
> 
> Kitchen - Picture 12: http://www.irishmirror.ie/showbiz/celebrity-news/gallery/kit-harington-new-suffolk-home-10834720

Rose sat there; completely immobilized by what her best friend just confessed. Her body was wracked with the fear of what this all meant, not only for her but for Kit and Emilia too. If word got out that someone close to her had done this, fingers would be pointed; names would be called. It would be a complete and total disaster; a complete and total shit show.

She couldn't imagine what Kit and Emilia were going through and even though they weren't her favorite people right now, she knew how horrible and toxic the media attention could be, especially when it was because of something sordid and scandalous. 

It would create waves of poison and strain; a deadly all consuming tornado of stress and misery that she wouldn't even wish on her worst enemies.

She pulled her legs from beneath her; the soles of her feet barely brushing the wooden porch floor. The swing jerked and rocked unsteadily as she sat up straight; her body swaying with the sudden movements. She gripped the edge of the wooden contraption as she considered going inside after her friend. She thought about confronting her about what she had done but saw no good coming from any of it. It was a conversation that needed to happen, that much she knew. It was something she needed to know in its entirety so she could do some damage control and fix things before it blew up in her face.

She was about to ease herself from the porch swing when the slender blonde woman came sauntering from the house; a plush blue blanket in hand as she took her seat again and settled it over them both.

Rose's eyes bore into the unaffected woman as she sipped her chocolate tea. She had long forgotten about her own cup that sat discarded on the wooden railing next to her.

Charlene felt the glowering gaze of her friend as it burned holes into the side of her. She turned to look at the redhead and noticed how her face was pale and horrified. She glanced over at the mug sitting idly on the wooden railing of the porch and knew something was not right. "What is it?" she asked blankly, her mind never giving a thought to the fact that her confession had sent the other woman reeling.

"What do you mean it happened from there? What did you do Char? Did you leak information to the tabloids about _this_?" Rose asked, pointing to the tablet in her lap. Her voice began to tremble and shake as she spoke; her tone hitting a note that wasn't very friendly.

"Yes. I did it. What's the big deal?" Charlene asked, completely baffled; her mug of hot chocolate stopping just inches of her lips.

"What's the big deal? Charlene, why would you do something like that?" Rose asked in her thick Scottish accent.

"What do you mean? They deserved it! They _hurt_ you! They made a _fool_ out of you. Do you remember? They lied to you, Rose! They hid things from you! Kit cheated on YOU! They thought they were going to ride off into the sunset together. We had to show them..!"

" _We_? No Charlene, there is no we here. _You_ did this on your own! Behind my back! Without my knowledge or my permission! Why are you trying to include me _now_? I didn't even know what was happening!" Rose's temper was soaring; her face becoming warm and fire engine red from her blood boiling to immeasurable points.

Panic began consuming her as realization dawned that Kit and Emilia were probably going to think she had something to do with this; that she had plotted and schemed her revenge in the worst way imaginable. They would think that she had partnered up with Charlene to expose their lies and deception, and while it would have been something they'd deserve, she was not one for _that_ type of revenge. At this point in her life, all she wanted to do was move on and heal from the hurt they'd caused her. This drama would only hinder that; it would only leave a messy trail that led straight to her and that was something she had no energy to handle. She needed to fix this and she needed to act fast before another tabloid got word and leaked that she was behind the sudden attention that the couple was getting; that she was playing the part of the bitter, hateful ex girlfriend.

"I need to get to Kit. I need to speak to him," she whispered to herself as she sprang to feet; leaving the swing to sway shakily with her friend.

"What are you talking about?! Have you lost your bloody mind?! Why are you defending them?! Why are you trying to help them? This is what they get for treating you the way they did!" Charlene jolted after her as the woman neared the door; the blanket falling clumsily and pooling at her feet.

"Are you hearing yourself? I don't want to be in the middle of this Charlene! Did you even _think_ about how this would look? How this would affect me? You called the tabloids and you leaked all this information, if anyone found out that you were my best friend, my name would be all over the news. That we teamed up and did this. I don't want that type of attention! I don't need it and I _don't_ want it! I don't want to be in the spotlight okay? I can't..." she trailed off as the emotions took her over; her voice shaky and wet.

Charlene stared at her blankly. "I don't understand why you're being so nice to them."

Rose ran a hand through her hair as her chest heaved; releasing an exasperated sigh of frustration and tension. "Look, I know you were just trying to protect me but you're going about it the wrong way. I don't want to be dragged into the middle of what's going on right now. I want to move on with my life. You just need to stay out of this, okay? Let me handle them," her Scottish accent thick and heavy with tears.

She spun on her heels, disappearing into the house, leaving her best friend standing on the porch with her cup of hot chocolate.

 

Emilia had slept at Kit's house that night. The fear and realization that these tabloid vultures knew where she lived, settled on her greatly and Kit wasn't about to leave her alone again either. She was rattled and rightfully so, her security and peace of mind had been breached and she needed to step away from it for a little while to gather herself. He wanted to provide that haven for her and he vowed to protect her but there was only so much he could do if they had popped up at her door again. He wasn't about to risk another episode like what happened at the pub and so he brought her straight to his home without a second thought.

The following morning, the ancient mullioned window cast a checkered brilliance of sunlight onto the white carpeted floor. The rays of brightness threw reflective squares onto several objects in the room which decorated its otherwise simplistic theme allowing small dust particles to dance flutteringly through the brightness. As the dawn gave way to the early glow, a warm ball of light filtered through her thin eyelids, kissing her awake as she slept. She blinked a few times in an attempt to help her eyes adjust to the illumination directed right at her defenseless figure. Sensing another presence there with her, she stirred and groaned mildly. She opened her eyes slowly, drowsily and lopped sided she smiled. Her eyes coming to focus on the face of the man who stared down at her; his head propped up on his arm; his elbow disappearing into the pillow.

"Good morning sleepy head," he croaked softly; a mesmerizing smile shining over her.

"Good morning," she replied; her voice barely above a whisper but rough as sandpaper against gravel. Her body stiffened under the white plush comforter; her face tense and orgasmic as a lazy stretch took her over, "What time is it?"

"Pretty early," he turned his head slightly to look at the clock on the side table behind him. "Just a little after 7," he inferred.

Blue green eyes lit up a bit; a twinkle setting into the center of her pupil. "Good, we can stay in bed a little longer," eyelids drifting shut for a little while.

Kit chuckled at that. He used his free hand to brush away tresses of brunette locks from her face, watching as her smile spread and she sighed in total contentment. He loved her face in the morning; her eyes heavy and dreamy; her lips swollen, plump and so crimson. He'd stare at it every morning until his very last day, etching every detail into the corners of his mind; painting his memories with it for as long as he drew breath. Her skin was his favorite, the way she felt warm and extremely soft to the touch. It was no question why most mornings after straying from her during sleep, he'd wake up craving her feel; wanting her closeness and would end up pulling her into his arms securely, reveling in the sweetness her body offered.

"What do you have to do today?" she asked sleepily; her eyes still closed.

"I have to be on set for my show," he whispered against her neck as he lowered his head into its crook; trying to get her to wake up fully.

"Stop," she giggled as she tried to roll away from his assault.

Kit pulled his face away, his head up on his arm again so he could watch her. His eyes were soft and tender; his lips upturned in a captivating smile that she loved so much.

She looked up at him; her body still hidden by the comforter that engulfed her. The smile he had, reflected on her own face. He was so beautiful and it wasn't a beauty that came from the physical attributes of him but a beauty that came with the way he loved; the way he had loved her for years. The kindness. The soulfulness. The all consuming world wind of emotions you felt when he looked at you that made you want to bare your soul to him; that made you settle comfortably in his presence and just be; that made you throw your head back and laugh until your throat was hoarse and raw.

She came up on her own elbows very suddenly, capturing his lips in a brisk kiss. A kiss that took his breath straight from his lungs and made his head spin.

And just like that she was gone from him again; her body back under the bedspread but this time she brought it up to cover half her face as she stared at him innocently; her eyes wide and glossy with mischief. There was a spark there; a spark that told him she had a grin below those covers and he laughed at her feeble but adorable attempt to hide that from him.

"You are _the_ most adorable burrito I've ever seen," he confessed sweetly.

She fought a blush that crept up her cheeks; trying her best to hide the effects his simple words had on her but it was pointless.

"I wish everyday could be as easy as this. I wish we could stay right here in your bed and ignore all the shit that's happening out there," she said as she pulled the fabric away from her face; settling it across her stomach.

"Let's not ruin the morning with talk of the outside world," he joked. "Let's just enjoy this for as long as we can. Deal?"

"Deal."

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She was bent over shuffling around in his refrigerator; her upper half completely hidden from him as she tried to figure out what they were going to have for breakfast.

He's sitting at the dining table; his face marred with sleep but he watched her still; watched as she shifted from one leg to the next; watched as her arms stretched and outstretched indecisively.

"How do you feel about leftover pizza?" she asked from inside the cool encasement; her voice sounding much further than it actually was.

She was met with a hanging silence; a silence that she didn't quite understand. She wondered if he had left her in the kitchen or if he had simply fallen asleep at the table. She withdrew from the appliance quickly; the cool air brushing against her morning skin; waking up small goose bumps in its path.

She pulled her head into the room with him as her eyes sought the reason for his silence; one arm still resting at the top of the fridge door.

Her eyes connected with a smiling Kit and from the obvious daydreaming look on his face, she could tell he hadn't heard a word she said to him. "Um, hello?" she chimed with a wave of her other hand.

His eyes blinked rapidly; his mind coming to the present with a slight nod. "Yes. Yes. I agree," he rushed.

"You haven't heard a single word I've said have you?" she countered.

His head hung slightly with a wide smile as he acknowledged that he hadn't. He lifted his gaze to meet hers again. "I'm sorry. You're walking around in my t-shirt and it's honestly the sexiest fucking thing I've seen in a _very_ longtime," his voice dripping with so much silk and darkness that it came out almost like a moan.

Emilia blushed before looking down at the grey t-shirt, her fingers pinching at the material as she pulled it away from her frame to have a better look. "I can't believe you have a Jurassic Park shirt. How old are you?" she teased, before her head disappeared into the cool air of the refrigerator once more.

"Hey!" he pointed at her dramatically. "Spielberg is one of the greatest directors of our time! We're lucky to have him!"

"Okay. Fine. Spielberg's great," she feigned defeat. "I was asking you before, how you felt about leftover pizza for breakfast?"

"That's the one from last night?" he asked excitedly.

"Mhmm," she nodded enchantingly; her mouth nearly watering with the memories of their pizza run after the pub incident.

"That was some good fucking pizza," he added with confidence.

She pulled the box from the fridge and danced happily over to the microwave; the t-shirt swirling around her and hiking up occasionally over her exposed thighs. "What was the name of it again?"

"Stonehouse or something like that," he answered apprehensively.

"You've never been there before?"

"No. I've always past but never stopped. I've been meaning to test them out and I'm so glad I finally got the chance to. If you hadn't noticed their 'we're open' sign, I would have driven right by again."

"Well thank god for me," she said as she walked over to where he sat; a slice hanging from her hand and a plate with 4 other slices piled onto each other.

One leg draped over his thighs as she settled on his lap; straddling him comfortably; her palm bracing against his bare chest. She skated the plate across the wooden table behind her as his arms slid around her waist; pulling her into him. She took a bite of the slice before teasing his lips with the greasy goodness; urging him to open up.

"Thank god for you indeed," he said as his mouth stretched into a wide grin; his head dipping to bite into the sagging dough of the pizza she fed him. He moaned enthusiastically as he chewed; his eyes rolling back into his head and then closing involuntarily as he savored the taste.

"Right?!" Emilia emphasized.

His eyes flew open as he felt her tracing a warm, wet tongue along his bottom lip and groaning out loud.

She lifted her head and stared at him wide eyed as if being caught doing something she shouldn't have done, "You had some sauce on you," she exclaimed softly before offering him another bite of the pizza.

He bit into it again, his eyes never breaking contact with hers. His gaze darkened; lust sparking between them and flowing to places below. He wondered if she felt it, wondered if she would notice the obvious effect she had on him. There was not much separating her core from his now protruding member; nothing but his grey sweat pants and her thin layer of underwear.

She must have noticed because just then her eyes dropped, stealing a quick glance at his lap before taking a bite and clearing her throat, "I'm going to see Dave Washington today," she said abruptly.

It was a sudden change in subject that he wasn't expecting but went along with it any way.

"I should come with you," he added.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"It makes sense, doesn't it? This does involve me," his breath hitched as he felt a familiar warmth between her legs and his hips slightly jerked at the feel. His gaze becoming a bit more intense before he continued, "You're going to have to tell me what he says anyway so might as well get it first hand right?"

She bit into the pizza before feeding him the final slice. She threw the crust into the plate behind her and wrapped her arms casually around his neck. "Fine, you can come," she added.

"Speaking of coming," he wiggled his eyebrows.

She laughed, ducking her head and wrapping her arms tighter around his neck while her fingers combed through his luscious curls. She buried them in his thickness; her fingertips lightly massaging his scalp as she spoke, "What about it?" she asked innocently.

His pink tongue darted out to wet his lips before he responded; his hands adjusting her on his lap, pulling her into him so she could have a better feel of his growing bulge. He wanted her to feel him, wanted her to get a clear picture without words and when she did, she gasped. Her eyes closing momentarily as her clit brushed up against him. A very soft moan slipping from her throat, making her quickly grip her bottom lip with her teeth in an effort to suppress any further betrayal. "We have to start getting ready," she managed as a swirling whirlpool of lust settled in between her thighs.

"Just a quick one," he pleaded; his head lowering to nip a line of small kiss along her jaw. Her head fell back and her eyes shut tight as soft lips trailed to the side of her neck; the stubble of his low beard rubbing against her skin roughly but pleasurably.

Her fingers tangled tightly in his hair, as his lips made her core needier against the feel of his solid manhood.

"Fuck it," she breathed as she pulled herself together quickly. Determined eyes locked onto his when her legs met the floor. She came to stand next to him; her thumbs hooking into the waistband of her underwear, allowing them to slide down taut, smooth legs. Immediately he caught on to her plan and hurriedly lifted his hips to push his grey sweatpants to the space just above his knee; his rock hard cock bobbing to life freely and slapping against his lower abdomen with a solid thud.

He took her hand, guiding her back to his lap as she settled across hairy thighs. Her eyes never once breaking the heated contact with his. 

"Make it quick," she announced breathlessly.

"Is that a challenge?" he asked as she lifted herself on tiptoes, positioning her body above him.

He gripped at the base of his cock, aligning his sensitive head with her seeping entrance.

"You know that it is," she said with a smirk that quickly faded as he pulled her down roughly onto his member; his head slipping in first and then his entire cock filling her completely and deliciously.

They both groaned in unison, their foreheads coming together as they tried to catch their breaths at the intense feelings that their intimate connection brought. She was already so wet and her walls oh so tight. He didn't know how long he'd last this time around; he had wanted her since they had awoken together and now that he had her, it all felt like too much.

Kit wasted no time in grabbing hold of Emilia's hips through the t-shirt she wore as he began rocking her back and forth over him. It started out as a steady movement at first but soon picked up in speed and roughness as he slid her body along his lap uncaringly. Her hands draped around his neck and gripped tightly at the back of the chair. Her head falling to rest in the crook of his neck; her moans and whimpers coming out louder and louder with each encouraged thrust. He could feel her heated breath brush against the sensitive skin of his throat and a slight tremor ran through him.

His hands left her waist and made their way to her ass, gripping and squeezing at each perfect cheek as he pulled her into him harder and harder, over and over again. Every time he drew her in, his hips would jolt and jerk forward to meet her causing slapping sounds to fill the room along with their heavy breathing and guttural grunts and moans. Her loud moans soon turned into wailing and begging when her exposed, swollen clit continued to make sweet, teasing contact with his pelvic area bringing forth a series of _yes_ and _please_ from her.

The slow build up from the continuous contact caused her to lose the little grip on reality that kept her grounded as her hips began moving on its own. His hands merely resting on her as she gyrated and grinded back and forth on his shaft; her core gripping and sliding over him as she chased her release. The chaotic, erratic motions causing the wooden chair to creak and scrape along the tiled floor of the kitchen. He gripped at the table behind her; steadying himself as he continued to move against her.

There was an unmistakable wetness that started to seep from her; it made its way onto Kit's thighs and he groaned out loud as he felt it.

One hand left her hip and gently tugged at her hair causing her to remove her face from his neck. When his gaze met hers, he noticed how dazed and hooded her eyes were; how dark and wanton she looked at him and how her pace never let up.

The tightness in his stomach soared and he meshed their lips together desperately with a satisfied groan, allowing her moans to fill his mouth. He pulled away just a few inches; his lips slightly brushing against hers as he spoke, "That's it baby, fuck yourself..."

"God," she groaned loudly.

"You're so fucking wet. You're leaking all over the fucking place," he added hoarse. His other hand coming down hard against the soft flesh of her left butt cheek at the end. 

She gasped and groaned at the burning feeling that sent a jolt straight to her raw clit. "Again," she demanded in a tone that sounded like a soft needy whine.

His palm lifted and smacked her twice as her movement became faster and clumsier. He could tell she was close by the way her grinding felt desperate and graceless so he helped her; two hands now grabbing and slapping her ass while staring up at her wincing face; his eyes dark and intense with desire as he took in the sight of her.

"You're such a dirty little girl. Does slapping your ass make you want to cum on my dick?" he asked huskily.

"Yes! Fuck! That feels so fucking good. Don't fucking stop!" she moaned.

His hands did not stall in their spanking assault and soon enough that was all that filled the room around them, aside from their own needy sounds and connecting bodies.

"Shit babe, I'm going to cum. I'm not going to last much longer," Kit groaned suddenly.

"Cum inside me. You feel so fucking good. Cum inside..." she howled as her release hit her hard. She shut her eyes tightly against the blackness that took her over; hips rising and falling roughly; wetness flowing from her, spraying over his lap. 

She gripped the back of his head roughly, bringing their sweaty foreheads together; her body shaking and quaking over him.

His arms wrapped around her waist as he felt her walls clenching around him and he lost it. His seed spilled from him and painted her insides; her name falling from his lips in a reverent, tone. She felt the warmth of him filling her and she continued to grind and roll her hips in his lap, dragging out their orgasm for as long as she could.

A smile stretched her lips as they came down from their high; her eyes still shut and her chest rising and falling rapidly with each burning breath she took. Sometimes it was hard to believe the effect this man had on her; the way he could make her cum with so much force and power and leave her body in unbridling ecstasy.

She reached for him again; her hand clutching at the back of his neck as she pulled him into a smoldering kiss.

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Emilia found herself on the set of _Gunpowder_ later that afternoon. She wasn't sure if it was a good idea just yet but Kit had convinced her that they'd be safe there; that they'd be out of the way of prying eyes and gossipy stares. She had been nervous when she first walked on the newly decorated set but just having him there made all the difference to her. He'd led her to his high chair, with his name written in white on the back before he turned his attention to the crew. They hadn't started filming as yet; just a few finishing touches to be put in place until that time.

She stared at the back of him; the blue t-shirt he wore, his headphones hanging around his neck and his fitted jeans clinging to his shapely buttocks. He was in his element; the way he stalked around checking on different props and costumes, the way his arms crossed over his chest pensively as he listened to what the other producers and directors had to say. It was a massive turn on for her for sure but there was something else. She was proud of him, immensely and wholeheartedly proud of him.

He had approached her with the idea of doing his own show a few years ago; something he'd been passionate about but never quite finding the time or the mental space to manifest it. She had encouraged him, asked him several times about it, just to add a little motivation to his already existing drive and gave him the telephone numbers of a few connections she had. Now here she was, on the set of what was to be a long awaited dream of his and she was _so_ pleased.

She was so lost in thought that she hadn't seen him approaching her, "You okay?" he chuckled, noticing how far away she was; noticing that she hadn't even acknowledged his presence. 

"I'm fine," she answered as she shuffled to the edge of the seat; her legs swinging lightly and playfully; her lips stretching into a small smile that made him smile at her sweetly.

"Are you sure?"

"I am. I'm just... I'm so proud of you. I mean, look at this," her hand gesturing at the set before her.

A blush covered his cheeks and he glanced down quickly before looking back at her. His palms went to slowly rub up and down her denim clad lap as he stared into wide, excited eyes. "I'm glad it worked out this way. There was a time when I honestly thought it wouldn't," he said with less confidence and more contemplation.

"I'm glad it did. I'm also glad you listened to us and followed through with everything."

"Me too," he added, quickly scanning the area to see if they had the attention of anyone before leaning in to place a quick kiss against the woman's lips.

"What was that for?" she asked quizzically, her eyebrow slightly rose.

"I don't know. I just really love you, you know that right?"

Her eyes lit up brightly before they softened significantly at him, "I know and I love you too, so much," she whispered against his face.

He leaned in to brush his lips against her forehead and she closed her eyes against the soft feel of his mouth on her skin.

He glanced behind him before eyeing her, "I'll be right back," he said as he did a half jog towards the director that just reentered the room.

She watched him leave; watched him tap back into his director mood; glancing around and pointing at different things on set. He threw out instructions and commands to persons he saw working; asking questions and observing the work being done and she smiled to herself. Her heart felt full and fluttering watching him doing what she knew he was always capable of.

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It was a long drive back to Suffolk from Dalton Mills in Keighley, where the set was. A bathroom stop and a food stop later and they had made it back to Kit's town within a four hour span. Emilia had called Dave to let him know that's where they would have their meeting and by the leery tone of voice she received, she knew he had made the connection as to why she was now in Suffolk.

They pulled into the small coffee shop; exiting the vehicle together and heading into the somber atmosphere of the building. A few persons stared but none made the huge display of attention that they were half expecting. Emilia immediately spotted Dave in a back booth, his shades pulled over his gruff bearded face and his eyes trained on his laptop screen. He never looked up until they slid into the seat opposite him; Emilia to the corner and Kit just on the end. Dave stared over at the handsome man intensely before pulling the glasses from his face; his gaze continuing his silent scrutiny.

"Hey," Emilia began before her agent had a chance to comment on Kit's presence.

The stocky man feigned an appalled expression before he responded, "Hey yourself," he threw back. "Why here?" he gestured at the small establishment.

"It's very quaint, not a lot of people come here. I thought it would be a good place to get away from all the attention," Kit interrupted.

"I see," Dave began with a slight nod. "And how are you doing?" he directed to the nervous brunette before him.

"I'm doing better. Much better."

"I can see that," he replied, eyeing the man next to her. "It's good to see you again sir, as always," he said with a tight smile.

"It's good to see you too Dave. How long has it been?" Kit asked with an amused smile.

"It's been quite some time. Honestly, I had no reason for your presence until you decided to take matters into your own hands, taking my client out to places I told her not to go; to ignore my advice and leap into situations that have put you both in the spotlight. I mean I do enjoy looking at your beautiful face Mr. Harington, make no mistake of that but the circumstances under which we have to see each other again are less than favorable. You've somehow managed to create more problems for me and my client even when you're miles away in your little _quaint_ town here," he finished theatrically.

Kit tried to suppress the laughter that threatened to tumble from his lips. He glanced over at the brunette next to him, only to see her eyes urging him to take this seriously but her own face contorted from her own suppression.

"And to top it all off, you find this extremely funny. Am I amusing to you Mr. Harington?"

"No. Not at all," he answered, clearing his throat loudly.

"Then why don't you take me seriously? Why did you disobey my orders and take Ms. Clarke here to the pub on the evening in question?"

"I'm sorry Dave, I just wanted to get her out of the house. I wanted to take her mind off everything that was happening. It was a dumb move and we should have listened to you," he replied apologetically.

Dave's face stared at him; his expression one that was etched with pure mockery. "Well, no shit," he added sarcastically before turning to the brunette. "What did I tell you? I told you he was going to do something stupid and he did didn't he? Which was why I asked you to keep this between us until we had everything sorted out," he finished sternly.

Emilia looked down before sighing quietly, "I know but things just got really overwhelming for me and Kit was just trying to help with that. It was hard Dave, fucking ridiculous is what it was. A reporter showed up at my door the following morning and when Kit found me, I was shaken up by it and everything just kind of came out."

"Wait! What? You didn't tell me about any bloody reporter," his eyes wide and his jaw tight and clenched.

"Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you. A guy showed up at my home and when I opened the door to see who it was, I was met with flashing lights and intrusive god awful questions."

Dave ran his hand over his face, his eyebrows knitted in frustration as his fingers roughly brushed over his mustache and beard. "Emilia, you need to tell me these things as they happen," he gritted out. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you in any way?"

"No. I'm fine. As soon as I realized what was happening, I slammed the door in his stupid face."

"Well, good. I'll find out who that was and have him dealt with. The gall of these damn people," he paused to type a quick message on his phone. "You won't have to worry about that happening again, I promise you," he said as the fist he had clenched on the table, reached out to grasp at Emilia's hand in a comforting display of affection.

"Thank you," Emilia smiled.

"So you're living with Kit now or you're just staying for a little while?" the darker man asked suddenly.

"How?..." Emilia started, eyeing Kit awkwardly before directing her gaze back to her agent.

"I told you, I'm very good at my job and it's not hard to put two and two together. I mean, I had to drive nearly two hours for this meeting, it's quite obvious that you're not in Hampstead and I don't blame you after what happened but what's going on here exactly?"

"I was just staying for a few days. I'll be going home soon. We haven't moved in together," she said shyly.

Dave nodded before a waitress approached the table; the tall brunette woman wearing a smile and a skirt that was way too small for her. 

"Good afternoon, welcome to Benny's Coffee House. Can I get you guys anything?" she asked sweetly.

"Ah, yes. Can I have a venti drip, bold, with no room," Dave requested quickly.

"That's all?" 

"Yes. That'll be all for now. Thanks."

She looked over at the pair while she scribbled in her notepad; her legs shifting below her as she turned her body to face them.

"Yes, I’d like a medium decaf, 3 sugar 2 cream," Emilia said softly.

"And I'll take a bottle of water," Kit added.

"Okay. Coming right up," she said before turning on her heels and walking away.

"She's not so quaint," Dave mumbled under his breath and Emilia raised an eyebrow at him. "Also, I spoke with Chris' boss. That's the guy who did your interview the other day. He apologized for what happened; he had no idea that he was planning to ask those questions. A few minutes before the interview he got some intel, a grimy tip on your situation and instead of getting approval, he basically freelanced and did his own thing," he divulged, giving them a few minutes to process what he had just said. "I also did a little more digging and found out he received a call from a Charlene Durkham. I'm guessing she was the one who gave him what he needed."

Kit's face went pale instantly at the name; his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline and mouth dropping open a bit before a cold, dead laugh escaped it.

Dave noticed and began watching him carefully.

"Do you know her?" Emilia asked.

"He does. It's Rose's best friend, is that right?" Dave replied before Kit even had the chance to reply.

Emilia looked from her agent to Kit. She noticed that Kit's head was lowered and his focus was on the table; his mind trying to process what he had just heard. "Yeah, she was the one who showed Rose that picture of us at the housewarming party."

"Hmm, she's a busy one," Dave added with a bit of disdain in his tone.

Just then, the waitress returned with their beverages; placing them carefully in front of each person before asking again if they needed anything else and strolling away.

"I don't understand," Emilia said with a dry chuckle. "Do you think Rose knew what she was up to?"

"I don't think so. I hope to god that she didn't. I mean, I know we hurt her but I can't see her doing something so vindictive and cruel. She knows how I feel about the media attention and she hates it just as much as I do so... I don't know," he sighed.

"Hurt people, hurt people," Dave mumbled softly. "You need to be careful of those around you."

Emilia looked over at her agent blankly; her mind still reeling from all the drama. She stared off into space as she came to grips with what all this meant. Someone was actually trying to make their lives a living hell and she was doing a damn good job at it.

"She was never in my corner to begin with. She hated me being with Rose and i'm guessing she hates me even more now for hurting her best friend, so..." he trailed off with a shrug. He paused for a minute, his mind working quickly, "I should call Rose."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Emilia asked.

"It's not. I know you find it very difficult to heed my warnings and advice but Kit, please do not call her. Make no contact with her. The damage is already done. Calling her might only do more harm than good at this point. Let me handle Ms. Durkham. For now, just continue to stay low. You can be seen together but you have nothing to say to the media, understand? Not one single word. Let them take their pictures and write their articles but you do not and I repeat, do not engage them in any way. We need as little attention on you guys as possible. Got it?"

They both nodded mutely at the man across from them as he brought his coffee to his lips for a quick sip. "By the way, I need to meet with your agent Mr. Harington. We need to be on the same page. Your interest and what you do is now in direct relation to my client. Are you still subjecting yourself to the mediocre advisory of Mr. Johnson?"

Emilia cleared her throat sharply; her head ducking as she tried to suppress a laugh that was bubbling in her chest.

Kit looked over at the woman next to him before looking back at Dave. "Yes I am, why?" he asked slowly and cautiously.

"Nothing at all. We should all meet like this in a few days. You can tell him and we'll set it up. Let him know, I'd appreciate it if he would be on time for once in his life," Dave ended snidely.

"Okay," Kit said in an awkward, worried tone.

"They used to date," Emilia revealed and that made Kit's head snap around to look over at her.

"If you called that dating," Dave responded with a roll of his eyes.

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After their meeting with Dave, Kit had suggested that she come back to his place to spend a few more days with him. He trusted what Dave had said about her not needing to worry about anyone else coming to her house but it made him feel better knowing she was near. He knew of Dave's work, knew of his connections and the way people would bend at his will so he had no doubt in his mind that he would find out who that reporter was and get him to back off. He was really good at what he did and people knew not to cross him in any way.

The truth was, he didn't want to be away from Emilia. He had gotten used to having her around and he was growing used to having her with him all the time. He hadn't said all that to her but he had a feeling that she knew and she was also getting accustomed to his presence and company as well.

They had endured the two hour drive to her home as she grabbed some more clothes and belongings before turning on her security system and setting out for another 2 hours back to his place.

By the time they got in, it was nearly nine o' clock. He had ordered some food and she was busy in the living room deciding on what they were going to watch while they ate together.

There was a loud knock when Kit called out that the food was there; his legs taking him quickly towards the front of the house. He flung the door open while digging into his pockets for his wallet before his eyes met with blue ones. His movement ceased immediately as he stared at the red headed woman. She nervously stared back at him; her hands tucked deep into the pockets of her black woolen coat; her hair blowing around her in the night breeze.

"Okay, so it's either Ocean's 8 or The Dark Knight," Emilia shouted as she rounded the corner of the front hall. She stopped dead in her tracks as Kit widened the door to let Rose in. Kit lowered his head awkwardly when the two women saw each other.

Rose's mouth fell open slightly; her shock stemming from Emilia's presence, which she wasn't expecting. She pulled her hands from her coat quickly before joining and wringing them restlessly before her. "Oh, i wasn't expecting," she started softly. "I should probably leave," she said as she pointed a thumb over her should, quickly spinning around to make a hasty retreat.

"No, please. Come in," Kit said after her retreating frame; urging her into the house.

She turned to face them slowly before cautiously walking through the entrance and into the brightly lit hallway of the front area. Her steps were careful and calculated as she looked from Kit to Emilia; her body tense and rigid with each movement.

Kit closed the door behind her; his eyes darting to Emilia quickly as they both allowed Rose's presence to wash over them.

"Are you living here now?" Rose directed at Emilia point blankly; her eyes watching the brunette attentively; awaiting her response.

"No, I'm not. I just came over," she said uneasily as the redhead nodded.

There was an uncomfortable silence that began stretching for far too long; one that made everyone silently cringe even though the obvious discomfort could be seen on their faces. Kit cleared his throat abruptly, causing Rose to snap out of whatever thought was engulfing her about the pair; the reason for her visit coming back swiftly.

She turned to face the man behind her as he looked on with knitted brows, "I came to speak to you alone but seeing that you're both here, I guess it makes sense to do this now," she began. "I know you're probably getting a lot of attention from the media right now. I mean, even though your actions would call for it but I know it's more than you were expecting. I wanted to tell you that Charlene has been speaking to different media houses and tabloids. She leaked information without my permission; without my knowledge."

Kit released a slow breath that he had no idea had been held up in his chest. He knew Rose would have never done this to them but he was relieved to actually hear the words from her own mouth.

"I know how it must look but I just wanted you both to know that I had nothing to do with it," she said as she looked from Kit to Emilia quickly. "I didn't want to get dragged into the middle of this but it happened any way," she laughed dryly.

"We're glad to hear that," Emilia said as she carefully approached the redhead before stopping a few feet away. "I know how hard this must have been for you, coming here and everything but..."

"I didn't come here to hear any of that. I just wanted you guys to know what was happening so you could be careful," she sighed. "She told a lot of people, _a lot of people_. So it probably will get worse but at least you know now and you can prepare for it."

A swell of emotions began to roll through Kit and tears started burning at the brink of his eyes as he heard the words; heard the consideration that she offered them; the kindness that they didn't give to her. "This means a lot Rose. Honestly, we probably don't deserve it after everything that we've done to you but we appreciate it, truly we do. We'll try our best to keep you out of it as much as we can, I promise."

"We do really appreciate it and it has been rough to say the least. They've been to my house. They showed up at my door, blaring questions and taking pictures. That's why I'm here; I didn't really feel safe being alone there anymore. They know where I live now so they could show up at anytime so thank you for telling us this."

Rose's eyes widened at the confession; at her opening up about what was happening to her. She was surprised at the blatant disrespectful nature of the paparazzi and there was a quick tug at her heart string. She hated herself for feeling sorry for the woman but just as soon as her eyebrows rose in concern; she caught herself and slapped on her steely, emotionless mask again; a straight, unaffected face.

"Well, I'm sorry that you guys are going through this and I hope it dies down soon enough," Rose said flatly before turning and heading for the door.

Kit reached for her as she walked by; his hand lightly grazing her forearm and she glanced down at the spot.

"Rose, seriously, thank you," he said finally with a lot of emotion and conviction that made her eyes water slightly.

"Well, not because my life was turned upside down by all this doesn't mean that yours should be too and I didn't do it for you really. I did it for myself," she responded dryly as she turned and headed through the door, leaving the pair dumbfounded and speechless at the weight of her words and the finality of her exit.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we finally are with the update that some thought would never happen (myself included) lol 
> 
> I'll be providing some visuals to help paint a more vivid picture for you as you read.
> 
> Pool scene: Image 1 https://www.beaumonde.ge/images/articles/shemodgoma/kit1.jpeg
> 
> Image 2 http://www.themostexpensivehomes.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Game-of-Thrones-star-Kit-Haringtons-Home-6.jpg
> 
> Balcony scene: Image 1 https://i.pinimg.com/564x/75/c4/e5/75c4e5c1556ac36f49ab1e8594fccae6.jpg  
> Image 2 https://i.pinimg.com/564x/1a/77/d7/1a77d77ad2b61366f2b9bfe89d10b98e.jpg  
> Image 3 https://i.pinimg.com/564x/bd/d9/4f/bdd94f9d583e49ec4448e65a673138d4.jpg  
> Image 4 http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/03/04/16/3DF20EB400000578-4281562-image-a-2_1488644659463.jpg
> 
> Enjoy! :) <3

Emilia sat there in the middle of what was supposed to be a productive meeting between their two agents. Her body was frozen and her pulse racing at an unimaginable pace with the unexpected turn things had taken. _Was she supposed to stop them? Should she say something? Would they even listen to her?_ She stared blankly at the well dressed men before her as they struggled to contain their intense dislike and deep muddled feelings for each; hurling bitter insults and biting sarcasm for their opponent to catch.

She glanced over at Kit who sat next to her; his wide eyes protruding from his rigid face as he watched the scene before him. His own gaze shifted to hers in that moment, reflecting a similar level of defeat and helplessness; both unsure of what to do or say. Their gaze eventually left each other and fell to Dave whom was just pushing his chair away from the large table that stood in the middle of the board room.

"I knew this would have been a bloody mistake. I should have known better," the darker man said as he shuffled through several sheets of paper trying to pinpoint the document he needed. "I asked one simple thing of you, be punctual and be prepared and you could not even do that," Dave spat out.

"You're acting as if I put the bloody traffic out there! It was not my fault," Mitchell bit back.

Mitchell Johnson was a handsome man. Emilia could see why Dave had fallen for him when they had just started out. He had a boyish charm to him that suited his god given attributes. His dark raven hair was slicked back over his slender face and he sported a low beard and rounded spectacles against deep blue eyes. In all the years that Kit had known and worked with him, she had never seen him wear anything but formal attire; nothing but suits and button ups like the white one he wore today.

"I apologized, didn't I? What else do you want from me?" Mitchell spat out, his glowering gaze glued to the man next to him.

"Always with the excuses, aren't you?" Dave sighed, his eyes still fixating busily on the papers in his stubby hands.

Emilia cleared her throat loudly then, pulling the two from their petty argument to focus on her.

They both looked up in unison, their eyes wide, intense and glossy from the heated exchange.

She watched the slow reaction, as a blanket of realization washed over them both. Dave's face becoming steely with a hint of guilt as discernment set into his bones.

"I'm sorry Emilia. Please forgive our manners," he said as his body became noticeably relaxed.

"My apologies again for my tardiness and my little outburst earlier," Mitchell added as he slid further into his chair, his hands coming to rest in his lap apprehensively.

The darker man glanced over at him as he spoke, his glare the only evidence of their childish bickering. Emilia could tell he was trying his hardest not to roll his eyes; she could tell his temper was bubbling just below the surface of his composed facade. The tension itself was still palpable; vibrating at a heavy frequency, enough to be felt but not seen by them.

Mitchell placed both hands flat against the surface of the wooden table as he looked over at Kit and Emilia. "I've noticed there isn't an increase with the attention from the media, which is good. With a little bit more time, this should all blow over soon enough and you guys won't have anything to worry about," Mitchell said with a small smile; his blue eyes darting from Kit to Emilia periodically.

"No thanks to you," Dave mumbled under his breath as he pretended to read through a file.

Mitchell's head snapped around with a fierce glare in place. He glowered at the man before turning his attention to the pair. "How are things going with you two?" he asked, a toothy grin etched on his face.

 

"It's going well," Emilia answered shyly; her cheeks heating up at the sudden shift in the conversation. She looked over at Kit who wore a similar expression; his beard hiding most of his own flushed cheeks.

"Yeah, it's definitely going well," he added, flickering his gaze to the woman next to him, a small knowing smirk beaming over at her.

Dave smiled to himself as he watched the couple, noticing the way they looked at each other and the cute little subtle interactions between them. In all his time working for his client, he had never seen her so at ease and completely contented with everything. She was glowing; her eyes sparkled and her energy felt calm and serene, so much so that he couldn't help but be enchanted by their love. He was so caught up in his admiration that he hadn't felt his head drifting to Mitchell. His smile faltered instantly at the realization when his eyes met with that of his ex boyfriend. It was hilarious to watch as his whole demeanor switched back to a steely coat of armor and his face hardened tremendously.

He cleared his throat, shifting his gaze to Emilia and Kit, "As Mr. Johnson said, having the media back off a little is a good sign. Which means that the path that you're on is something to be commended and continued," he said with a reaffirming nod. "You have events coming up together, keep a low profile until then. At the premiere, that's when you make your 'debut' for a better use of the word. You can walk the carpet together and take pictures, give those mongers a little of what they were craving all along," he ended on a small smile.

"And that's completely up to you," Mitchell quickly added. "If you need more time or you just want to keep your relationship private, you can. You don't need to give them anything."

Dave looked over at Mitchell then, his eyes narrowing instinctively.

"I think that was implied," Dave added threw slightly gritted teeth and a tightly clenched jaw.

"Well, it needed to be said out loud," Mitchell countered without looking in his direction; a tight smile in place.

"You're just full of it today, aren't you?" Dave's question full of disdain.

"Why did you even ask me to come here?" Mitchell fired back, his body turning to face the darker man.

"Guys," Kit warned.

"Right, so it's up to you both if you want to keep things under wraps or go public after the premiere," Dave said coolly.

"Gotcha," Emilia said with a nervous smile.

"Where are we on the D&G ad campaign?" Mitchell asked Dave as he read through a document.

"I spoke with them and we're a go for separate commercials and separate photo shoots," Dave responded.

Emilia looked over at Kit with a small smile; one that she used to hide the all too real sadness that bled from her. 

Kit himself couldn't deny his own emotions. He didn't need to ask. He felt it too. He was always a private person when it came to his love life and the women he would date but these circumstances felt different; they felt like they were hiding; like they were still some shameful unwelcomed secret to feel guilty about.

This was the life of a celebrity. This was how it felt to not have control over how you lived; having to always think about your image and how the media might see you. This was how it had to be and there was no going around it. As much as they wanted to be free of these limitations and infuriating social bonds, they had to play along with whatever hand they'd been dealt. It was way too soon for all the public attention; for all the joint photo shoots and commercials. In truth and in fact, they've only been dating for a little over a month now even though it felt like much more. It was pretty early for all the couple shenanigans but it still didn't make the wait any less maddening.

"I leave next week for the set of Han Solo with Emilia and then the following month we'll be in Italy to shoot the commercial," he paused as he skipped a few pages. "Then it's back to London to wrap up the movie," Dave said as his finger ran lines through the sheet of paper in his hand.

"It's pretty much the same for us. We're heading to Yorkshire in a few days to start the interior filming in Keighley for Gunpowder and then we head to Italy early March for D&G," Kit added.

"Early March? I thought you said mid-March?" Emilia uttered as she turned to face Kit.

"Yeah I know but that was before Mitchell decided on us doing separate shoots."

"Oh."

"Right, so that means..." He began.

"We won't be in Italy at the same time," she said thoughtfully. "Which means I won't see you for at least two months," her gaze drifting from his to focus on an empty space in the air between them.

Mitchell and Dave watched the exchange; a fixed expression on their faces. They looked sympathetically at each other; sharing a quick knowing glance and a deep sorrowful understanding before they broke the thickening silence that settled in the white walled room.

"It will only be for two months," Mitchell said softly.

"You'll see how quickly the time flies," Dave added compassionately.

"I know. We've just never been apart for that long since we started dating," Emilia said, ignoring the pounding of her heart and the sting behind her eyes.

"It's going to take some time to get used to but we'll make it work," Kit added reassuringly, his gaze glued to the side of Emilia's face as he spoke. He reached for her, pulling her mind from her grim thoughts and bringing her hand to his lips for a tender kiss.

She smiled over at him sweetly; finding some level of comfort and reassurance in the simple act. "I know. I love you," she whispered.

"You guys are killing me over here," Dave said through small fits of chuckles.

"Are they melting your cold, black, empty heart?" Mitchell joked.

"You're not funny," Dave said as he fought a smile that tugged at the corner of his lips; his pride hoping that the other man hadn't noticed.

"WHERE ARE THEY?!" a high pitched voice rang out through the room from the hallway.

"Ma'am, you cannot go in there!"

"THE FUCK I CAN'T! GET YOUR BLOODY HANDS OFF ME!"

The voices got closer and closer as they stared wide eyed at each other in the boardroom.

Dave slid his chair back quickly; hastily making his way towards the door. There was a flash of blonde and brown past the large glass window before the door was being shoved open against the startled man; his hand still gripping the doorknob.

"What the hell is going on here?" Mitchell insisted as he rushed to stand next to Dave.

"I'm so sorry sir. I looked down for two seconds and she was already past me. _She's so fast!_ ," Dave's brunette assistant panted.

Both Kit and Emilia rose from their seats; their stance defensive as their eyes met with a breathless and fuming Charlene.

"What's the meaning of this?! Where's security? How did she get in?" Mitchell questioned.

"They're on their way," the assistant responded.

"What did you do?! What did you tell her?!" the angry blonde woman shouted.

"Excuse me? What are you talking about?" Emilia asked point blankly; her thick brows knitting together.

Kit placed a protective hand before Emilia; the limb coming to rest across her middle.

"You know bloody well what I'm talking about! Rose! She's been avoiding me! She hasn't been returning any of my calls or texts! I show up to her home and she doesn't even come to the door anymore and it's all because you told her something that evening she left my house to come see you! WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?!" Charlene shouted hysterically as she pointed at Kit.

"Whoa! I didn't tell her anything! When she came to us, she already knew everything. She told us you were the one who brought all those paparazzo's down on us and you were the one to leak all that shit to the media! I didn't need to tell her any of that, she already knew!" Kit defended.

"He's right! I was there! She already knew everything so all of this excitement is completely uncalled for!" Emilia added.

"Where the fuck is your security team?" Mitchell murmured to Dave.

The secretary disappeared from the doorway, running by the massive pane window and down the hollow halls of the office.

Charlene stood in the middle of the room; her eyes wild and fiery, her chest rising and falling hard and her face steely and red from the anger that coursed through her. "I don't believe you! You had to have said something! She would never treat me like this! You fucking ruined everything!" She wailed.

"Excuse me, sweetheart. No that was all you. _You_ ruined everything," Dave chimed in as he cut in front of the blonde, intersecting the space between her and his clients.

"Who the fuck are you?" Charlene questioned shortly, her brow raised in annoyance.

"I'm the person who's going to end you, if you don't apologize to my clients and get the hell out of here!" Dave said nonchalantly, his voice calm and unaffected by the aggravated woman before him.

Charlene scoffed at that. Her arms coming to cross over her bosom as she stared at the 5ft 6 man before her; her height towering him by a few inches. "Is that a threat little man?" she responded bitterly.

"As a matter of fact, it is. You see Ms. Durkham it _is_ in _your_ best interest if you do just as I say because if you don't and _god forbid you don't_ , I will be forced to resort to paying you back in much the same way you did my clients." His frame relaxed even more as he spoke, his shoulders leaning back just slightly as one hand came to rest below his chin. "Charlene is it? You've lead a very interesting life haven't you? I must say i've grown quite intrigued by your checkered past; your gambling addiction, your alcohol addiction and even that sordid affair you had a few years ago," Dave paused with a cold laugh.

Everyone watched in awe as Dave laid into the woman; observed as her steely demeanor lost its edge and her body became more flustered and uneasy with every word that left Dave's lips. Her face went from one of unprecedented defiance and shrewdness to one of utter horror and mortification.

"I haven't been reading very long on you but I don't recall you suffering any head injuries or memory loss which makes me wonder if the thinning air around you from being _so_ goddamn high up on that bloody horse of yours has caused you to forget your own sleazy love triangle from 2012. I bet you didn't even tell your dear friend Rose that the reason you had to leave that job was because you slept with your boss on several occasions and his poor wife found out." He let out another spine shivering laugh that filled the hollow room around them. "Did you tell her that's why he had to fire you? Did you tell her he's the one who bought you that _nice_ car and that mansion of a house you're living in? He bought your silence real good didn't he? Does she know Char Char? I can call you Char Char right?"

Charlene's jaw line was rigid and tightly clenched. Her hands fisting at her sides as she spoke, "That's enough!"

"Ms. Durkham you're playing a very dangerous game here; a game where I make the rules and you follow them. There are no second chances here and no do over's - you've royally fucked up the first time around so I'm setting you on the side lines, your time here is done," he paused victoriously. "And if you refuse... well... I found out all of this from what, an hour of idle snooping so imagine what I could find out about you with a dedicated three hours," Dave grinned.

"You're a piece of shit," she spat out venomously.

"Ah aha! Careful now! You wouldn't want me to call these media houses and have them hear where they got all that juicy info from now do you? And I bet Rose dearest would look at her friend quite differently after I call her up and lay the dirt on her about her favorite bezzie-mate."

And with that, the blonde haired woman let out a frustrated scream and stormed out; shoulders hunched, face stern and rigid, without even a backward glance towards the couple. She shoved past Dave and then Mitchell in the doorway, bumping his shoulder as she went. Dave barely batted an eyelid at the woman's theatrics and simply smiled to himself.

Charlene huffed and stomped her way down the hall before running head first into the path of the assistant and three burly looking men. They immediately grabbed on to the woman by her arm, twisting and shoving her towards the elevator at the end of the passage way.

"Well, that was intense," Dave chuckled.

"Are you guys okay?" Mitchell asked as he came to stand next to the stocky man.

Emilia looked over at Kit before responding; his face getting softer and more relaxed when his eyes met her own. "We're fine. We're good," she stammered. "She's insane isn't she? Completely off her trolley," the brunette added.

"I should call the police and have her arrested for trespassing," Mitchell added.

Dave laughed heartily. "That won't be necessary. I have a feeling we won't be hearing much from her anymore." 

"Dave, How did you..." Kit started.

"With some good natured snooping and investigating. I made a few calls and heard a few stories," he smirked cockily. "Have you forgotten how good I am at my job Mr. Harington?" Dave boasted smugly; his chocolaty eyes twinkling with mirth as he looked back at the younger man.

"I think _I_ did forget," Mitchell said quietly before Dave's eyes flew over to lock with the taller man next to him; their gaze unreadable and intense; a million wordless emotions passing between them as they studied each other.

Emilia looked at her agent and then the man who had his eyes locked with him. A knowing smile crept across her lips before her head drifted towards her boyfriend. He wagged his eyebrows at her comically, hinting at the building chemistry settling between them. She bit on the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing before nudging a grinning Kit next to her.

 

It was a little over 20 minutes of quietly driving along highways and past beautiful greeneries that Kit decided to break the silence. After leaving Dave's office, they had met upon two camera men and a few fans standing dedicatedly outside the towering building. Each secretly thanked the heavens when none of the 'paps' mentioned the troubled blonde woman who had blatantly interrupted their meeting a few minutes earlier. A lot had happened during that meeting; a lot that they needed to wrap their heads around; a lot that needed processing and settling but none could find the words.

Kit looked over at the woman in the passenger seat; her eyes trained on the window next to her; her mind wandering to anywhere but the present.

"You've been really quiet," Kit said softly as he glanced from her to the road.

Her head snapped around to look over at him, "Huh?"

He chuckled lightly before repeating, "I said you've been really quiet. Are you okay?"

"I'm...I'm just...just thinking about next week," she confessed sadly.

"What about it?"

She sighed softly before turning fully towards him, tucking one leg underneath her body, her back coming to rest against the passenger door.

"I know this isn't what we expected to happen...," he released a harsh breath. "Being away from you will possibly be the hardest thing I've ever had to do in a really longtime," Kit said before she could start.

His admission hit her hard and left her mouth agape. Her own words hovered over her tongue; unable to find the breathing energy to continue. He never looked at her as he spoke. He never glanced over at her or strung the air with heavier words than he had done just now and she knew why. He never wanted her to see the pain and sadness that lived there. He was trying to be strong for her; stronger than she was feeling herself.

"But we'll get through it. I'm not going anywhere. I promise, I'll be waiting right here when you get back," his voice softer and gentler than before and with this he did glance over at her. He almost regretted it when he did; his eyes meeting glossy blue green ones and quivering plump lips; her body gently shaking from the tears she held back. He reached for her then, one hand gripping hers as he stared back and forth from her to the road.

She covered his in hers; encasing it with all ten fingers as she brushed a quick kiss to the back of his hand. "I'm still going to miss you terribly though. Italy won't be the same without you," her voice uneven and shaky.

"I know," he sighed. "Tell you what, when this is all over and we're both in London, let's go away," he said thoughtfully; his voice slowly building in eagerness and excitement.

"Where?" Emilia chuckled.

"Anywhere you want to go."

"Somewhere far away."

"How far?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Really far," she laughed.

"Really far it is," he affirmed with a huge grin. "I'm still going to need a place though... Like with an actual name, you know I can't just call my travel agent and book a ticket for _really far_ ," he giggled.

"Shut up," she laughed lightly. "I'll think about it okay?" she paused looking at him curiously.

"What?"

"You're not messing with me right. You're being serious, we're actually going away?" she asked hesitantly. "Like on vacation? Together?"

"Am I that much of an asshole?"

"Sometimes. Yeah," she said with a huge grin.

Kit burst out laughing, "Gosh! Well then, yes. I'm being serious," he confirmed.

She quickly got up on her knees and threw her arms around his shoulders; the car swaying ever so slightly from the sudden impact as he let out a heavy rumbling laughter. He kept one hand firmly gripped on the steering as the other snaked around her bicep.

"Thankyou! Thankyou! Thankyou! Thankyou!" she chanted repeatedly as she peppered the side of his face with wet, clumsy kisses.

He giggled as he held his gaze on the road; his face scrunched from her amorous assault. "Anything for you sweetheart."

 

 

The next few days went by in a flash; fast and insufficient. They had spent almost every waking moment together, that was until Emilia had to leave for a meeting with Dave and had come back with a new haircut. She had known it was coming and had even mentioned it to her beloved but nothing had prepared her for the slight feeling of insecurity and shyness she had felt going back home.

She walked into his house that evening feeling unsure of herself; her shoes making light taps against the concrete as she made her way through the foyer. She nervously checked the living room area for any sign of the man that made a light dread settle in the pit of her stomach.

 _What if he didn't like it?_ It was only for the movie she had to shoot. It wasn't something she would have chosen for herself but it was her job, there was no going around it. She had no choice. 

_Why did she even care? Why was she this nervous over something so petty and trivial?_

This was so unlike her.

"Hey, you're back," the booming voice startled her from her thoughts as she approached the staircase.

She snapped around to see the culprit of her nervous mind rambles heading towards her from the kitchen; a sandwich in hand and his pajama bottoms and black t-shirt hanging loosely around him.

"Yeah. I am," she said nervously.

He stared at her peculiarly, tilting his head to the side as he took a careful bite of his sandwich. "You have bangs now," he stated in a flat tone as he chewed slowly.

"I do."

There was a swelling silence that slowly blanketed the room; a silence that made Emilia begin to fidget and shift uncomfortably. Her heart was becoming louder and louder in her ears and her soul was beginning to cringe with all the emptiness that needed a desperate filling. She wanted to cower and hide but that was never who she was; she had never been afraid of anything, worst of all Kit Harington. And why should she be? He was her bestfriend. Her lover. Her _boyfriend_.

God that sounded weird. They had never really placed a label on what they were and now that her mind had gone ahead and slapped a name to it, it was all beginning to sound quite odd and real.

What was even more odd and real was her reaction to the man before her. The way his eyes scanned her and pierced her armor made her more nervous than she was willing to admit.

Before she could even finish her thought, Kit had began advancing on her. His sandwich left on a nearby table at the staircase and his face completely unreadable. He stood before her, his eyes drifting from her bangs to her eyes, making her heart rate quicken at the intense scrutiny.

She was about to push him away and flee to a safe space; a place where he couldn't reach her but before she could decide on where that was, his face opened up in a teeth glowing grin.

Her brows knitted together instantly; her head tilting ever so slightly as she tried to decipher his angle but he gave her no further time to think as his hands went to cup her face on either sides, pulling her towards him. His lips meeting her bangs, up against a clammy, confused forehead.

"Why do you worry so much?" he whispered as held her head lovingly.

"I..."

"There's hardly anything you can hide from me, you know that right?" he paused to play with a few strands from her bang. "You're beautiful - with bangs, without bangs, bald. I don't care. I. love. YOU."

"Bald?" she asked; slightly taken aback by his words.

"I'm just saying, if you ever chose to go bald, I'd love you just the same. Don't ever be afraid that I won't accept everything that comes with you," he smiled tenderly.

"You almost gave me a heart attack," she giggled.

"I know. That was the plan," he teased smugly.

"You were trying to give me a heart attack?"

"I was trying to teach you a lesson for doubting me," he finished as he brushed a quick kiss against her cheek and walked by her to retrieve his sandwich.

"You're a real cunt, do you know that?"

The curly haired man spun around with a teasing grin spread across his face and one eyebrow arched. He took a massive bite of his sandwich before turning to walk away. "And you love me all the same don't you?" he threw over his shoulder as he made his way to the staircase.

"You know what, you don't deserve a sandwich!" she exclaimed as she rushed passed him to grab the sandwich and bolt towards the back of the house.

It took Kit a few seconds to realize what had just happened before he set off behind her; hot on her heels as they dashed through the house; their footsteps making heavy thumping sounds as they went.

Emilia hurriedly made her way through the sliding doors that led into the garden just beyond the house. She quickly pushed the doors together before looking up to see Kit racing towards her. She released a shriek from the thrill and excitement of being chased as she ran off down the grassy path. She giggled loudly; her shoes hardly able to catch any friction against the slightly damp greenery as she went. She stole a quick glance over her shoulder as she ran, her eyes catching Kit's as he made his way into the opening.

"You're in so much trouble," he yelled as he advanced on her.

"It's not fair, I'm slipping," she shouted back.

She made her way around the shrubbery that surrounded the pool before skidding to a halt at the edge.

"Don't come any closer," she said with childlike laughter bubbling from her chest; her hand extended over the pool with the sandwich. "I'll drop it. I swear," she threatened.

Kit's pace slowed as he approached her; his steps careful and calculated as he stalked over to the brunette with cat like precision. "You wouldn't."

"Try me," she dared; one eyebrow lifted as she playfully dangled the sandwich.

Just then a wide grin trailed across the brunette man's lips as he continued to advance on the woman before him.

"What are you doing?" she asked apprehensively.

"Nothing."

"Don't make me do this Kit," she threatened nervously.

"Do it," his grin widening with each slow step.

"What?"

"Throw it in the pool."

He was right in front of her now; mere inches separating them. The glare of the sunlight dancing behind him, causing her to squint at the brightness and lower her gaze. He reached for the hand with the sandwich, his other limb wrapping securing around her waist.

"What are you doing?"

"Teaching you a lesson," he said finally before tilting his body in the direction of the pool causing her own to sway; her legs bending under pressure before her entire stance faltered and fell.

There was nothing she could do but let out a ear shattering scream as her body hit the chilling water; Kit's body pulling her beneath the surface and deeper into the blue abyss. It wasn't until they had sank to maybe three feet did he release her.

She quickly made her way above surface; kicking and pulling at the fluid prison until she was gasping for air; a sudden rush of oxygen filling her lungs while she coughed and panted. It was then that Kit surfaced next to her; a grin still firmly in place.

"I fucking hate you," she said as she splashed him dramatically; flailing her body around in mock frustration.

"I know," he laughed as he swam over to her; grabbing her waist and pulling her beneath the water again but this time a little gentler than before.

They twisted and wrestled languidly in the watery cocoon. He pulled her closer by the face, meshing their lips together underwater and she allowed him. She was through with fighting him and would allow him this victory for all the times that they would be apart. Now wasn't about wasting energy with keeping score; it was a time for loving and knitting together memories that would keep them warm for the lonely nights to come.

Bubbles floated around them from between their moving lips as they tasted and devoured the breath of each other before coming above water once more.

Kit pushed away matted, wet hair from her face; flicking away pieces of her bang and wrapping his arms possessively around her middle as he kept them afloat.

"My shoes. My clothes. Everything's wet," she said with a smirk.

"I won't apologize for my teaching methods," he added quickly.

"Shut up," Emilia managed through fits of laughter before leaning in to capture his lips in another quick kiss.

 

It was hard saying goodbye to the man she loved but what was even harder was seeing the same look of anguish in his own eyes as they held each other at the airport. The last couple of days had gone by way too quickly for their liking and it felt like the Universe was intentionally trying to speed things along for whatever reason.

He had driven her to the airport in silence except for the solid grip that he had on her hand as he steered. He pulled her suitcase from the car before entangling their fingers as they strolled through the massive space towards the check-in area. It was then that the inevitable happened, the tears that needed to be shed came pouring from her without a second thought and he wiped them all; caught every one of them on the tip of his fingers as he held her face in his loving hands. He whispered the things she needed to hear and coaxed her into putting on a brave front, not only for herself but for him as well. He would never forgive her if she made him cry in this airport. He would never let her live that down but it was a harder task to maintain than she thought. And as he held her against him; her face buried in his neck, taking in the essence of him; she wept silently. They had an audience of course; persons slowing down to stare or taking a quick picture as they said their farewells but none seeing the grief that rocked them both.

She pulled away suddenly; flicking her sunglasses down over her face and smiling sweetly up at the man that bled for her. It was evident in his glossy eyes that she would have been missed; that he would be holding a safe space for her until she returned. And after seeing the commitment in chocolate orbs, she gathered herself; reigned in her emotions and silently voiced her departure. He had lowered his head to kiss her cheek and told her to stay safe before she marched by him; leaving him to watch her retreating figure disappearing into the sea of awe stricken people.

 

Much was to be said about those couples who lived in different countries. Long distant relationship were nothing if not difficult. Though it had only been two weeks since they've been apart, they still struggled with an emptiness and longing that could only be described as cruel and inhumane. They relied on Skype to fill the void but it was never enough. They'd fall asleep watching each other after a long day; filling in the other in a way that would make them feel less alone; painting the most vivid of pictures so they'd feel like they were there too. 

It was hard, especially during the time that Kit would be in Italy without her.

"It's so beautiful here," he said into his phone.

"I know. Ugh! I can't believe you're there without me," she sighed into her earphones.

"I know. We could vacation here if you'd like," he suggested.

"Hmmm... I'll think about it," Emilia said thoughtfully.

"Wait, I have something to show you," he said as he shuffled around before picking the device up. 

Emilia could see his hotel room; a vast and beautiful space with ornamented wallpaper and fancy furniture. She could also see Kit pushing a cigarette between his lips as he made his way towards a much brighter area of the room.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked curiously.

"To the balcony," he said as he pulled the glass doors open and slid between sheer white curtains to an area that sounded of people shouting and screaming for him.

"What's that?"

"There are so many of them down there. Look," he said as he spun the camera around on his device to reveal a huge crowd below the balcony, gathering and cheering in the streets.

_Kit, we love you!_

_Italia loves you !_

Followed by a deep, spiritual chanting of _King in the North_.

Several incoherent screeching sounds and cries filled the speaker as she looked at the wide expanse of roadway buzzing with people; men, women, young boys and girls all gathered to show the man on the phone some love.

"Say hi," he instructed playfully.

He lit his cigarette and laughed giddily as the smoke escaped his lips and filled the space around him. He waved to the fans below with much enthusiasm and glee before spinning the camera to face him again; taking another long pull of the stick in his hand.

"Well?" he asked excitedly.

"You're getting a real kick out of this aren't you?"

"What can I say? They really do love me," he added proudly.

"How many have you had?"

Kit looked intensely at the device before glancing at the cigarette in his hand. "Since I've been here or since today?"

"Today."

"Maybe 4 or 5," he said simply.

"Kit," she warned.

"I know. I know. I should be cutting down to at least 2 per day but I made a judgment call and you weren't here to stop me. I've been really stressed babe," he countered.

She gave him an unimpressed look with the tilt of her head and the quirk of her brow.

"Don't give me that look," he said as he waved at the crowd in the street before entering his hotel room again.

"What look?" she asked as she lowered her head; her fingers going to make small circles at her temples; her eyes tightly shut behind dizzying eyes.

"The look you were giving me before," he said as he paused to observe her. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I think I might have caught a stomach bug or something. I haven't been feeling well lately."

"What do you mean? Have you been to the doctor?" he asked worriedly.

"No. No. I'm fine. Just some upset stomach and a little vomiting," she stated flatly.

"And your head?"

"A light migraine. Nothing to worry about," she continued to rub at her temples as she slowly rotated her neck before eventually glancing back into the camera.

"Em, you look a little pale. You need to..."

"Kit. Drop it okay? Honestly, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me. I'll deal with this," irritation slowly seeping into her tone.

There was a pause on both ends of the device; Kit staring at the woman on the screen; casting a skeptical eye at her; his gaze locked like magnets.

She sighed before looking back into the camera worriedly, "Kit... I'm late."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't explain what's been happening to me since recently. It took me a longer time than usual to get this chapter out. I don't know if it was writer's block or something deeper but the words had to be dug from my belly. It was extremely hard getting this chapter on paper but here we are and I'm so grateful. There's been a lot happening in my life; a lot of different changes and growing lessons that I needed to learn (I'm so tired). 
> 
> I'm so appreciative of those who are still here, for those who were understanding, for those who told me to take my time, and sent me all those beautiful vibes and encouraging words; it wasn't easy and I love you guys so much for being gentle and patient with me. Every comment and kudos made me smile and it kept me writing, even in those times when the words were trapped beneath my tongue. Those dedicated readers who always send me the cutest of messages and the sweetest of words in my comments and for those who come back again and again to check on updates, I see you <3 <3 xoxo
> 
> For those who are still worried about me completing the story, rest assured that I will. I do not plan to abandon this fanfiction; i might not be able to post every week but I promise to post as often as I can. I also do not plan to take such a long time to get the next chapter to you. I'm going to continue to go with the vibes I have now; the words are flowing a little easier now.
> 
> THANK YOU GUYS! <3


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